35. thirty five
thirty five
LYSANDRA
“Oh, he’s so into you!” Camille squealed, jumping in place. Her bouncing caused me to shake along with her as she held firmly onto my arm.
“Hush!” I hissed, scanning the Scottish strollers that passed beside us.
“He likes you, Lys, why can’t you admit that to yourself?” she asked, eyes bright.
We’d been walking around St. Andrews Square. I was in need of a walk to clear my mind.
The last time I’d been able to speak at length with Ezra had been the morning that he apologized to me. I’d been purposefully avoiding him on set since he had kissed me.
Well, kissed my forehead.
It took everything in me not to exclaim like a child whenever I thought about that moment. That action came to him so… naturally. Like he hadn’t even thought twice about it. I didn’t understand what it meant, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.
I would only get my heart broken again. That’s what love did to me.
“Because…” I said, although I couldn’t come up with an excuse for Cami.
“No ‘because’. You need to give him another chance.”
I chuckled. It wasn’t that easy, I wanted to tell her.
“And I know what you’re thinking. Some crap about how it isn’t that easy. Leave all that tortured writer garbage in the past and give yourself the chance to be happy.”
“What makes you think I’m not happy?” I asked.
Camille stopped, then turned to face me.
Her blue eyes always reminded me of his. Her pale skin and her raven-black hair constantly made me recall his features. No matter where I looked, no matter how far I’d go, Ezra was always in the back of my mind. I couldn’t escape him. And I didn’t think I ever would.
Thinking about it that way, at that moment, it didn’t seem so awful.
“I see the way you look at him. Your face lights up whenever he’s around. You try to hide behind your remarks and comments, but there’s always a little twitch at the corner of your lips. Also, let’s not forget that all you do is talk about him. Even when Aldair was still part of the picture.”
“You know that I would never—”
“I know. I’m not accusing you of anything. I wouldn’t ever do that to you. Except when it comes to giving up your chance with the guy that you are completely in love with.”
My gaze wandered to the town that surrounding us.
The cobblestone streets, the golden lamplights, the fresh breeze that flowed through our hair strands, and the large ancient buildings around us.
It was on a night like this that Ezra and me truly connected.
It was in a moment like this one when I knew it was over for me.
That I had fallen in love, and there was nothing that could change that.
“Do you think he still loves me?”
Camille’s lips curved into a deep grin. “Yes, he does.”
“How can I be so sure of that?” I questioned.
I breathed in, the cold air filling my lungs. My fingers trembled just by thinking about how he’d react when I told him the truth.
“Please, have you not seen how that man worships the ground you walk on?”
I chuckled. “Don’t exaggerate.”
She stopped walking, facing me. I knew that one of her many eloquent speeches was about to begin.
“It’s not an exaggeration. You have no idea just how much he truly cares about you. He’s shown you with every action that he still loves you. In fact, I think he loves you more than he did when we were seventeen.”
The wind blew through my hair as I crossed my arms.
“Have you seen his interviews throughout the years?”
“Yes.” I nodded.
“Then you know he’s been mentioning you as his inspiration the whole time. Tell me, when was the last time you saw him with a girl in the media?”
“Well, he could’ve tipped the—”
“No, you know he’s not Zack.”
And I knew it hurt her to say that.
“He was bribed to talk to me. And he continued to accept the money even after we had started dating.”
She sighed. I think she was giving up. At this point, I had ran out of reasons to fight her on the topic.
“And he apologized. He told you the truth in one of the most heartfelt letters known to humankind. He has been paying for his mistake for the past five years. He made this deal with you to have an excuse to be close to you and make your dream come true.”
“I know,” I muttered.
“He deserves a second chance.”
“I thought you were Team Lysandra,” I teased.
Camille beamed. “I am Team Lysandra, but it also requires me to be Team Ezra because he adds on a lot to your happiness.”
“Mmm,” was all I could think of saying.
“You have to test the waters tomorrow,” Camille suggested.
She was right, but I couldn’t continue this conversation or I’d have a nervous breakdown. “Ice cream?”
It was scary to think of opening myself up in that way again. I loved him, I was sure of that much. I was just wary of trusting him again, even though I had seen all of his good deeds to make it up to me. I didn’t have any guarantees that he wouldn’t break my heart again, and I hated that.
“Only you would have the idea for ice cream on a crisp autumn night,” Camille said, giving me a playful glare. Nonetheless, she laughed and followed me as we made our way to the markets.