Chapter 14
LIFE WITH NOAH carried on as usual after the fight.
There was no mention of it again. Neither was there any further mention of counselling.
Helena didn’t have the strength to bring it up.
She couldn’t face the battle, sure by now that she would never win.
Determined not to give in, she stuck to her guns and helped Margery choose a mattress, telling Noah about their trip into town, confident after his overreaction that he would choose to ignore it.
As the days passed, she tried her best to put the argument to the back of her mind, to focus on the positives in their relationship.
The easiest way to do this was to remind herself of the dire dating scene she had experienced before Noah, as well as her only previous long-term relationship.
Her ex-boyfriend, Dan, had been an absolute disaster, completely wrong for her in every way.
Looking back, she couldn’t believe her self-esteem had been so low that she had settled for him.
She had been so unpopular as a teenager.
Scarred for life by discovering she had been voted least likely to get laid in an unofficial yearbook that had been circulated in the corridors, no doubt thanks to the winning formula of teen acne and headgear.
After that, she had thought herself lucky to be pursued by anyone at all.
Dan had never paid for anything, he lacked any discernible ambition or even motivation to leave the house – he could go for days without so much as going for a walk, just binge watching TV shows and eating fast food on delivery.
When Helena had checked her bank account one day, she had been shocked at how much lower it was than she expected it to be.
Browsing through her transactions, she had discovered that her card had been used to pay for every single one of the meals he had ordered for weeks, mostly while she was at work.
When she had questioned him about it, he had lied and said that his phone must have automatically saved her details, but she knew she’d never entered them.
He refused to pay her back; he didn’t have the money to even if he had wanted to.
She had broken up with him shortly after, determined not to be used like that again.
A sequence of horrendous dates had ensued in the years between Dan and Noah.
One of the most memorable was with a good looking but extremely dull software engineer called Ravi, who had taken her to an escape room only to find that he was claustrophobic which induced a panic attack.
Another awful date was with a man called Liam, an arrogant barista at a very trendy coffee shop, who had taken her to a cookery class and ended up in A&E after setting his chef’s apron on fire while flambéing a crêpe suzette.
And finally, there had been Ethan, a graphic designer who had drunk way too heavily and got into a fight with a fellow punter at a comedy night.
No one could have had worse luck than Helena.
She reminded herself that everyone had their flaws, and that Noah had many good qualities that outweighed the bad.
As the school year came to an end and with the summer holidays fast approaching, Helena busied herself making plans for day trips and projects to keep Raffy entertained.
She was browsing the internet for ideas when the sound of an approaching car made her look up from her laptop.
Through the trees she glimpsed the navy truck and gold lettering of Benson & Co, the store from which Margery had purchased her mattress.
She grabbed her keys and slipped out of the house to offer a helping hand.
Margery greeted her at the door and together they escorted the delivery men upstairs to the guest bedroom.
‘Shall I help you get it all set up?’ Helena offered after they had disappeared. ‘It’s quite heavy, isn’t it?’
‘I’ll fetch the bedding,’ Margery called, disappearing into the box room next door, scolding one of the dogs who had made a little bed for itself on the futon that lay under the window.
Helena ripped off the plastic covers and hauled the mattress onto the bed. Together they made the bed up, plumping the cushions Margery had chosen to go with the new bedding, delighted with how well the spare room had turned out.
‘This bed belonged to Jeremy’s mother,’ Margery said.
‘It’s beautiful.’ Helena ran her hand over the wrought iron frame.
‘We inherited it after she passed away, along with most of our furniture.’
‘Tell me more about Jeremy,’ Helena said, as they sat a short while later in the kitchen, drinking tea. ‘What was he like?’
Margery smiled fondly, pleased to be asked about one of her favourite subjects.
‘He was quite a character, everybody always said so. He was eccentric, always full of stories, most of which were heavily exaggerated, I must admit.’ Margery sighed happily at the memories.
‘He made me laugh, every single day. I was very lucky to have him. You see there was a time when I wasn’t sure I’d ever end up married.
I hardly ever used to get asked to dance at parties.
There was always someone else next to me who was more glamorous, much prettier than I was… ’
Helena tutted, ‘I’m sure that’s not true.’
‘Oh but it was. It was alright though. I had sort of accepted it. There wasn’t much use in denying it.
I was never classically good looking, like you.
I had a jolly personality, I could hold a conversation, and I had plenty of friends.
I was quite happy with my lot really. And I had my singing.
That was always my true passion,’ Margery smiled sadly, and Helena thought again how hard it must be being unable to do the thing you loved the most.
‘It was my voice, he always used to say, that made him fall in love with me. He said it touched him deep in his core, that it spoke to him in a way he hadn’t known possible. That only a beautiful soul could make a sound like that… Silly really!’ Margery laughed, embarrassed.
‘That’s so romantic.’ Helena sighed. ‘Tell me more…’
Margery paused, as if allowing her memory to unspool time.
‘He was one of the gentlest people, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.
He took such great care of me, never letting me lift a finger unnecessarily.
The perfect gentleman I suppose… he was brought up by his mother to value chivalry over anything else.
He treated me like a princess, which is probably why I was so terribly useless without him.
I was so dependent on him, for everything really.
’ Margery sighed and Helena could see her drag her mind back from the past. ‘But I’m a lot happier now that you’ve helped me get things back in order.
I’m actually quite enjoying keeping it all tidy, now that everything has its place. ’
‘You’ve done a fantastic job, Margery. It still looks wonderful in here.’
‘It’s all down to you my dear.’
‘That’s what friends are for!’ Helena smiled, realising how much she meant it, Margery had become her only real friend.
As she walked back across the path after they’d finished their tea, she couldn’t help but compare Margery’s description of Jeremy with Noah.
It must have been a completely different experience having a partner like that.
She was glad for Margery, she deserved nothing less.
She wondered why she had such different standards for herself.
Surely, she was worthy of the same treatment.
It was no wonder that Margery had found life so difficult to adjust to without Jeremy by her side.
Helena was glad that she seemed so much happier now, and she was pleased that she had been able to help her, no matter what the consequences had been for her own relationship. Margery was worth it.