Chapter 40
Valentine’s Day
I examine myself in the full-length mirror on the back of the door. The green shift dress I discovered in the armoire upon my return is new — to me, at least. It looks lovely, despite the extra weight I’m carrying. Maybe even because of it.
Other Me has excellent taste. Well, she would have.
I go to my tiny bathroom to fix my hair and makeup.
It’s all working, but that doesn’t do much to quell the fluttering in my stomach.
I’ve barely been able to eat today and I’ve been distracted at the radio station all week, ever since he asked me.
Eventually, this morning, I confessed to a curious Abby that a guy I like, the one I went for lunch with in December, invited me to his dinner party tonight. As his date.
That lunch . . . that lunch was something else. And now, a real date.
I had not expected anything, having read the journal Other Josie had left on my laptop.
After my birthday drinks with Suzie, at which I astounded her with my tale of the past year, I stayed up all night, reading everything Other Me went through.
Her trip to the UK that first Christmas and being reunited with David, so joyfully.
Meeting Rob, but finding he was dating another woman, someone called Surin.
Then getting involved with Peter — which was inevitable, I guess, since he had split from Michelle and had been all set to get together with me.
But then, about how Other Josie broke his heart, because she was still in love with her husband.
It was her news about this world’s Rob having a girlfriend that hurt the most. Of course I had thought about coming to find him, if the plan worked and I returned to my old life. It’s not like I stopped loving him.
I hoped with all my heart Other Josie had been reunited with Rob, her true husband, and they were making a go of it, even after everything we’d all been through.
But I wanted my happy ending too. Living in a world with David in it would be enough, but having Rob as well would be perfect.
A new Rob, undamaged by any prior relationship with me.
But Other Josie tried to get to know him, and it didn’t work.
What she didn’t realize, though, was that on the evening of D-Day itself, Rob emailed an invitation for lunch. I came across it when I returned to work at the station.
I went in and acted like nothing had happened, letting Abby and everyone believe I was the same person, just returning from vacation in Australia.
I didn’t even tell them about the latest bike crash.
Sure, I’ve made a few mistakes since I’ve been back and “forgotten” a few key things, including some newer colleagues’ names, but otherwise, with the help of Other Josie’s handover documents, I’ve been able to wing it just fine. It’s the same job, after all.
Plowing through the backlog of work emails, I came across Rob’s invite.
November 30 | 6.17 p.m. | From: B+B Developments
Hi Josie,
Long time no see. I hope you’re doing well.
I thought I’d tell you we have a bunch of new projects coming up and I can give you the exclusive on how we landed a pretty sweet deal on a hotel redevelopment, if you’re interested.
Do you want to catch up over lunch sometime in the next couple of weeks?
My treat. (And just FYI, I’m not with Surin Chan anymore, so I promise no early exits or interruptions!) Let me know how you’re fixed, if you want to meet.
Rob Billing
Holy fuck.
I called him immediately to accept. It was surreal to hear his voice, seemingly happy to talk to me, but also slightly formal — clearly not knowing me very well. Utterly ignorant of the agony I caused him in another life, mere days before.
At lunch, two weeks later, it had been almost impossible to concentrate on what he was saying.
I just wanted to stare at him. This new Rob.
So shiny and clean. Not the tired, drawn Rob I left behind in the other life.
This one had never been hurt by me and had never betrayed his wife with me.
This guy had never even been married. And this guy was so enthused to tell me all about his new development projects and share his life story with me, like we barely knew each other.
I just gazed at him, rapt, across the table.
Then, when he asked me questions about my life, my family, where I was from, he gazed back, his handsome face lit up.
Under that dark beard, he just smiled and smiled.
New and improved Rob 2.0.
I wanted to kiss him afterwards, outside the restaurant, but I remembered it was still just a work lunch and he hardly knew me. Instead, I shook his hand — and then held it as he kissed me, gently, on the cheek.
He hailed me a cab. “I’ll look forward to the article — and hopefully we can meet up again soon.” He waved as I drove off, staring after the cab longer than a regular work acquaintance usually would.
Then in late January, the craziness of Christmas over, he called to invite me to a Valentine’s dinner party at his place.
“It’s at Union House — the west sub-penthouse on the 18th floor.
” He sounded somewhat sheepish. “There’ll be some great people for you to meet, my friends from Halstein & Faust. You said at lunch you wanted Hans to come on your radio show, so this would be perfect.
But,” he added, shyly, “that aside, I would like you to come anyways. As my date.”
* * *
The app on my phone beeps to say my car has arrived. I apply another layer of lip gloss, smooth the green shift dress down over my hips for the hundredth time, and slip on a pair of black heels and my new winter coat.
In the cab, my mind races. I’m returning to the gorgeous home I shared with Rob for a full year. And I have to act as though I’ve never been there before. Plus I have to pretend I’ve never met his friends.
How will I handle it? Will I slip up?
But the scariest thought of all . . . what if it goes well? What if Rob and I start seeing each other again? Can I really have a relationship with a man whose alter-ego’s heart I tore into pieces a couple of months ago?
Will I ever be able to let go of what we were, and just be who we are?
The cab pulls up in the porte-cochère of Union House, and I get out, wobbling on my heels, knees trembling. Ed opens the main door. “Good evening, ma’am.” He smiles with no familiarity. “A guest of Mr. Billing?” I nod, dry-mouthed. “Eighteenth floor, ma’am.”
I ride the elevator, checking my reflection several times. At the double doors of sub-penthouse 1802, I knock, terrified of the life that could be beyond.
But I also wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world right now. Knowing Rob is single and unencumbered, nothing could keep me away.
The door opens and he is filling the door frame, wearing a white shirt and a heart-stopping smile.
“Josie.” He ushers me in, taking my coat. “I’m so happy you came. Here, let me hang this.”
I look around as he hangs my coat in the hidden closet. The picture on the facing wall is a modern red abstract, and the round table is missing from the foyer. It’s clear the place has been decorated by him, without my input. But it’s still stunning.
“You want to meet everybody?”
I turn to him and pull in a breath. “Absolutely.”
Rob leads me into the living area, pausing at the top of the steps.
Seated around a modern glass dining table, pouring wine and laughing, are Hans, Mike, Josh and his boyfriend, Austin.
They fall quiet as they turn to look up at us.
Their lovely, familiar faces smile at me with no trace of recognition.
Still, they are full of warmth and welcome.
Rob places his hand on my back, where the green dress meets skin, and gently encourages me forward, down the steps.
“Everyone,” he announces. “This is Josie.”
THE END