14. Lee #2
One of my old employees from Love-Lee. I hadn’t seen her since the day I got arrested, and now here she was at a damn pumpkin patch with my man.
What the fuck?
I stopped chewing and stared at them, trying to figure out why the hell they were together. Then Hannah shifted to the side, and that was when I noticed her stomach beneath her shirt.
She was pregnant. Very pregnant.
I slowly lowered the caramel apple from my mouth.
Seeing Hannah with JB was already strange enough, but finding out she was pregnant after not seeing her in five years had my mind trying to catch up with too much shit at once.
I was still standing there wondering what the hell was going on when a little boy came running from the direction of the snack stand, headed straight for JB.
JB saw him coming and bent down, catching him around the waist and lifting him into his arms like he’d done it a thousand times.
“Daddy!”
My whole body went cold as I watched JB kiss the little boy on the cheek before setting him back on his feet. Hannah reached over to straighten his jacket, and then the boy slipped his hand into JB’s like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I just stood there staring at the three of them.
It was how comfortable they looked together that fucked me up.
JB hadn’t hesitated when that boy ran to him.
Hannah hadn’t needed to tell him to pick him up or help with him.
The little boy damn sure hadn’t thought twice about calling him Daddy and reaching for his hand.
Whatever I was looking at wasn’t new. This was a family.
The noise around me started fading until I could barely hear anything over the blood rushing in my ears.
Somewhere behind me, kids were laughing and somebody was calling people over for the hayride, but it all sounded far away.
I don’t know how long I stood there trying to make what I was seeing turn into something else before JB finally looked across the crowd and saw me. He froze, and that was all I needed.
If there had been some explanation for what I was looking at, it wasn’t written anywhere on his face. He didn’t look confused about why I was standing there staring at him with another woman and a little boy calling him Daddy. He looked caught.
I started toward him before I had any idea what I was going to say. JB watched me coming, his face changing with every step I took, and before I reached them, he had already moved away from Hannah.
“Lee-”
I held up my hand. “Don’t.”
His mouth closed.
I looked down at the little boy because he was the only person standing there who hadn’t done a damn thing to me. He had moved closer to JB and was watching me with the kind of caution kids got when they knew the grown-ups around them were acting strange.
“What’s your name, baby?” I asked.
The little boy looked up at JB before answering me. “JJ.”
“JJ?” I repeated, still looking at him.
Hannah reached for his hand and pulled him closer to her. “Jabari Junior, come here.”
I heard her, but my brain refused to take it in. I looked at her, then at JB.
“What she just call him?”
JB swallowed. “Lee-”
“What the fuck did she just call him?”
JJ moved closer to Hannah at the sound of my voice, and I saw it, but I couldn’t take my eyes off JB.
The rattle of wooden wheels over gravel came from behind me before JB could answer.
“Lee?”
I glanced back and saw Van coming toward us with the wagon. The second he got close enough to see my face, he slowed down, his eyes moving from me to JB, then Hannah and JJ.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Just… give me a minute.”
Van looked at me for a second longer. He didn’t walk away, but he didn’t push either. He moved off to the side, close enough that I knew he was there, and I turned back to JB.
“His name Jabari?”
JB dragged a hand over his mouth. “Yeah.”
For a second, I couldn’t breathe. “You named him after our son?”
“Lee, listen-”
“You named another baby after my son?”
“It ain’t like that.”
“Then what the fuck is it like, JB?” My voice cracked. “Because I laid in that prison thinking about our baby every day, and you had another little boy out here walking around with his name.”
JJ’s face crumpled, and Hannah immediately pulled him closer to her side. Seeing him standing there scared made me lower my voice, but it didn’t do shit to stop my hands from shaking. The caramel apple stick dug into my palm where I still had it clenched in my fist.
I looked back at JB. “How old is he?”
JB hesitated, and that hesitation did something to me.
“How old is your son?” I repeated.
“Three.”
Three.
My stomach dropped as my mind started doing the math before I wanted it to. Three meant I had been locked up. Three meant he had made a baby with her while I was sitting in that prison waiting on him, believing we were still us.
“You fucked her while I was in prison?”
“Lee-”
“You fucked Hannah while I was in prison?”
JB looked at me, and when he finally answered, his voice was low. “Yeah.”
I stared at him. That little yeah hurt worse than all the shit I had already figured out on my own.
I looked at Hannah, then back at him. “While I was doing time for you?”
“Lee, let me explain.”
“Explain what?” Tears blurred my vision. “What the fuck can you possibly say to me right now?”
I could feel Van getting closer without even looking at him.
“Lee,” he said quietly.
“I’m good.”
“You’re not.”
I turned on him. “Van, please.”
He held my eyes for a second, then nodded. “All right.”
But he stayed close.
I turned back around, and my eyes landed on Hannah. Then her stomach. For the first time since I walked over there, I really looked at it. “Is that his baby?”
Hannah’s hand went to her stomach. That was answer enough, but I still needed to hear it. “Is that his baby?”
Hannah looked at JB before she looked back at me. “Yeah.”
A laugh came out of me, except it sounded nothing like one. “Wow.”
“Lee-”
“Shut the fuck up, JB.”
He went quiet, and I looked at all of them again. Hannah standing there with JJ tucked close to her side, her stomach round with another baby, and JB looking like somehow all of this had happened to him instead of being shit he had done.
“So this ain’t just some shit that happened while I was gone.”
Hannah’s face tightened. “No.”
I looked at JB. “You love her?”
“Lee.”
“Do you love her?”
His jaw tightened, and his eyes flicked toward the people moving around us. A family passed behind Hannah carrying two pumpkins while I stood there waiting on the man I had loved half my life to answer me.
“Do you love her, JB?”
“Why the fuck does that matter right now?”
My mouth fell open. “Why does it matter?”
“That ain’t what I meant.”
“Then answer me.”
He looked away.
I wanted him to say no so bad.
I nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“Lee, don’t do that.”
“Do what? You can fuck her, have a baby with her, get her pregnant again, but you can’t tell me if you love her?”
“It’s complicated.”
“No, the fuck it ain’t.” I pointed between him and Hannah. “Do you love her?”
JB still wouldn’t answer me, so I looked at Hannah. “Does he love you?”
“Ask him.”
“I fucking did.”
“And he ain’t answer you.”
Something about the way she said it made my head turn.
“You knew about me.”
Hannah’s expression changed. “Yeah. I knew.”
“You worked for me.”
“I know where I worked.”
“You sat in my fucking shop with me every day. You knew me and this man had been together damn near our whole lives.”
“And he knew that too.”
I stared at her.
Hannah shifted JJ closer to her side. “So don’t stand here putting all that shit on me like he ain’t the one who owed you something.”
“Oh, bitch, I know exactly what the fuck he owed me. I’m talking to you right now.”
“And I’m telling you, talk to your man.”
“My man?” I laughed through the tears still running down my face. “Apparently he your fucking man too.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “I ain’t doing this with you.”
That did it. I stepped toward her. “You ain’t doing what with me?”
Van moved immediately. “Lee.”
I ignored him.
Hannah looked me up and down. “All this yelling and carrying on ain’t necessary. My son standing right here.”
“Then maybe you should’ve thought about your fucking son before you started running your mouth.”
“Lee,” Van said again, closer this time.
Hannah’s face hardened. “What you not finna do is come over here acting crazy with me because your nigga lied to you.”
“My nigga?”
“You heard me.”
I moved before I thought about it. “Bitch-”
Van caught me around the waist before I made it two steps.
“Lee. No.”
“Get the fuck off me!”
“Hell no.” He tightened his arms when I tried to twist away. “She’s pregnant.”
“I don’t give a fuck!”
“Yes, you do.” Van pulled me back another step when I tried to get around him. “You just got home. You’re not going back over this shit.”
Going back.
Those two words hit me hard enough that I stopped fighting him. My chest was heaving, tears running down my face while I stared at Hannah over Van’s arm. She had pulled JJ behind her now, keeping him close while he watched all of us with wide eyes.
“Who the fuck is this?” JB’s voice made me turn.
He was staring at Van. He had seen him when he walked up with the wagon, but everything had been happening so damn fast that JB had barely paid him any attention before. He was paying attention now.
His eyes dropped to Van’s arm still wrapped around my waist, then came back up to his face. Van must’ve felt me stop fighting because he loosened his hold and let me go.
“What?” I asked.
JB looked at me. “Who the fuck is he?”
I stared at him. “Are you serious right now?”
“You heard me.”
“He’s my friend.”
“Your friend?” His eyes went back to Van. “You came here with him?”
“Yes.”
JB looked at me again, and I knew that look. Now he was mad. “How long you been sneaking around with this nigga?”
For a second, I couldn’t even believe what the fuck I was hearing. Then I laughed. “You cannot be serious.”
“I’m dead fucking serious.”
“You standing here with your son and your pregnant bitch, asking me how long I been sneaking around with somebody?”