Chapter 12
HELENA TWISTED THE mop head into the draining section of the bucket, watching with satisfaction as the last droplets of filthy water squeezed out.
She sloshed the dirty water down the sink, rinsing the mop one more time before swilling out the bucket.
With a sigh of relief, she took off her marigolds and ceremoniously dumped them in the tub of cleaning products.
‘And that… is that!’ she laughed, beaming at Margery who was walking around the house with a goofy grin and the dazed expression of a contestant on a household makeover show. They had finally finished.
‘I can’t believe we’ve done it!’ Helena looked around, buzzing with satisfaction. ‘You wouldn’t even know it was the same place!’
Margery was beside herself with gratitude. ‘You are a wonder dear, a true wonder. I am so lucky to have you as my neighbour. There is no way on earth I could have done something like this without your help…’
Helena wrapped her arms around Margery and gave her a hug. ‘We did it together!’
She was annoyed that she hadn’t taken any before and after photographs. She knew that no one would ever believe the transformation. No one would ever see the state the place had been in before, which was probably no bad thing.
‘So, are you still up for a trip into town tomorrow to have a look at mattresses?’ Helena asked, glancing at her watch and realising how late it was.
‘Yes please. Shall I drive? It’s definitely my turn!’ Margery’s three-wheeler hadn’t quite had the required storage capacity.
‘No, no, don’t worry, it’s too easy for me. I’ll come and get you after I drop Raffy.’
‘If you’re sure?’
‘Absolutely.’
As Margery walked her out to the front door, Helena noticed a spring in her step.
She could see why: if the practitioners of Feng Shui had a point, then the feel of Margery’s living space had gone from the most negative of states to the most positive.
Even Helena could sense a sort of lightening in the mood of the place, accompanying the actual lightening due to the removal of objects blocking the windows.
She laughed to herself as she imagined her mother smudging the place with sage and waving her crystal wand about to cleanse the energy of the house.
She dashed back across the road and stashed her cleaning supplies in the cupboard.
Raffy had stayed late at school for a sports club, but time had got away with her and she was cutting it fine if she was going to make it for pick up.
She pulled into a parking spot and raced to the front gate, where the group of remaining children were gathered, glad to see that Meg and Maisy were there too: it wasn’t only Helena who was running behind schedule.
As she chatted to the PE teacher about Raffy’s prowess in athletics she saw Nathalie coming towards her.
Too embarrassed to face her in person in case she questioned her refusal of the birthday invitation, Helena cut the conversation short and pulled Raffy away.
She whipped her phone out of her pocket and pretended to answer a call, realising as she did so that her phone was not on silent.
She crossed her fingers that it wouldn’t ring at the moment Nathalie passed by, thereby destroying her pretence.
Luckily it didn’t. Helena talked away to a pretend friend, mouthing sorry and pointing to her phone to explain why she couldn’t stop and chat.
Nathalie, dressed in a fabulous red skirt that wouldn’t look amiss on a Flamenco dancer, with large wooden hoops in her ears, gave her a cheerful wave.
Helena was pleased to see that she didn’t appear to be holding a grudge, and berated herself for overthinking everything.
If only she didn’t have such an overactive imagination.
If only she could be a bit more like Nathalie.
She bet she didn’t give a toss what other people thought.
The lateness of her arrival home meant that she was running a bit behind schedule with dinner.
Raffy didn’t settle easily, wanting extra time in the bath and extra stories at bedtime.
Helena then had to shower herself, keen to erase the traces of her hard day’s work, before she got started on dinner.
As she was putting some pork chops in the oven Noah walked in.
Helena could feel his rage even though she had her back to him.
‘Well. I’ve just been having the most delightful chat!’ he sneered.
‘Oh yes?’ Helena turned and smiled, determined to keep her cool.
‘With the old bat next door.’ Helena felt a surge of protectiveness over Margery.
Despite her determination, her heart started to pound a little faster, her palms began to sweat. Had he found out what she’d been up to?
She nodded mutely and swallowed, her mouth suddenly unbearably dry.
‘Apparently you have been “ever so helpful.”’ His fingers drew quotation marks around the words.
Helena licked her lips and attempted to choose the right words to calm him down. She knew he would be angry that she had kept her intervention from him but she had only been trying to help Margery out. Surely he would understand?
‘She was so upset… she was too embarrassed to have anyone in the house. It was full of junk. She was verging on becoming a full-scale hoarder,’ she stammered, aware that she was talking too much but unable to stop herself.
‘The place was completely impossible to clean with that much stuff and those poor dogs… Not to mention poor old Margery. I had to help—’
He cut her off. ‘What have I told you about staying out of other people’s business?’
She could see a swollen vein on his right temple, his jaw was clenched in anger.
‘I know—’
‘What, in fact, did I say only the other day?’ He enunciated every syllable in that crisp, patronising way that made her skin crawl.
For Christ’s sake. She had hardly committed a cardinal sin. She was determined to stick up for herself for once. ‘But, Noah—’
‘ENOUGH!’
He held up a hand as if to block her from his sight.
‘No. Buts.’
There was a long pause. He drew a breath in and exhaled, slowly and deliberately.
‘I expressly told you that I did not want you anywhere near that mad old woman and her filthy house.’
Helena racked her brains furiously for the best way to deescalate the situation.
‘You clearly decided to ignore my wishes and go ahead and do whatever the fuck you wanted!’ He rubbed his temples, wincing. She couldn’t believe how angry he was. He was spitting with rage. It was completely disproportionate. ‘Do you know what, Helena? I have had enough. I. Have. Had. Enough.’
‘I’m sorry. I just felt so bad for her, I didn’t think you’d really mind if I leant her a—’
‘Stop,’ he said quietly.
The warning tone sent a shot of dread coursing through her.
‘But you see—’
‘I said. No. Buts.’ Noah repeated, his voice cold and monotone.
‘I know, I know you didn’t want me to help her. I get that. But you see—’
She hadn’t meant to say it. She was panicking, unable to get across what she was trying to say. The word had flown right out of her mouth before she could stop it.
She stayed frozen to the spot. Noah came striding over, right up to her.
He was inches from her face. The look of rage flashing in his eyes scared her.
She flinched as he raised his hand. She could feel her heart hammering against her ribcage.
Time seemed to stand still as his clenched fist hovered in the air above her face.
Her legs felt weak beneath her. Helena held her breath, she didn’t dare so much as flicker an eyelid in fear of provoking him.
She held his gaze, silently pleading with him not to hurt her.
After what felt like an eternity Noah slammed his fist into the wall behind her, grazing her ear. ‘You are pathetic,’ he hissed, before turning his back and storming out of the house.
Helena stood trembling. He had never been so close to hitting her.
She stumbled out into the garden. The cool evening air hit her flushed skin as she sank down to her knees.
She willed herself to calm down. Her breaths were ragged and shallow.
She knew she needed to breathe slowly, remembering anxiety attacks she had suffered from as a teenager.
She had been bullied at school, no doubt partly due to her teen acne, her orthodontist’s insistence that she wore train tracks with headgear to correct her wonky teeth and overbite, and the bizarre pudding bowl bob her mum gave her with the kitchen scissors.
She tried to visualise her mum sitting by her side, as she so often had done, rubbing her shoulders, saying ‘Breathe in light, breathe out what does not serve you,’ until they subsided.
As her breath returned to normal, she tried to make sense of the thoughts that were raging through her mind, to figure out what had just happened, to decide what to do next.
He wouldn’t be back for a while, she suspected.
She realised she was shivering, but it wasn’t from the temperature outside.
She was fairly sure that that was it, for now at least. Noah’s rages were like a state of temporary insanity.
They took hold of him in an instant and left just as quickly.
She knew once it had passed that would be it.
But for how long? What was she supposed to do?
She couldn’t keep putting up with this. She stayed sitting there. She didn’t know how long for.
Eventually, she pulled herself up. She looked up at the sky.
A few last blushes of amber light seeped into the darkness above.
The first stars were beginning to emerge, blinking sleepily into the night.
She walked back inside, trying to stop the feeling of shame that overwhelmed her.
Maybe she had gone too far this time? Why couldn’t she have just done what he had asked her to do.
Minded her own business. She couldn’t bear this kind of animosity between them.
The familiar flood of anxiety washed over her once again.
She hoped and prayed that he would come back.
That this time, she hadn’t pushed him too far.