Chapter Forty-two – Wi$hLi$t
Chapter Forty-two
Andie
WI$HLI$T
Performed by Taylor Swift
My surprise at finding Dawson on the Wylees’ doorstep turned briefly to concern over how everyone would get along, but it didn’t last. Whatever I’d expected, it wasn’t this easy blending of two families who should have felt like strangers.
Lydia insisted on making breakfast for everyone, refused to hear a single protest, and pulled out pans and ingredients as if feeding a house full of people was nothing out of the ordinary.
While she and Dale cooked, the teens shrugged back into their coats and dragged the dogs outside to finish the snow family Luca and I had started.
Their laughter carried in every time the door opened, followed by bursts of cold air that only made the warmth inside feel stronger.
It should have felt chaotic, too many people in too small a space, but it didn’t. It felt…right.
Over breakfast, when it became clear Dawson and his family didn’t have a place to stay, Cooper offered up his home, brushing aside Violet’s protests.
There was room for three of us to stay with his parents, leaving his house for them.
Cooper made it sound as if it were the simplest solution in the world, as if making space for my brother’s family didn’t require a second thought.
And all I could do was love him more for it.
And after more convincing, Dawson and Violet agreed to stay for Thanksgiving. For the first time since I was a little girl, I’d have my brother with me for the holiday.
After getting the reprieve I’d gotten yesterday, after knowing I’d have a chance at keeping the Wylees, getting this extra bit of goodness felt like getting a genie granting me a fourth wish.
When Dawson told me he planned to go see Dad, as much as I didn’t want to, I insisted on going with him.
I wouldn’t let him face my parents alone.
Neither Violet nor Cooper seemed thrilled we were doing this without them, but they also didn’t argue.
Maybe they understood that Dawson and I needed to do this for our relationship even more than the one with our father.
So, after heading back to Cooper’s for a change of clothes, we left Cooper and Luca to get Violet and the kids settled while Dawson and I drove to Fresno.
Belinda and Dad’s campaign manager were in the waiting room. My mother looked exactly the same as when I’d seen her ten years ago. Red hair perfectly styled. Face unlined. Body carefully sculpted in a designer suit.
But when she glared at me, somehow, it didn’t slice through me as it once had. She had no power over me now, but it didn’t mean she wouldn’t try.
As if hearing my thoughts, she shrieked, “This is your fault! Why couldn’t you stay dead!”
Her voice was loud enough that several nurses at the station just outside the room glanced in our direction.
“Belinda,” Dad’s campaign manager warned.
“Don’t Belinda me, Jonathan. That girl has always been good for nothing. I want her gone by the time I get back from the cafeteria.”
She stormed out of the room, brushing past Dawson as if he wasn’t even there.
Jonathan awkwardly straightened before asking, “How bad is it going to get?”
“He hid a murder weapon for nearly ten years and likely used stolen money to fund his election,” Dawson answered. “I’d say it’s going to get pretty ugly.”
The man blanched, put his phone to his ear, and strode out of the waiting room.
A few minutes later, a nurse led us into the intensive care unit.
A doctor was there, examining our father, who was on a respirator, covered pretty much from head to toe in bandages.
Nothing remained of the angry man who’d offered me nothing but disgust and disappointment when he’d shown up at the ranch.
“We’ve done what we can at the moment,” the doctor said when we asked how he was doing. “He isn’t breathing on his own, and I’m not sure that will change. Your mother didn’t seem to know what his wishes would be in a situation like this. Do either of you?”
“Neither of us have talked to him in nearly ten years,” Dawson told him honestly. “Unfortunately, it’s going to be up to Belinda to decide what to do.”
The doctor hesitated but then nodded and left the room.
I stared at the shell of our father, unsure what to feel.
For so long, all I’d wanted was this man’s love, but I would have settled for respect and approval.
And then I’d been desperate for an extended hand, help that never came.
And still, for years, I’d let worries about what would happen to him if the truth came out about me weigh me down.
Even yesterday, I’d felt horror and guilt knowing his accident had been a direct result of coming to see me.
But the truth was, Dad’s life choices were the reason he was here, in this bed, with his good name disappearing with his last breaths. He’d used my nightmare to further his political career instead of rescuing his daughter from hell.
He didn’t deserve my guilt any more than he deserved my love.
I didn’t have tears left for him. I’d already given him too many. Still, when I turned and walked out of the room, my chest was heavy.
Dawson followed me, neither of us saying a word as we made our way back to his SUV, and that heavy silence stayed with us for a while as we headed back toward Swift Rivers.
But with each mile that took me farther from my parents and closer to the people I actually loved and who loved me in return, the pressure in my chest eased.
“What happened isn’t your fault,” Dawson said.
“I know,” I told him. When he looked as if he didn’t believe me, I continued, “He came to protect himself, and his bad choices caught up to him. I wouldn’t have wished this on him, but I refuse to take responsibility for it.”
We were quiet again for a long moment before I asked, “Did he ever tell you he loved you?”
Dawson glanced over at me and back. “No.”
It didn’t surprise me, but at least it was reassuring to know I wasn’t alone.
Dawson’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.
“But I had my mom, and she loved me. Even though she was flighty and careless, she still said the words. And I have my brother, who has never stopped telling me he loves me. If I hadn’t had Truck, if I hadn’t gone to live with him in Connecticut, I would never have met Vi.
And if I hadn’t met her, I would never have wanted to straighten my life out.
I would never have wanted to be a better human being. She’s the reason I’m the man I am now.”
My heart clenched in both sadness and happiness for him.
Dawson reached over, grabbed my hand, and squeezed.
“My life with Vi…with the kids… I was absorbed in it, and I allowed it to take precedence over you. I failed you in a lot of ways. I didn’t force you to meet with the FBI, even when I knew Nolan couldn’t be dirty.
I didn’t force you to take more of the money I offered you when I had plenty to give.
But worst of all, I failed you by not telling you I loved you, when I do.
I love you, and I’m so proud of you, for the strength you had in trying to get away from Dick to begin with, and then the strength you showed in trying to do the right thing when your life went off the rails.
Your resilience, your fight…it’s a damn inspiration. ”
Tears I thought I’d finished shedding popped right back up.
“I love you too,” I breathed out. “And I’m so lucky to have you in my life.
I don’t know how I would have gotten through the last ten years without you.
You have nothing to feel guilty about, Dawson.
You gave me control over my life, let me be the one to decide what happened, and that was what I needed most after Eddie.
Thank you for letting me decide my own fate. ”
“You would have made it with or without me because that’s who you are—a kick-ass survivor.”
We were just about to Swift Rivers when his phone pinged with an incoming text. It was from Violet, saying she and the kids were walking into town for pizza.
“You want to come with us?” he asked.
I was torn. Spending time with Dawson and his family was a gift, something I’d wanted for years now, but I was also yearning to get back to my family. The one I’d made on my own.
He chuckled at my obvious hesitation.
“I’ll drop you back at the Wylees’, and I guess we’ll see you on Thanksgiving since Lydia wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“She’s really good people.”
“Seems like they all are. I’m glad you have them, but from now on, we see each other more, okay?”
When he pulled into the Wylees’ yard, Cooper was on the porch, arms resting on the rail, staring our way. He stood up, tipping a cowboy hat I’d never seen on him before. My heart skittered and jumped, joy leaching back in over this serious moment.
I reached for the handle, and Dawson stopped me. “Love you, little sis.”
I felt the love all the way down to the very marrow of my being.
“I love you too, big brother.”
“See you Thursday.”
I jumped out, waved, and then ran at full speed for the man waiting for me on the porch.
Cooper smiled that large smile that lit him up from the inside out.
It felt as if I soared up the steps on unseen wings, and when I got to the top, he caught me, spun me around, and then planted his mouth on mine in a kiss that proved once again, I was his and he was mine.
Dawson’s horn honked as if in encouragement.
I gave myself over to this new life, full of more love and more dreams than I’d ever thought possible.
When we finally broke our kiss, I reached up and tapped Cooper’s hat. “I like this on you.”
“Got a thing for cowboys, do you?”
“I’ve got a thing for one, and only one, cowboy sheriff, his skateboarding teenager, and a furry behemoth.”
His grin widened. “I wanted to take you out tonight to a nice restaurant, but Mom invited Violet and the kids back over for dessert and games. She’d likely disown me if we left.”