February, six years ago #2
“Well, I mean . . . I would love something like that, sure. A great idea in theory. But in practice, for Amber . . . do you think she’d definitely be up for an outdoor winter festival?
I mean, it would be very pretty, and look great on Instagram, but also very cold and snowy, and she’d need to have the right kind of warm gear.
And you’d have to stay somewhere . . . you know. Really nice. Fancy.”
Bonnie was nodding into her ice cream sundae, crunching on a triangular wafer.
“Millie’s right. Plus, Amber’s not really the kind of woman who likes surprises, is she?
Didn’t you surprise her with a night at the Ritz-Carlton, and spend a frickin’ fortune on the room, and she insisted on switching to a better one because there were, like, ten things wrong with the room you booked? ”
Ben turned abruptly towards his sister. “What the hell is this? Rag on Amber night? She’s my partner, Bon, we live together. I know you’re never going to be best buds, but you could be a bit kinder.”
Bonnie stuck the rest of her wafer defiantly into her melting scoop of vanilla.
“Partner? Gimme a break,” she replied, with no small amount of scorn.
“You may live with her, but she’s no partner to you, Ben.
A partner would be someone who cares for you, and supports your dreams. Someone you can actually do stuff with that you both enjoy.
The two of you have zero in common, she doesn’t give a crap about your theater career, and she’s proven herself pretty controlling on more than one occasion.
” Bonnie paused, seeming to make a decision.
“She even suggested to me that you should work at her uncle’s shipping company — like you’re seriously gonna give up the theater to push around paper for a bigger paycheck.
I guarantee, Ben, that if you didn’t have a steal on rent on that awesome apartment, she wouldn’t even be living with you — not unless you joined the corporate rat race.
” She spread her hands. “I’m sorry — I just say it how I see it. ”
“Well, fuck, Bonnie.” Ben stared into his empty coffee mug. “That’s about the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me. Like you’ve always made the greatest decisions about guys.”
I reached my hand across the table. “I think we just both want you to be with someone who deserves you, and appreciates the things that you care about.”
Ben’s gaze lifted to meet mine, a fire glittering in them that I hadn’t seen since the night he saw the texts from Rufus.
“You’re just as bad, Mill,” he said, almost under his breath.
“Talking about being with people who deserve you? The only guys you’ve ever wanted have been assholes, and any good guys who do get close to you, you push away.
Seriously, you’re one to talk. Both of you. ”
He suddenly slid out of the booth and grabbed his wallet from his back pocket, pulling out two twenties, way more than his share of the check, and dropping them on the table. “I can’t listen to this. I gotta go home — I’m out. See you both soon, I guess.”
I reached out for him again, but he shrugged me off. “Ben, don’t. You don’t have to leave like this. We are honestly just looking out for you. And you’re right, we haven’t made great choices, ourselves, either of us.”
Bonnie was sliding out of the booth too, trying to hug her brother. “Yeah, I’m sorry. Please don’t run off. Besides, I’m crashing at your place tonight, remember?”
Ben sighed. “Honestly, Bonnie, I just wanna be alone tonight. You know we’ll keep going over this if you come back to the loft. Let me just head home by myself — you stay at Millie’s, or go home. Mom and Dad are in the city tonight, so they can take you.”
With that, he was gone, pausing only to grab his coat and scarf from the hooks, not even getting them fully on by the time he was out of the door.
Bonnie sat back down. “Well, damn. That was a shitshow.” She widened her eyes at me. “Sorry you got dragged into the middle of that. We’re both really suffering this winter, I think.”
I twisted my mouth, and leaned sideways to see through the plate glass window if Ben was gone. Below the glare of the neon sign hanging in the window, his long coat and jeans were visible. He was pulling on his beanie hat against the cold.
“I feel awful. I’m gonna go after him.” I started to shuffle out of the booth, but Bonnie stopped me with a hand on my arm.
“Let him go, Mill. He wants to be alone, and there’s nothing more we can say.
We’ve both apologized already. Plus he only got mad because he knows we’re right — Amber isn’t the woman for him, and he hasn’t ever really been happy with her.
Let him go mull over what we’ve said. Maybe he’ll finally start coming to those conclusions himself. ”
Ben had moved away, and was now out of sight. There was nothing but a neon glow in the slush on the street outside.
I resumed my place at the table. “I guess you’re right. Okay, so are you staying at my place tonight, then? Both my roommates are home, so I can only offer the couch.”
Bonnie pulled her mouth down in an exaggerated grimace. “That lumpy-ass couch? Christ, no. The last time I slept on that thing I had a backache for a week. No, I can get a ride home with my folks.”