Chapter 16
16
A different kind of energy buzzed throughout the Refine store in Atlanta. Georgia was Angel’s home state and his fans carried that pride. Their love for him was unmistakable as they lined the street and crowded the aisles inside the store. Angel lit up as he spoke to each of his fans, giving them a warm smile and his full attention, but Iris recognized his almost imperceptible air of melancholy. There was a strain in his eyes and his posture was more rigid than usual. After his visit with his parents, she couldn’t blame him if he didn’t feel 100 percent. She hated to see his joy dimmed.
Goodness, his mother . What a piece of work. And the thing she’d said about him wasting his talent? What a hurtful, untrue comment to make. Iris couldn’t imagine ever dismissing Calla that way. Couldn’t Angel’s mom see that he was an amazing person, regardless of what genre of music he sang or if he decided not to wear a shirt in his music videos?
And today was his birthday . The only reason that Iris hadn’t been aware of that important detail was because the wrong birthday was listed on his Wikipedia page. Based on how Angel deliberately hadn’t mentioned a thing to anyone today, she doubted that he cared to fix the online mistake. She felt terrible that his birthday had taken such a stressful turn. And here he was working instead of vacationing on some island or in the South of France.
He’d cheered her up last night when she’d needed it. She wanted to do the same for him. She caught eyes with Bree and beckoned her over.
“What’s up?” Bree asked.
“Today is Angel’s birthday,” Iris whispered. “I think we should do something to celebrate.”
Bree’s eyes popped. “It’s his birthday ? What should we do? Reserve a table at a fancy restaurant? Go to the club again?”
Iris observed Angel’s tired form. “I think we should do something chill. He said he doesn’t like to make a big deal out of his birthday. We should surprise him.” The idea seemed better the more that she thought about it. “A small birthday get-together, with just us and Ray.”
Bree nodded. “What do you need me to do?”
They huddled together to develop their course of action and looped in Ray. Bree would make a reservation at one of Angel’s favorite soul food spots in Atlanta, and Ray would take him to dinner. Meanwhile, Iris and Bree would stay behind and decorate his hotel suite.
When the event finally wrapped up, Ray informed Angel of their last-minute dinner plans. Angel asked Iris and Bree if they wanted to join, but they lied and said that they needed to discuss work. Their group split. Angel and Ray went to the restaurant, while Iris and Bree went to the nearest party-supply store.
The aisles were filled with Fourth of July decorations, which was still weeks away. Iris and Bree hustled through the store, picking up cups and plates and birthday hats and a birthday banner, and Iris realized that they were gathering a colorful hodgepodge of random birthday decorations and their party didn’t have a theme. The lack of uniformity made her skin itch. The parties that she planned for Calla were organized to a T. Calla’s Gracie’s Corner birthday party earlier this year had been the stuff of legend. Iris had hand-drawn Gracie’s face and her cute little hair puffs onto each cupcake. But there wasn’t enough time for something so detailed tonight.
Angel loved music, that much was a guarantee. Iris turned down the entertainment aisle and added a mini karaoke machine to their cart.
Ray gave Iris and Bree the spare key card to Angel’s suite, so they let themselves inside, lugging balloons, bags of decorations, a nondescript vanilla cake and two bottles of champagne from Whole Foods.
“Whoa, this is huge,” Bree whispered. She turned in a slow circle and gazed around at Angel’s suite. “Dominique really pulled out the big guns.”
They were staying at the St. Regis, one of the most expensive hotels that Atlanta had to offer. Angel’s suite was enormous. The living room area had a large, plush, cream-colored couch and a matching armchair that looked big enough to seat two people. Angel’s laptop and his notepad were placed on top of the dark oak desk. A short walkway led to the bedroom area. At a quick glance, Iris saw his king-size bed, covered in a plush, cream duvet.
“You have to see this bathroom,” Bree called.
Iris followed the sound of Bree’s voice. She found her standing in the center of the bathroom, eyes widened in awe. The bathroom had white marble walls and floors. A sparkling white claw-foot tub was positioned in the middle of the room, separating his-and-her vanity sinks.
Iris’s room looked nothing like this. It was nice, of course, but standard. Comfortable and clean. Though she was valued by the company, she didn’t imagine that they’d spend this kind of money on her. And while she made a decent salary, she couldn’t afford a room of this magnitude on her own without breaking the bank. Angel probably stayed in rooms like this every time that he traveled. That was another difference between them.
Not that it mattered.
“Let’s start decorating,” she said.
She and Bree hung decorations in the living room area, along with a Happy Birthday banner on the wall. They blew up balloons with handheld balloon pumps. Soon, Iris’s phone vibrated with a text from Ray.
Walking to the elevator.
“They’re here,” Iris said.
She and Bree slipped on their party hats. As the door opened, they shouted, “Surprise!”
Angel stumbled backward into Ray. He blinked, taking in Iris and Bree and the balloons behind them. He stared at the Happy Birthday banner. A slow smile crept across his face. He opened his arms and hugged Iris and Bree.
“Thank you!” he said, laughing. “Y’all scared the crap out of me!” He spun around to Ray. “Did you know?!”
Ray nodded, laughing as he glanced into the hallway, doing a quick check before closing the door.
“I hope you didn’t eat too much at dinner because we have cake,” Bree said. “And a karaoke machine!” She pointed at the mini speaker and microphone. “If you didn’t already know every song on TLC’s greatest hits album, you’re about to know them now.”
Bree hooked up the karaoke machine, and Ray followed her to help.
Angel stood by Iris and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She felt his body heat radiate through his clothes.
“Thank you,” he whispered in her ear. His cool breath fanned against her neck and she shivered.
“You’re welcome,” she said, attempting to keep her composure. “Happy birthday.”
She placed a party hat on top of his head, and he held her gaze, his face inches from hers until Bree snapped them to attention to sing karaoke.
As promised, Bree performed “Diggin’ On You,” “Creep,” and “Baby-Baby-Baby.” Iris was surprised to learn that Bree could carry a decent tune. Ray sang a couple of Angel’s songs, trying his best to mimic Angel’s choreography, making everyone laugh. Angel blew them all out of the water when he sang “All My Life” by K-Ci & JoJo, reminding Iris that legit singers shouldn’t be allowed to sing karaoke.
But Angel didn’t stick to only ballads. He and Ray performed a duet of Pretty Ricky’s “On the Hotline.” Angel sang all of Pleasure P’s parts, and Ray rapped. Iris was grateful that they’d chosen the edited version, because as Angel danced around in front of them, tossing his denim jacket to the side and slightly raising his shirt, heat prickled across Iris’s skin and crept up her neck. At any minute, she might burst into flames.
As Angel, Ray and Bree switched the mic among them, Iris was content to watch. She hadn’t actually planned to sing when she’d purchased the karaoke machine. She didn’t have the best singing voice and she wasn’t going to let everyone else know that too. But Angel noticed that too much time had passed without her participation. He grasped her hands and pulled her to her feet.
“You’re singing too,” he said.
She shook her head and tried to sit down again. He held the mic out to her and smiled, innocent and sweet like a puppy dog.
“Please,” he said. “It’s my one birthday wish.”
“Sing with her, Angel!” Bree said. “Be her Ja Rule!”
Bree played the instrumental beat to Ashanti and Ja Rule’s “Mesmerize.” Iris hadn’t heard this song in over a decade. Angel burst into laughter and put his hand on Iris’s waist. He spun her around to face the television as the lyrics rolled down the screen. He sang, mocking Ja Rule’s deep, exaggerated voice. When it was her turn to sing Ashanti’s part, Iris’s cheeks flamed.
“Sing, Iris!” Bree called, clapping.
Iris cringed before she began to sing in a low, flat monotone. Angel watched her with pure delight. He danced around her, rapping Ja Rule’s lyrics, not needing to look at the screen. Iris turned in a slow circle, following his movements. He did a little dance with his hips and Iris couldn’t help but laugh.
When Ashanti’s part returned, Iris closed her eyes and tried to stop worrying about how she sounded. They were all just trying to have fun. She didn’t need to be perfect. No one cared that she sang off-key. She almost forgot that, technically, she was working.
She and Angel turned to each other, singing the last of the hook together as the song ended. She was breathless as he reached for her and dipped her in a sudden flourish. She and Angel held hands and bowed, while Bree and Ray cheered. As Angel smiled at her, she was so relieved to see that his melancholy from earlier had vanished.
At two a.m., they sang “Happy Birthday” and ate cake. Ray and Bree killed most of the champagne, so they were laughing uncontrollably as they sucked helium from the balloons and spoke to each other in high-pitched voices.
Iris didn’t want their behavior to lead to a noise complaint for Angel’s room, so she suggested, “Why don’t you two head out? I’ll clean up.”
Bree straightened up immediately. “Are you sure?”
Iris nodded, and Ray and Bree took their chance to leave and presumably hang out some more.
Then it was just Iris and Angel.
Iris gathered the paper plates. Angel took them from her, and their fingers brushed. He didn’t immediately step away.
“Ray told me that tonight was your idea,” he said. “This was really thoughtful of you. Thank you. For real.”
Her heart was stretching and twisting, doubling in size. He was looking at her so intently.
“Of course,” she said, struggling not to feel so affected by his attention. “After what happened earlier, it was the least I could do to turn your birthday around.”
“This is the first birthday party I’ve ever had.”
Iris blinked, stunned. “What? How?”
“I didn’t have any as a kid. When I was old enough to do them myself, I didn’t bother with it. So tonight means a lot to me.”
Moved by his words, Iris stared after him as he tossed the used plates in the trash bin. She realized that she was still wearing her party hat, and she slipped it off and placed it on the desk. She gathered the balloons and popped them as quietly as possible. Angel took down the banner and carefully folded it together. The cleanup process was fairly easy. It took less than ten minutes.
Angel kicked off his Lanvin sneakers and sat on the couch, leaving enough space for her to sit beside him if she wished. She knew that she should return to her own room now. Her presence here was no longer needed. But she leaned against the desk and watched him, stalling.
“Why do you have that look on your face?” he asked.
“What look?”
“Like…you’re in a bakery and you’re staring at a treat that you really want but you promised yourself that you wouldn’t eat it.”
Heat crept up Iris’s neck as her eyes widened. Angel laughed. “I’m joking,” he said.
But they both knew that he wasn’t. Iris was fully aware that the truth of her attraction to him was written all over her face. She should definitely leave now. She pushed up off the desk and cleared her throat.
“What do you like to do for fun?” he asked suddenly.
Iris paused, thrown by the question. “For fun?” she repeated. He nodded. She pictured the plants and flower bushes in her backyard. “I like to garden.”
He leaned back, relaxing more. “What do you like about gardening?”
She moved closer and sat on the other end of the couch. There were at least two feet of space between them. “It’s calming. And it’s rewarding too. There’s something special about watching a plant grow from a seed or seeing flowers bloom again in spring.” She smiled wryly. “I know that must sound very boring.”
“I don’t think it sounds boring at all.” He shifted, facing her. He leaned his elbow against the back of the couch and rested his chin in the palm of his hand.
“What do you like to do for fun?” she asked.
“Chill with my sister and my dog. What’s your favorite color?”
She smirked. “Are we playing twenty questions?”
“Maybe.” He watched her. “Is it black? All your clothes are black.”
“Technically, black is the absence of color, but yes, black is my favorite,” she said. “If we’re going to play, you should know that I don’t play games like a normal person. I’m too competitive. My family banned me from playing anything with them.”
Angel smiled. “How can you be too competitive at twenty questions?”
“By skipping over softballs,” she said. “What’s your biggest fear?”
“Wow.” He laughed. Then he paused and squinted. “I guess my biggest fear is that I’ll never realize my full potential or release the kind of music that I really want to make.”
“What do you mean?” she said, frowning. “What about the music you’re making now?”
“I want to explore a soul R & B sound, but my label wants me to stay in the same lane. I can’t blame them because what I’m doing now is working, but I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t know if my frustration is real or if I should just shut up and be grateful.”
“I think that your frustration is very real. I’d feel the same way.”
“Thank you for the validation.” Then he shook his finger at her, smirking. “That was two questions in a row. Is that the real reason your family doesn’t want you to play with them? Because you cheat?”
Iris sucked in a breath. “I do not cheat. Ever. ”
“Hmm.” Angel rubbed his chin. “What was that kid’s name who you said cheated off you in middle school? Maybe it was really the other way around.”
“Accusations!” Iris said, laughing as she reached out and softly pushed Angel’s shoulder. He laughed too, gently catching her hand in his. Then his expression turned serious.
“Thank you for coming back home with me earlier,” he said.
He was still holding her hand. She felt like her palm was on fire and the heat was spreading up her arm. She didn’t let go.
“Of course. It was nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing,” he said, shaking his head. “I hate that you had to witness my mom talking to me like that, but I’m glad that you came with me. It was pretty remarkable of you to offer, Iris. You’re remarkable.”
She blinked, taken off guard by the directness of his compliment. Her heartbeat picked up its pace.
“I think you’re remarkable too,” she said quietly.
Angel sat forward, watching her with new intensity. His gaze stretched across the space between them, and Iris felt the sizzling spark of their connection, electric and alive. She breathed deeply and tried to calm her rapid pulse. Their hands remained pressed together. This was dangerous . Still, she didn’t move.
When Angel spoke, his tone was low and urgent. “I’m feeling you, Iris. I really am,” he said. “I hope that my honesty doesn’t come across as disrespectful. I just couldn’t go another second without telling you.”
A swarm of butterflies took flight in Iris’s stomach. They spread from her abdomen to each of her limbs. Angel’s admission tugged forcefully at her heartstrings. After Terry, she couldn’t have predicted that she’d feel such an acute attraction to another man. Particularly, a man like Angel. Famous, beautiful, younger. But Angel had woken something in her that she’d worried had disappeared for good.
“Angel, you—I—” she stammered, at a loss for how to respond. She stood and began to pace. Angel watched her, brows inching up his forehead.
“I know maybe you’re not in a place where you want to get involved with anyone right now,” he said. “But—did I upset you? I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m not upset.” She paused in front of him, wringing her hands anxiously. “You must know it would not look very good for the company if I, a senior-level executive, became involved with our brand ambassador. Earlier this year we went through a big controversy after influencers got sick on a brand trip. We’re just now finding our footing again with you and the new skincare line. But aside from that, there are other reasons why something between us wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Angel’s watchful expression didn’t change as he waited for her to explain further.
“Our lives are incredibly different and probably wouldn’t mesh well,” she said. “I have a six-year-old, and our—”
“I know. I love kids.”
“—privacy is important,” she continued, even as her heart melted, realizing he genuinely meant what he said.
“I would never intentionally put you or your daughter in a position where your privacy would be threatened.” He started to reach for her but paused. “Can you sit down?”
Iris nodded, biting her lip as she sat beside him. “The truth is that I am trying to work myself up to dating again, and I think you’re so wonderful, Angel.” She glanced at her lap as a warm flush spread across her cheeks. “In another life, maybe. But in this one, we’re kind of impossible.”
Angel was quiet. She was afraid to look up at him, afraid that she’d renege on everything she’d just said.
“I don’t think we’re impossible ,” he said, after a moment. “But I also think it would be hard to convince you otherwise.”
Iris finally brought her gaze upward and nodded.
They stared at each other in weighted silence. Admitting that they couldn’t go anywhere should have dulled her attraction to him, but it seemed to do only the opposite. The plain truth was that she liked being around him too much. She felt drawn to him, and despite the reasons that they’d never be together, she didn’t want to leave his presence just yet. After their last tour stop tomorrow, she’d probably never see him again. The realization weighed heavily on her. They wouldn’t get another moment like this alone, just the two of them.
Angel was still looking at her, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, like he wanted to say something but was unsure if he should. Her eyes focused on the fullness of his bottom lip.
She wanted to kiss him.
The impractical thought pulsated in her mind. She was usually so clearheaded and firm in her convictions, but Angel jumbled her thoughts and knocked her off-balance. He made her want things that made no sense.
She hadn’t been kissed in years. Years.
Her heartbeat thundered in her ears, pumping blood fiercely through her veins. She felt like her skin was vibrating with the desire to touch him.
Leave now, the logical part of her brain said. Leave before you do something stupid.
She stood abruptly. “I should head back to my room.”
Angel nodded quietly, keeping his eyes on her. “Okay.”
“Good night.” She quickly walked to the door, then spun around when she realized that she’d forgotten her phone. She crashed right into Angel.
“My bad,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders and steadying her. “I was going to walk you to your room.”
“Oh.” She was pressed flush against him. They breathed hard as they stared at each other. He smelled so good. He was so beautiful. He mesmerized her simply by existing.
Silently, he brought his hand up and gently cupped her cheek. His gaze was locked on her face. Her body lit with anticipation. She felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room. He pressed even closer to her, lowering one hand to her waist. She wanted to stay right here like this. She wanted him . She swallowed thickly as her willpower slowly dissolved.
Just once, she promised herself as she stood on tiptoe. Just this once.
Softly, she pressed her lips against his, and Angel sucked in a surprised breath before he began to kiss her back. The kiss was slow, almost questioning, as their mouths grew accustomed to each other. Angel’s lips were warm and smooth. Iris loved the feel of them. Goose bumps spread across her skin, and her heart pounded. He slid both hands down to her waist, gripping gently at her sides. He angled his head, deepening the kiss. He parted her lips with his tongue, and when her tongue met his, she moaned. She felt more than heard Angel’s sharp intake of breath. His mouth tasted sweetly of birthday cake.
Desire ran through her as she looped her arms around Angel’s neck. “The couch,” she said, briefly breaking their kiss.
Angel’s eyes were wild, his lips flushed pink. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” She kissed him again as he walked them back to the couch.
He sat down and pulled her toward him. She drew to him like a magnet, shifting and climbing into his lap, until she was resting her thighs on either side of him. His hands gripped the fabric of her dress at her waist. He kissed her like it was an art, tonguing her down as he lowered his hands, squeezing the bare skin of her thighs.
Warmth pooled between her legs. Angel eased backward, pulling her flush against him, not breaking the kiss. He touched her so reverently, activating all of her senses. She zeroed in on the feel of his lips and hands and could think of nothing else. She began trailing kisses down his neck, first featherlight, then deeper, licking and sucking his skin. He groaned and gripped her ass, pulling her even closer against him. She felt the bulge of his erection through his jeans. Emboldened, she grinded her hips against him as she continued to kiss his neck. Angel placed his hands on either side of her face and lifted her mouth to his again, kissing her with more urgency.
Their movements bordered on frantic as they reached for each other. She wanted to feel more of him, to be skin to skin. She lifted the hem of his shirt and brushed her fingers over his tight lower abdomen. He pulled at the hem of her dress and she raised up, hiking her dress farther up her thighs until it bunched at her waist. He squeezed the soft flesh of her thighs, and she moaned in his mouth, still grinding against him. She was behaving so unlike herself and she could not be bothered to care.
He slid his hands up her stomach and cupped her breasts. The fabric of her dress created an unwanted barrier. Hastily, she unzipped the back of her dress and eased out of her sleeves, shoving the material down to her waist and leaving her breasts covered by only her strapless black bra.
Angel gazed at her and licked his lips, palming her breasts in each hand.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” he whispered.
She’d never heard him curse before until now. He brushed his fingers over her nipples and she sucked in a breath as he pulled down her bra, exposing her breasts fully. He brought her closer and kissed each of her breasts before putting one nipple fully in his mouth and sucking languidly.
“ Angel ,” she murmured, breathless.
He moved to suck her other breast as he slipped his hand between her thighs, brushing his fingers against her opening through her underwear. She felt a new wave of heat pool at her center.
Angel continued to kiss her breasts, and when he slid her panties to the side and sank a finger inside of her, she could only think More, more, more . She ground against his hand, moaning, unable to control herself. She was the only person who had touched herself there in years. He added another finger, moving at a slow, torturous rhythm. She felt wanton as his lips returned to hers, tongues knocking wildly against each other.
“You’re so soft and wet here,” he whispered in his deep, beautiful voice. “I love touching you.”
She couldn’t think straight, couldn’t respond. She felt like she was going to explode.
“Does that feel good?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He increased the pressure of his fingers. Pleasure washed over her, thrumming from the top of her head to the depths of her toes, and she cried out as she came in a swift strong wave. She struggled to catch her breath as Angel eased his hand from beneath her, resting his wet fingers against her thigh. She lay against him and their hearts pounded quickly in tandem. He turned his face toward hers, pressing his lips against her cheek.
In that moment, she existed in pure bliss. Nothing beyond their connection registered.
It wasn’t until her pulse slowed and her thoughts cleared that reality finally settled over her.
Angel was the first man she’d kissed or touched intimately in so long. She’d opened herself up to him and had officially stepped into new territory, which was overwhelming in and of itself. But it was Angel . She’d spent so much time reminding herself of the boundary between them, and within seconds, she’d let that boundary crumble right between her fingers so that she could freely reach out for him and pull him to her.
What had she done?
She eased off him, blushing fiercely as she adjusted her bra and zipped the back of her dress. She stood and brushed her short curls back behind her ears. Her face was burning. Dominique had warned her about this. She’d warned herself about this. How could she get so carried away? She felt no better than a groupie.
“I…well, I should really go this time,” she managed.
Angel stared at her, still dazed. His erection was clear as day. He blinked and sat up straighter. “What?” He frowned as she hurried to slip on her black flats. “Wait, where are you going? You’re leaving? Right now? ”
“We have an early flight.” Her mind was buzzing. It was taking all of her energy to keep her distance and not climb all over him again and rip off both of their clothes.
“Iris…” He stood too, approaching her slowly, like she was a bird in the wild that might take flight at any moment. “I don’t think that what just happened between us is something we can move on from so easily. I know I can’t.”
Iris clasped her hands together and pressed them against her stomach, physically fighting the urge to touch him.
“Angel, please,” she whispered, staring up into his gorgeous face. Her defenses were almost nonexistent. She was begging him to have mercy on her. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Please just…remember the things I told you. The reasons why we can’t do this.”
Angel’s expression was stricken. His hands fell to his sides as he stared at her.
“We could make it work,” he said quietly. “We could at least try .”
She held her breath, blinking. Her heart and her brain were dueling for control. This time, though, she let her brain win.
“We can’t,” she said, trying to sound as resolute as possible.
He opened his mouth then closed it, falling short of saying anything.
She backed away toward the door. “Please don’t tell anyone about what happened between us.”
Angel frowned. “I would never tell anyone.”
“Thank you,” she mumbled, nodding as her hand gripped the doorknob. She forced a weak smile. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
He looked like he wanted to stop her, but instead he said, “Let me walk you down to your room.”
“No, no, I’ll be fine,” she said hastily. “Someone might see you.”
But truthfully, she was afraid of what she’d do once they reached her room. She couldn’t trust herself. Her resolve would disintegrate if they touched each other again.
“Okay,” he said quietly, resigned. “Good night, then.”
“Good night.”
She slipped from his room and speed walked to the elevator. Usually, she relied on her own logic and wisdom to see her through any given situation, but logic had fled her mind tonight. How could she have let her desires overpower her like that? And now her desire for Angel wasn’t something she’d be able to quickly get out of her system. If anything, he’d become only another focus of her single-minded brain. She’d want more of him, but she couldn’t have him. Dominique and the rest of the team could never find out about this. Iris was so ashamed. Yet at the same time, she longed to return to Angel and fall into his arms.
When she got to her room, she took a cold shower. It did nothing to dull the memories of Angel’s hands and lips caressing her body.
She crawled into bed and tossed and turned the entire night.