Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
DANNY
Danny knocked hesitantly on the bathroom door.
Elena had been gone a long while and he was worried she might have drowned in the huge standalone bathtub.
It was an unlikely scenario, she was a strong swimmer and she’d survived being capsized in the lake, so a bathtub was unlikely to outwit her, but he felt the need to check on her anyway.
He could hear faint mumblings through the door and the splash of water.
‘Elena?’ He tapped gently. ‘Are you okay in there?’
The splashing paused. ‘I’m fine.’
She didn’t sound fine, she sounded grumpy. He couldn’t blame her, no one appreciated ending up in a muddy lake. He guessed he should have warned her. Getting wet was inevitable, but keeping that information from her hadn’t been fair.
‘Are you sure? Only you don’t sound fine. Is there anything I can help with?’
A weighted silence followed. ‘Not unless you’re an expert in removing mud.’
He should have realised. When she’d emerged from the lake, dripping wet and wiping mud from her face, he’d half expected her to yell at him.
Instead, she’d laughed and thrown a lump of mud at him, told him he was a ‘clumsy goose’, and refused his offer to help her up the slippery grass bank.
He had a vague recollection of using the same phrase when they’d been drunk at the roaring twenties event, so he figured it was a fitting insult.
He leaned against the doorframe, his hair still damp from having showered in the downstairs family mud room, installed for the specific purpose of removing dirt after dog walking, horse riding, and boating accidents such as today.
‘I spent many Sundays after football matches removing mud from Connor’s hair, clothing and boots. Mud does not faze me.’
Another lengthy pause. ‘Fine.’
‘Fine? As in you’d like to me come in and help you?’
‘I suppose so. The door’s unlocked.’
He opened the door, hesitating before stepping inside.
Bathrooms at Bucklebury Manor were not like the average bathrooms found in a new build property.
They were large rooms, with open fires, ancient plumbing, and ornate clawfoot tubs centred in the middle of the room.
The shower units downstairs were for practicality, but the Spencer-Harrisons liked to bathe in luxury.
Steam filled the room, smearing the gilt mirrors and glass panels on the large sash window. The lights were dimmed and two candles cast flickering light across the room. His senses were hit by a combination of lavender, rose, and coconut milk.
Elena was submerged in the water, sunk low enough to conceal everything except her head and hands. The abundance of bubbles were threatening to overspill the rim.
‘Warmed up now?’ he said, heading over and kneeling behind her.
‘I think so, although I can still smell algae.’ Her hair looked even darker wet, and it contrasted against the white porcelain bathtub.
She reminded him of Cleopatra, bathing in coconut milk, as opposed to asp’s milk.
‘The shampoo’s on the floor. I’ve washed it three times, but the mud won’t shift. ’
‘The trick is to crumble it away, rather than washing it out,’ he said, laying a towel on the stone flooring and gently extricating the mud from Elena’s hair. ‘Like you do when making pastry, rubbing the lumps until they disintegrate. If you try pulling that’s when it’s painful.’
‘As I’ve discovered.’ She let out a sigh, the movement causing the water to slurp up the sides of the tub. ‘You’re very knowledgeable about mud. Also pastry making.’ She sounded amused, which was better than grumpy.
He continued removing mud from her hair. ‘Essential requirements of being a parent.’
‘You said Connor played football. Was he a sporty kid?’ She sounded doubtful, and he knew why. Connor was a gentle soul, more suited to the arts than physical roughhousing.
‘Not really. He went through a phase of trying to fit in at school by playing sports, but his heart wasn’t really in it.’
‘He’s not a good team player?’ She didn’t sound critical, just curious.
‘It’s not that, he’s just not competitive.
Although he is good at basketball, but he lacks the killer instinct.
He was happier helping out with school plays and fundraisers than competing in sports.
He was more popular with the teachers than the students.
Connor was one of those kids who liked taking responsibility and helping people, rather than being the centre of attention. ’
‘Nothing wrong with that. Those are good traits to have.’
‘I agree.’ He ran his hands over her hair, checking for clumps of mud.
It felt strangely intimate to be touching her in such a way.
It was usually the other way around, and he wondered if she felt as undone as he did when she touched him.
‘Plus, helping others is good for him. I’ve noticed a real difference since he’s started volunteering. I’m hoping we’ve turned a corner.’
‘He seemed to have fun today.’
‘Yeah, he likes spending time here. This place is a safe haven, no one judges him or asks awkward questions, he’s loved unconditionally.’ He squirted shampoo into his palm and rubbed his hands together.
Elena lifted her arms and blew the bubbles away. ‘The Spencer-Harrisons are quite a unique family.’
‘That’s one way to describe them.’ He kept his gaze away from the sight of her body, visible though gaps in the bubbles, and began massaging her hair, sliding his fingers over her scalp, ensuring all the mud had disappeared.
‘I like them.’
He smiled. ‘I thought you might. Lift your head for me.’
She lifted her head, resting on her elbows on the sides of the bath. ‘Why do you say that?’
‘They’re uninhibited. They don’t care what people think.
They live life according to their own rules, and they never allow anyone to shame them or deter them from being their authentic selves.
’ He didn’t add that they reminded him of Elena.
She had the same positive outlook on life, always energised, and not seeming to care what other people thought.
‘It sounds like you envy them almost, which is interesting.’
‘How so?’
‘Well, you like the Spencer-Harrisons for being unrestrained and free in the way they live their lives, and yet you choose the opposite, opting for restraint and control. Why is that?’
‘Lower your head in the water so I can wash off the shampoo.’ As he rinsed her hair, he thought about her observation. He’d never really spotted the contradiction before, but she was right, as she usually was. He acted one way, but admired something different.
She disappeared under the water, running her hands through her hair and sloshing the water. When she remerged, she twisted to face him and rested her chin on the edge of the rim. ‘Well?’
He shrugged. ‘Habit, I guess. My childhood was governed by control and rules, so it’s ingrained in me.
The one time I allowed myself to let go and take a risk it ended badly.
And then Connor came into my life, and I was forced to grow up quickly and act responsibly.
I suppose it seemed easier to live guardedly than throw caution to the wind. ’
‘Even if your instincts say otherwise?’
He frowned at her. ‘Why do you say that?’
‘The few times I’ve seen you smiling and looking truly happy have been when you’ve not been in control and you’ve allowed yourself to let go. It seems to me living cautiously might be what your head dictates you should do, but it isn’t what your heart actually wants.’
‘It’s not just about me, is it? I couldn’t be reckless with Connor’s safety or happiness. He comes first.’
‘No, but he’s no longer a child in need of constant protection. He’s a man now. Can you pass me that towel?’
Danny got to his feet and fetched a towel from the railing. ‘Connor’s still fragile,’ he said, holding the towel open for Elena and averting his gaze. ‘He needs me. Keeping him safe is my priority.’
She stood up, sending water sloshing around the bathtub, her body covered in suds.
‘I get that, but it seems to me your life has been governed by two extreme ideals. The pendulum has swung between stifling rules and heightened drama that ended in disaster, nothing in between. No blend of calculated risk, or opportunities to push boundaries in a safe environment.’ She stepped out of the bathtub and took the towel from him, wrapping it around her.
‘With such heartbreak clouding your judgement, it’s hardly any wonder you’re afraid of letting go, which is a shame, as when you do, the light that shines from you is almost blinding. ’
His eyes shifted to hers, he was stunned by her words.
She nodded to the door. ‘You can go now. Thanks for removing the mud, you’re indeed very skilled in that department.’ She smiled. ‘As you mentioned pastry-making, I’m hoping cooking is another skill you possess. Boat racing is hungry work, any chance of some food?’
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Sure, no problem. Head down to the kitchen when you’re done.’
‘Thanks.’ Turning away, she lowered the towel to dry herself, revealing a flash of glistening skin that did nothing to dampen his confusion. Once again, she seemed totally at ease with her body and it was hard to stop himself staring.
Common sense forced him to turn away and exit the bathroom, needing an escape from the heady scents adding to his unsettled state.
Elena had highlighted the contradictions in his life.
In the process, she’d created another one.
His feelings for Elena Romero. His head said steer clear, his heart disagreed entirely.
Twenty minutes later, Elena appeared in the open-plan kitchen wearing jeans and a fleece. Her short hair had dried wavy and she was wearing the chunky socks he’d left out for her, no shoes.
‘You look warmer,’ he said, adding chopped garlic and chilli to the saucepan and making the ingredients sizzle.
‘I feel warmer. Cleaner too,’ she said, looking curiously around the room.