Chapter Six #2
‘I will fight you!’ Heathcliff announced. Then to Tess’s horror, he went full Hulk. Puffing out his chest, bracing his shoulders and actually ripping his shirt open. ‘I will fight you all!’
‘Mate! You need to calm the fuck down,’ one of them said, patting the air with his hands.
‘Yeah, it’s only a footie game,’ said another.
‘You are base and blackhearted knaves. I will knock you down like kindling …’
‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry,’ Tess said, putting herself between Heathcliff and the suits. She’d been on some excruciating dates in her time, but she’d never had to become a human shield before. ‘He was homeschooled. That, and he experienced quite a lot of early years trauma.’
‘A lot of people are dealing with trauma but that doesn’t give them the right to act like arseholes,’ said another guy.
Quite a good-looking one, though as a rule Tess tended to avoid men who wore shoes without socks.
A sartorial red flag if ever there was one, not to mention that their feet reeked something rotten when the shoes came off.
‘I know,’ Tess said, her voice catching slightly, but no one was paying her any attention as the tattooed barman and a burly colleague had now come over.
‘I knew you were going to be trouble,’ Tatman said as his friend grabbed Heathcliff by his collar. ‘You’re barred for life. I don’t want to see you in here ever again.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ was all Tess could offer again as Heathcliff, struggling and bellowing, was frogmarched to the door.
The barman gave Tess a concerned look. ‘If I were you, I’d wait here until you’re sure he’s gone.’
Tess would have liked nothing more. Preferably with another glass of wine and her body weight in crisps, but Heathcliff was her responsibility. Even though he was a grown man. A grown man who needed to get a proper job, instead of behaving very badly in the name of art and a pay cheque.
‘I’d better go after him,’ she sighed.
‘Well, it’s your funeral.’
At that particular moment in time, Tess would have quite welcomed death’s sweet embrace.
But she shouldered the door open. It had begun to drizzle again and the streets were quieter, so there weren’t that many people around to see Heathcliff making a total show of himself.
He was actually beating his chest and moaning.
‘Enough now!’ Tess said firmly as she caught up with him. She grabbed hold of his sleeve. ‘You’ve gone too far!’
‘Unhand me!’ he growled, shaking Tess loose. ‘You are the most perfidious creature I’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing. Even worse than Linton!’
Tess wasn’t exactly sure what perfidious meant but she knew that it was nothing good. Much like Edward Linton. ‘You’re such a dick!’ she said but she was talking to her own reflection in a shop window as Heathcliff had taken off at full speed. Still shouting into the Soho night.
She tried to run after him, but she hadn’t been to the gym in weeks and lately she’d been focused on strength training rather than cardio.
More opportunity to sit down and scroll through TikToks in between sets.
She was regretting that now as Heathcliff ducked down a side street and by the time Tess had reached the corner, he’d completely disappeared.
Fine! Good riddance! As her mother would say, he was big enough and ugly enough to take care of himself.
She could just go home. What was one more bad date in three years full of bad dates? Except this man had been paid to go on a date with her and still he’d abused her and treated her like a cash dispenser.
She really wished that she’d listened to that grumpy librarian and stayed in the library for her date.
He was another one who’d really committed to the bit too.
All that nonsense about not damaging library property or taking it off the premises.
Well, when Tess was reunited with Heathcliff and took him back to the library, she was going to give that horrible joint head librarian a piece of her mind.
She wouldn’t even have to steel herself for the confrontation. In fact, she’d welcome it …
Actually, Tess never wanted to set foot in the place ever again. Then she remembered that he’d pressed his phone number on her. Something about how if anything went wrong, she must call him.
Really, this whole experience had been an absolute disaster. Tess scrabbled through her bag, discarding receipts, packets of tissues, ancient tampons and five different lip balms, until she retrieved the folded square of paper.
The grumpy man answered on the second ring. ‘Yes?’ he sounded wary. ‘Who is this?’
‘It’s Tess from the Sunday Sentinel. I’ve just wasted two hours of my entire life on your stupid Love Library thing, which, fyi, is never going to work. Where did you even find him?’
‘Perhaps you could put Heathcliff on the phone?’ he suggested sharply, like he had no interest in talking to her.
‘Why are you still pretending that this is real? It’s not, and Heathcliff – by the way I’m mentally making quote marks as I say his name – has done a runner.’
There was a swift intake of breath. ‘He’s done what?’
‘He’s scarpered. Vanished. Disappeared. After tapping me up for four pints, he couldn’t stand to be in the same …’
‘Where are you?’
‘There’s no need to be so snippy. If anyone should be snippy, it’s me.’
‘Where are you?’ he asked again, ice coating every syllable so that Tess couldn’t help but shiver.
‘I’m on the corner of Wardour Street and St Anne’s Court,’ she said somewhat reluctantly. ‘Not for much longer because I’m going home.’
There was a bitten-off groan that sounded a lot like, ‘For fuck’s sake,’ though she hadn’t had Mr Grumpy down as a swearer. ‘Stay where you are,’ he snarled at Tess like she was a disobedient puppy who’d just peed on the carpet. ‘Do not move even a centimetre. I’ll be there in five minutes.’
He finished the call and Tess was going to move. In the direction of Oxford Circus to get a bus home, which was quicker than the tube at this time of night. She’d really try not to cry on the journey but wait until she was indoors.
She could already feel her eyes smarting. She sniffed loudly and blinked.
It was stupid. What had she expected? That he’d be so bowled over by her beauty and charm that he’d stop playing a part and become instantly smitten? Tess wasn’t the sort of woman that men were instantly smitten over. Or even smitten after being in a relationship with her for ten years.
She sniffed again but it was like trying to hold back the tide.
Inevitably, the first tear began its slow descent down her face.