Chapter 8
I’m standing in front of our apartment when I realize I don’t remember the walk back.
You’d think I’d notice sidewalks, or opening the security doors, or, really, anything from the forty-five minutes it takes to walk from the school to our cheap apartment. Especially since I was shirtless the entire time.
I don’t.
I open the front door and step into silence.
“Colten?” I ask, kicking the door shut behind me and flicking on the lights. His car was at the school, so he should’ve gotten back ages ago.
Nothing.
Which—fine. He could be out. He’s allowed to have a life. I’m not some clingy—whatever. We might be best friends, but I know he has other friends.
I drop my bag, toe off my shoes, and wait, but still nothing.
The silence stretches weirdly, like it’s got teeth. I feel like it’s chewing on me.
“Fine,” I mutter, glaring at Colten’s door. I’m not going to be as nice as before. He promised he wouldn’t ignore me again, so I won’t let him.
I head for the shower because at least that’s something I can control. Water on, brain off. The grime from the evaluation finally comes off, but I can’t get rid of the tension in my shoulders or the nausea still making my gut clench.
By the time I’m done, I’ve somehow managed to get soap in both eyes and forget to shampoo. Efficient.
I pull on clean clothes, towel-dry my hair into its usual frizzy disaster, and step back into the hallway.
It’s still quiet.
“Okay, this is stupid,” I say, louder than before, like Colten might finally answer back.
I stop in front of his door and try the handle. It’s locked, of course.
I knock, nothing. I knock again, harder. Still…nothing.
I stare at the doorknob for a second before glancing down the hallway toward my own room.
Biting my lip, I look back at his door.
“Colten? I’m going to picklock your door,” I say loudly. He still doesn’t respond.
Huffing, I run and grab the little lockpicking kit he gifted me from my room.
“If I can just explain it better, he’ll realize I’m right,” I mutter to myself as I feel the inner mechanisms twist with my metal.
The lock clicks open in about ten seconds. I’m very good at this after doing it so many times. At least with Colten’s door.
I push the door open, my jaw set with determination. “Colten, we need to—”
He’s not there.
The room is empty, his bed is made, and the lights are off. That stupid plant he refuses to admit is dying is still somehow alive on the windowsill.
A stack of old books sits on his otherwise tidy desk. I frown and step closer. Those definitely weren't here the last time I picked his lock.
Several of the books lie open, pages marked by sticky notes covered in Colten's neat handwriting. They all seem to be about magic. One of the books is even handwritten, though I can't tell if it's in another language or if the author just has absolutely terrible handwriting.
Was he still looking for a way to get rid of the spell? Why bother?
…Does he want me to stop being attracted to him?
My stomach twists, nausea coming right back from when Colten left earlier.
Then I notice a piece of paper on his bed.
I frown, stepping away from the magic books. The paper is folded, with my name on it in Colten’s handwriting.
Patrick.
I swallow hard and pick it up.
I need some space. I’m going to my mom’s.
Also, stop picking my lock.
—Colten
I stare at it.
Then I flip it over, then flip it upright again, before holding it up to the light from his window to see if I missed an invisible message or something.
I didn’t.
My chest is tight, while my throat feels like it’s being squeezed from the inside.
I grab my phone and call him. It goes straight to voicemail.
“Colten,” I start while pacing, “Funny joke, very funny. You can come back now.”
I hang up, wait a few seconds, then call again.
Voicemail. I call again. Voicemail again.
“Are you kidding me?” I snap after the beep, running a hand through my damp hair. “You don’t get to just leave! We’re adults, and we should talk this out like adults!”
I stop, breathing hard, glaring at the posters on his wall as if Cristiano Ronaldo personally offended me. The voicemail tells me it’s full and I can’t leave anymore messages.
“This is all Elias’ fault,” I realize aloud.
If Elias hadn’t done his weird soulmate spell thing, I wouldn’t have kissed Colten, and Colten wouldn’t be hiding at his mom’s house like he hates me or something.
I grab my apartment keys and head to the door. It’ll be an easy fix; I just need to find Elias and make him undo it.
I yank the door open—
And stop, because I have no idea where Elias lives.
I stand there for a second, lost.
Colten is the one who plans. He’s one who always knows what to do. He's been my guiding light ever since that fateful header we collided on.
He was the one who helped me adjust to living in the city from my tiny farming town. He showed me how the transit system works, kept me from getting screwed over by others, and always patiently explained anything I didn't understand.
He made a place that felt impossibly big seem manageable. He made it seem like a home.
I thought he was the coolest person I'd ever met, what with the piercings he carefully protects during games, the long hair I get to help him dye black, and his quiet confidence.
Honestly, I still think he’s the coolest person I’ve met. He’s also my only best friend.
And he’s gone, again.
My eyes burn, and I quickly blink it away.
Now, he apparently hates me and has left, even though I still can’t understand why.
This is all because of that stupid spell!
“Okay, new plan,” I say, nodding to myself. “I’ll just…find Elias.”
How hard can it be? He took the bus that one time, so he might live off campus, but he obviously goes to school here. If I run around and ask enough people, someone should know where he lives.
I take one step out the door, ready to run around campus even though it’s dark, before remembering that Julian is now weirdly romantic with the other Papadakis.
Perfect!
I walk back in and slam the door closed, already dialing Julian.
“Pick up, pick up, pick up—”
“Hey, man,” Julian answers, sounding way too cheerful. “Congrats!”
“Thanks,” I say automatically. “But you already said that about my starting position at the party.”
Julian laughs. “Not that, I meant for you and Colten.”
I blink. “What? Why are you congratulating me for Colten?” I ask, frowning, before shaking my head. “Actually, never mind; that’s what I need to talk to you about—Colten’s gone.”
“What do you mean Colten’s gone?” Julian asks, all the cheer gone.
In the background, I hear Rowan say: “Colten’s gone?”
“Yeah,” I say, pacing beside the door. “He left a note saying he’s at his mom’s, and he won’t answer his phone—look, I need Elias’ address. Right now.”
Julian hesitates. “Why do you need Elias’—”
“Because this is his fault!” I explode. “His stupid soulmate spell made me gay for Colten, and now Colten hates me because I kissed him badly or-or said something, and now I need Elias to undo it.”
There’s silence on the other end, so I keep going because I’m on a roll now.
“And you know what? The superpower we got sucks! Like, what is the point of a horniness-activated glow that only we can see?” I demand. “How is that useful? How does that help anyone? I can’t even use it during a game!”
I’m breathing hard, my chest tight, and my hand gripping the phone like it personally wronged me.
Silence. Then faintly, in the background of the call, Rowan’s voice asks, “Did he say they were glowing? From being…horny?”
Julian clears his throat. “You did the soulmate spell with Elias, huh?”
In the background: “Elias, that idiot! I knew you should’ve let me beat him—!”
“Rowan,” Julian mutters, cutting off Elias’ tirade, before saying to me, “I get it. He did it to Rowan and me too.”
I blink. “Wait, you guys can glow, too?”
“No,” Julian says. “We, uh…couldn’t stop touching each other.”
I pause. “That’s inconvenient. How do you play soccer like that?”
Julian laughs, a little helpless. “Yeah... But the point is that it forced us to actually spend time together, and we realized we really liked each other.”
I frown. “Okay. I’m glad Rowan isn’t holding you hostage—”
“‘Hostage’?!” Rowan yells in the background.
“—but what does that have to do with Colten being gone?” I finish.
Julian sighs. “Patrick…why were you kissing Colten earlier by the equipment shed?”
Heat floods my face so fast I feel light-headed.
“The-the spell made me do it,” I say quickly.
“Sure,” Julian says, very patiently. “And you’ve never thought about kissing Colten before?”
“Of course not,” I say. “He’s my best friend, and best friends don’t do that.” I clear my throat before quickly adding, “And I’m not gay.”
“Oh my god,” Rowan groans somewhere in the distance.
Julian tries again. “Okay, well, have you ever noticed how handsome Colten is?”
“Yes,” I say immediately, because it’s obvious. “Anyone with eyes could.”
I hear Julian sigh. “Well, have you ever wanted to, I don’t know, touch him?”
I open my mouth, then pause.
Because, well.
Every time we have a PT session, he’s wearing a tank that shows off not only his shoulders but also his biceps, and then when he flexes those biceps while helping me stretch…
I can’t help but want to reach out and feel how solid the muscle is. I know what it’ll feel like, I have plenty of my own muscle, but something about Colten’s is very compelling, and I just want to…
And when we wrestle, rolling around in the dirt and grass, there’s almost always this moment where my stomach swoops when he’s on top of me, and I can feel his legs wrapped around me and it’s…
And sometimes his hair slips out of his ponytail and falls in his face, and I have to physically stop myself from reaching out and tucking it back for him…
I blink back to the conversation.
“Well, yeah,” I say. “That’s normal. People touch their best friends all the time. I’m not homophobic.”
There’s a long, pained silence.
Then Rowan can be heard again, muffled: “Give me the phone. Give me—hi, Patrick.”
“Hi,” I say. “Where does Elias live?”