Chapter Twenty-three – Where Have You Been #3
“I know now that it was really just control. He didn’t care if things were neat or messy, he just wanted to be able to tell me how it was going to be. If I liked something, he hated it. If I wanted something, he refused it. It was all about the power he had over me.
“I changed the locks on my studio in Idaho, but things kept happening. I was afraid to go home, and Ben let me sleep at his house, staying on the couch while insisting I take the bed. He never once pushed me to make our friendship more, even though I knew he liked me. He was…such a good guy.”
My throat closed, and my chest ached thinking of Ben’s sweet smile.
“And then, one day at work, the police came to see me. Ben had been in a car accident, and he hadn’t made it.”
A tortured sob escaped.
“I didn’t think it was related to me at first. The cops were sure it was an accident—he’d slid off the road on black ice.
But the day of his funeral, the same lady who’d called me in the hospital in Clover Lake called again.
The same detached, horrible voice.” I shivered.
“And she told me Ben had died because I was a disloyal whore who hadn’t kept my promises.
That I’d sworn ‘till death do us part’ and then spread my legs for another man.
I tried to deny it. Ben and I hadn’t had sex, but she wouldn’t listen.
She told me she’d see me burn in hell before she let me break those vows again.
She said if I wanted to live, I had to return the money I’d stolen and remember, for the rest of my pitiful life, that I was married in the eyes of God.
That Eddie’s death didn’t end the vow I’d made.
That I was his forever… It was what Eddie had always said. I was his for eternity.”
“Fuck that,” Cooper said. “He broke any promise you made the moment he hit you. Love and protect. That’s the vow, Andie. From the moment he laid a hand on you, you never belonged to that asshole. You hear me?”
His words hit me hard. For so long, I’d wondered if when I died, I’d be drawn to Eddie’s soul by some invisible string.
A tether. A leash… And then I’d convinced myself that God would never be that cruel, not even to someone who’d sinned.
Cooper’s words seemed to unlock that fear, sending it sailing away.
I wasn’t Eddie’s. I’d never really been his.
“I kept telling the woman I didn’t have the money, but she didn’t believe me any more than she believed Ben and I weren’t sleeping together.
” I shook my head. “So, I called Dawson, and he rescued me again. We were even more careful this time, going deeper into the black market to get my new identity. He was concerned when I told him about the job at the Harrington Ranch. He was afraid it was too close to where it had all started, but I felt it was perfect because of that. Whoever Eddie owed the money to would hardly expect me to come back to California, right?”
Cooper ran a hand along my cheek. “Right.”
“I’ve been so careful. I didn’t even have a lease in my name while staying at the ranch. I was careful to keep my photograph out of any social media posts, and even the picture they have of me for the staff page of our website is a shadowy profile.
“I had a scare the March before Fallon returned to the ranch. The guy who eventually kidnapped her…he hit on me in the bar and wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Kevin and his wife got me out of there… It took me days to relax again, and once Fallon came home and things started happening at the ranch with the cows being brutalized and the cabin burning down…
I thought it might be because of me, but none of my stuff was messed with, and when the shots came, they were always directed at Fallon…
Still, I’d been about to tell her the truth, about to run, when it all came to a head, and Parker and his teammates ended it.
None of what happened had anything to do with me.
“I was relieved. And I felt like a jerk for feeling that way…for being glad I hadn’t caused more grief and pain.”
“You shouldn’t feel like a jerk. You lived a nightmare, baby. A fucking nightmare. It’s okay to not want to experience more.”
Tears trailed down my cheeks, and Cooper slowly wiped at them with a thumb.
“I’m a criminal, Cooper. I broke the law, knowingly. I stole from good people. And to this day…I still don’t know if I killed Eddie. I’ve blocked it all out.”
He stared at me for a long time before speaking, slow and steady and firm, as if he wanted me to hear the truth in every word.
“Do you know what I see when I look at you?” I didn’t respond, and he continued, “A kid who survived neglect and verbal abuse. A barely legal young woman who survived violence and cruelty by whatever means necessary. A woman who defended herself and was smart enough to know when to reach out for help. A beautiful phoenix who has forged a life for herself out of the ashes.”
I sniffled, trying to stem the tears, and he pulled me to him, wrapping me tight and holding on to me as if he thought I’d vanish.
“Thank you for trusting me,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “I swear on everything I hold holy, I will not let you down. That you will be safe here. With me. With my family. We will end this for you, once and for all.”