Chapter Twenty-five – War Paint #3
The moment realization hit, his eyes narrowed, and he stopped rubbing my arms, grabbing my hand instead and squeezing gently. “I’m not going to end up like Ben.”
My heart thudded so hard and so loud in my chest I thought it might break through the skin and bone.
“Take the key, Andie. Come home to me.”
“I shouldn’t have told you anything. I shouldn’t have spent the night. It was selfish, Cooper. I won’t be responsible for you or Luca getting hurt because I took what I wasn’t supposed to have and tried to make it mine.”
“If you hadn’t told me the truth and still started something with me, that would have been selfish.
I’m not going into this with my eyes closed.
I won’t be caught off guard. I won’t tell Luca everything, but I’ll tell him enough that he’ll keep his eyes open too.
My kid is smart, aware. He sees too much. ”
Hadn’t I thought the same thing about Luca? That he saw more than a kid his age should?
“There are days I already hate myself. If something happened to either of you…” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“I’m asking you to trust me. To trust that I can look after myself and my son while also looking after you.
I realize that trust is a big ask for you.
I understand why. But you do not need to walk away from me to keep us safe.
You walk away now, and the hole in my life, in Luca’s life, that you were just starting to heal, will be torn wide open again.
It isn’t selfish to stay, Andie. It’s selfish to push us away. ”
I didn’t know how to respond to that pretty little speech. I was still so torn. Torn between what I wanted and fear of what might happen.
“Baby, you don’t come home to me, and all I’m going to do is worry.
Worry about you. Worry about us. Come home to me.
” He thrust the key out again. “Come home and let me wrap my arms around you. Don’t walk away before we’ve given ourselves a chance to explore all the possibilities dangling in front of us. ”
My heart hammered. My pulse raced.
It was absolutely impossible not to love him. I didn’t understand how he could still look at me as if I was something special, even after he’d heard all of my worst moments. How he could still want me in his life when there was a good chance I’d bring evil to his door.
But I wanted so desperately to take the branch he held out.
In many ways, he was right—a good portion of my reluctance was about trust.
Did I trust that this man could not only care about me but also protect me and Luca and himself? Did I believe the badge on his chest could do something other than destroy, like the one my father had worn?
When I didn’t take the key, Cooper grabbed my arm and tugged me closer. His thumb found the scar on my chin and slowly caressed it.
“We’re more than our scars, Andie. It’s time for you to stop running and time for me to stop pushing people away.
You reached out to Dawson for help when you needed it before.
I’m asking you to allow me to help you right now.
Allow me to show you what real love looks like.
But, more than that, I’m asking you to help me and my son catch a glimpse of the family we’ve been missing. ”
I’d thought Eden was an idiot for throwing away a man like Cooper. He deserved someone in his life who wouldn’t make the same mistake. Who would repeatedly choose him over anything and anyone else. Someone who could love him as deeply and unabashedly as he loved others.
It terrified me to take the risk.
It required a bravery he already thought I had, but I’d always felt I was missing.
I stepped closer, easing between his legs to kiss him. A long, slow kiss that became a promise. A vow fueled by the heady rush of emotions I felt for him and the situation and the possibilities that swirled around us.
When I eased back, that great big smile I adored had returned to his face, and I knew I’d made the right choice.
I was still worried. I was still afraid of the risk, but this gamble, the promise of reward not just for me but for Cooper and Luca, was just too great not to attempt.
I could give them the love Eden had denied them, if only I was given the chance to do so.
“You keep kissing me like that, and I’m going to find ways to stop by the ranch every day just to get another taste.”
I rubbed my thumb over his lips, wiping off the lipstick I’d reapplied after woofing down half of the grilled cheese sandwich Francois had left in my office. The chef knew I never stopped on a wedding day, and yet he still made sure I was fed.
Much too late, I realized how many people I had looking out for me in this new life I’d built.
People like Francois and other members of the staff, Fallon and her family, Maisey and Beckett.
People who truly cared. I already had dozens of people who were at risk because of the danger I’d brought with me.
I didn’t want to run again. I didn’t want to walk away from this. From any of it.
So I just had to trust that Cooper could do what he promised and that we’d find a way to end this once and for all.