15. Aspen Webb
“Aspen, did you hear me?”
Looking up from her phone, Aspen tugged at her bottom lip from Mahari’s intense glare.
They were sitting in the girls’ room, looking at different paint colors so the painters could get started.
Aspen had been torn between doing pink or purple with the pastel yellow, and Mahari was trying to help her.
Lance had her distracted.
For over a week, he’d been texting her nonstop, pleading his love for her.
While Aspen hadn’t responded, she couldn’t act as if he wasn’t slowly wearing her down.
She wanted to hear him out. Each day, he’d asked her to meet with him so they could talk about everything.
Aspen felt an explanation was owed to her.
The way Lance moved during the last year or so of their relationship didn’t sit well with her. She needed clarification and closure.
“I’m sorry.” Aspen locked her phone and set it to the side. “What did you say?”
Mahari raised a brow. “Who has you distracted?”
“Oh, it was something about work. I let my boss know I’d be going on maternity leave soon, and she was fine with it.”
The half lie slipped through Aspen’s lips so slyly.
Before she read Lance’s text, she did reach out to her boss, so it wasn’t a flat-out lie.
Still, she couldn’t shake the guilt. Slowly, Mahari ran his tongue over his top teeth while studying Aspen.
To get the heat off herself, Aspen stood up and observed the sample colors on the wall.
“I’m thinking the purple. What do you think?”
“Well, if you were listening earlier, you would’ve heard me suggest all three. You can have yellow incorporated in the pink and purple. I think that’ll look good.”
“That is a good idea. It’ll bring a pop to the room.”
“Exactly.” Mahari wrapped his arms around Aspen’s waist and kissed her temple. “What’s been on your mind, Bunny?”
“Why you ask that?”
“I know you. You get a little distant when you’re deep in your thoughts, and you’ve been like this for some time now. I’ve been trying to wait it out and let you tell me on your own, but it’s been bothering me.”
Tilting her head back to rest on Mahari’s shoulder, Aspen deeply inhaled a breath.
She wanted to be honest with Mahari about Lance.
It had never been easy keeping anything from him because he knew her so well.
Telling him the truth meant her conscience would be clear, and Mahari could help her navigate everything.
“It’s Lance,” she blurted before she lost the courage. Behind her, she felt Mahari’s body stiffen. Her heart dropped, feeling Mahari free her. Aspen turned on her heels to see him walk over to the window. “Mahari.”
“What about Lance?”
“He’s been texting me, asking for us to talk.”
“And you want to, huh?”
Aspen didn’t miss the hint of pain and disbelief in Mahari’s tone.
He side-eyed her, waiting for her to answer.
Making her way over to him, Aspen grabbed Mahari’s hand.
The sweatiness of his palms was a clear indicator he was trying to hold it together, but Aspen knew he was nervous about her answer.
Truthfully, she answered, “I do. I feel like he owes me an explanation on everything. I need closure.”
“I can’t say you don’t because you do, but . . .”
“But what?”
Mahari finally faced Aspen, and she wanted to wither from the pain in his eyes. It was as if she’d snatched the joy from his body, exposing her to his insecurities. A knot formed in the pit of her abdomen when Mahari cupped her chin, kissed her lips, and walked away without uttering a word.
“Mahari,” Aspen called out, voice cracking. Never had he walked away from her like that. Usually, they could talk things out, but Aspen was seeing a different side of him. He stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn around. “Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving, Aspen.”
“Why?”
“From what you just told me, you have some things you need to sort out, and I don’t want to stand in your way.”
It felt like Aspen was floating with how quickly she wobbled over to Mahari. The thought of him leaving made her nauseous. She palmed the side of his face and swayed her head. “You’re not in my way. You’re by my side, right?”
“Is that where you want me to be?”
The amount of uncertainty Mahari was exposing had Aspen second-guessing as well, but she shook it off as swiftly as it came.
“I do,” she assured him. “You’ve been by my side through everything. I wouldn’t know how to function without you.”
“But?”
“What do you mean? I didn’t say but.”
“You didn’t, but I know there is one. Keep it all the way real with me, Aspen. Other than closure, what else are you looking for from Lance?”
“Nothing. If you’re thinking I want to give him another chance, I don’t. I’ll admit, I do miss him, but—Mahari!”
For the second time, Mahari had walked away from Aspen, and she wasn’t sure what to think.
He didn’t stop when she called his name, so she had to go after him.
Chasing wasn’t something Aspen was used to, but when it came to Mahari, he was worth every step she took.
Out of breath, Aspen soundlessly thanked God that Mahari didn’t leave.
She was sure he was headed for the door, but instead, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water.
Keeping her distance, Aspen rubbed her belly and waited for him to speak.
The silence killed her. It was uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Aspen mentally cursed herself for admitting she missed Lance, but she was simply being truthful with Mahari. Secrets had gotten them in the situation they were in now, and she refused to allow it to continue.
After what felt like an eternity, Mahari expressed, “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
Mahari may as well have taken a knife to Aspen’s heart and twisted it. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not willing to share you anymore, Aspen. You admitting you miss Lance has me thinking maybe we moved too fast. Maybe we crossed a boundary we never should have. I mean, if you’re not over him . . .”
“That’s not what I said, Mahari. Don’t go putting words in my mouth.”
“But you miss him, right?” Mahari asked for clarification. He crossed one arm and massaged his beard with his free hand, waiting for Aspen to answer.
“Not in the way you’re thinking.”
“Tell me. How can you miss a man who did you the way he did? A man who never showed up for you.”
“Are you trying to throw that in my face?”
“No. Just reminding you of what you said you’re missing.
” Mahari tossed his water bottle into the garbage can and headed for the door.
“If you need closure, get that. I can’t stop you.
There’s a part of me that understands while the other part doesn’t.
Either way, I want you to do what you feel is best for you. ”
The door shut, and Aspen slid to the floor and cried. She wasn’t sure how to feel or what to do. Was it truly that bad for her to want closure? Or for her to miss Lance? She didn’t want it to affect her relationship with Mahari, but it seemed to already be taking effect.
Maybe, just maybe, what she and Mahari started was too wrong to continue. Maybe her truth was telling them to stop while they were ahead.
“Thank you for meeting me, baby,” Lance greeted Aspen, helping her out the back of the car.
Hand in hand, they walked into the secluded restaurant and were immediately seated since Lance rented it out for privacy.
Aspen didn’t speak right away. She was still processing her actions.
Mahari’s words about Lance had been ringing in her mind, but she still found herself needing to know where his mind had been during their relationship.
Clearing his throat, Lance complimented, “You look beautiful, mamas.”
“Thank you.”
“How are the girls?”
Aspen rolled her eyes and picked up the menu. “If you were present, you would know.”
“About that . . . I want to apologize. I know I haven’t been the best man to you or father to them, but I want to do better. I can do better if you give me another chance.”
Lance’s statement irritated Aspen. She threw the menu down and tossed her arms in the air. “What’s the sudden change of heart, Lance? Why now? Why now, when I begged you all these years?”
“Stupidity and selfishness. It took you leaving me to see what I was missing. It took you leaving for me to cherish you and what we had.” Lance reached over and grabbed Aspen’s hand.
“I’ve been going crazy without you. You’ve been plaguing my mind, making it hard for me to concentrate on anything other than getting you back.
I want you to marry me, Aspen. We can go to the courthouse right now and make it happen so when the girls are born, we’ll all have the same last name. ”
A year ago, Aspen would’ve folded. Lance’s words would’ve swooned her right out her panties and into her heart. Aspen was thankful she wasn’t that weak for him anymore. When she said she needed closure, the conversation at hand was exactly what she needed, but she still needed more answers.
“Why did it take me leaving for you to realize, Lance?”
“You know what people say. I didn’t know what I had until you were gone.”
“Be honest with me.”
“I am, mamas.”
“No, for what I’m about to ask you.”
“I’m listening.”
“All those nights, those lonely nights I had in your house, who were you with?”
Lance’s eyes expanded. He released Aspen’s hand and ran his over his waves. “I wasn’t with anyone.”
The way he avoided eye contact told Aspen all she needed to know.
She tugged on her bottom lip, feeling her emotions rising.
Memories of how lonely she felt flooded her mental.
All the tears she’d cried, words she’d expressed, and time she’d spent trying to fix her relationship with Lance were ignored by him.
He couldn’t have cared less, so why should she?
The more Aspen thought about it, the angrier she became. Lance truly had some audacity to think he could sway her into forgiving him so easily again.
Aspen snickered. “You’re lying. You can’t even look me in the eyes and say that.”
“None of that matters, Aspen. All that should matter is us working on making things right and becoming a family. I’m letting you know I’m going to do better by you and our girls. What’s with all the questions?”
“Wouldn’t you want to know if I was out late at night, turning off my location, and ignoring you? Wouldn’t you immediately think the worst if I always chose nursing over you? I mean, you’ve openly flirted with other women in my face, Lance. You think that’s what I want to continue dealing with?”
“Mane.” Lance kissed his teeth. “I’ve changed.”
“And so have I. All this sweet shit you’re trying to lay on me isn’t working.”
“So, it’s like that? You don’t want to make things right for our daughters?”
“Who said they’re yours?” Those words left Aspen’s lips before she could swallow them. If looks could kill, she would’ve been dead on sight from the menacing glare Lance shot at her. She desperately wanted to take it back, but since it was out in the open, there was no need for her to.
Swiping his tongue over his lips, Lance leaned forward with his hands clasped on the table and asked, “What the fuck did you just say to me?”
Not backing down, Aspen said, “You heard me. Who said they’re yours?”
“Who else have you been with?”
“You first.”
The couple stared at one another. On the outside, Aspen was keeping a game face, but on the inside, she was trembling. She couldn’t believe how she was acting, but it felt damn good to her. Lance was getting a taste of his own medicine, and it was oh so sweet to Aspen.
“Quit playing with me, Aspen. Did you really sleep with someone else?”
Aspen crossed her arms. “Did you?”
Lance slamming his hands down on the table made Aspen jump. She scooted back and held her stomach. Her chest heaved up and down as Lance gritted his teeth and released a low, menacing laugh.
“Since you want to be funny, you want me to name the bitches I fucked in our bed or on the road?” Lance spat, and Aspen wanted to smack the spit from his mouth, but she couldn’t even be mad. Since Lance wanted to go low, she was about to go to hell.
“In the bed I fucked your cousin too?”
All the color drained from Lance’s face.
Aspen didn’t have time to move. Lance jumped over the table and started choking her.
They fell to the ground, and he didn’t let up.
Breathing became harder for Aspen with each passing second.
Lance’s screams were inaudible as she started losing consciousness until three men came and lifted him off her.
“You stupid bitch!” Lance bellowed, trying to fight off the men. “You really fucked my cousin?”
Aspen couldn’t formulate words. Her throat still felt constricted, and her heart rapidly thumped in her chest. A few women surrounded her, trying to make sure she was okay, but Aspen still felt like she was about to pass out.
Her ears started to ring as everything around her became blurry. The last thing she remembered was someone screaming to call an ambulance before she succumbed to the darkness.