Chapter 12
I tell Colten that I don’t sleep with people unless we date for at least a month, but honestly? I don’t want to sleep with someone unless I believe we’re in it forever.
It’s easier to just say a month, though, when Colten is staring at me like that.
It’s a rule I made before my first-ever date in high school.
My mom had sat me down beforehand, serious in a way she usually wasn’t, and told me not to sleep with anyone unless I could see a future with them, because sex wasn’t just sex; it was a commitment.
It was a choice that could tie you to someone for the rest of your life, no matter how careful you were.
That first date was with a girl from the soccer team. She was pretty, funny, and chewed with her mouth open. Loudly. All while talking the whole time, like it didn’t even occur to her to stop.
I remember sitting there and suddenly seeing it. Every future dinner, every conversation, the same sound, over and over again.
I ended things right there.
As I got older, it stopped being just about the risk of a kid and lifelong commitments.
I saw how people got tangled up in each other, how they gave themselves to someone and came away thinking it meant more than it did.
It was almost like they were owed something, or like they’d lost something they couldn’t get back.
I didn’t want that. Not for me, and not for anyone else.
Colten’s jaw drops, eyes wide and uncomprehending. “You…you really haven’t had sex?”
On some level, it’s a bit rewarding to see Colten so shocked. It takes a lot to surprise my best friend, and it seems like I’ve really gotten the leg up on him this time.
On the other hand, is it really so surprising I wouldn’t want to sleep with someone I don’t care about?
Still, his attention on me is, well, a lot. Especially when he’s still holding me down on the bed and I can feel his dick twitching against my thigh. I’m burning with embarrassment.
“Yeah, so?” I say, rolling my eyes. “I would think you’d understand, given that you’re always saying you don’t do ‘temporary’.”
Colten blinks. “I…didn’t realize.”
“Well, we’ve been best friends for three years, and we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives, so,” I say, daring him to contradict me.
Colten just stares, wordlessly, his hands squeezing and relaxing his grip around my wrists without any sense of rhythm.
“You mean that?” Colten asks, settling on squeezing harder, hard enough to hurt.
I grimace but look him straight in the eyes. “Yes, of course.”
Colten hesitates for a moment more before I can see his resolve settling. It happens in stages, like he’s first shedding the uncertainty, then the confusion, and then, finally, whatever he’s been holding onto about this whole situation.
The glow between us dimmed while we were talking. It’s still there, but only just enough for me to make out Colten's features. I watch as his eyebrows ease from their furrow, and his lips come out from hiding, all shapes and vague colors in the fading light.
Colten looks down at me in the muted light, carefully holding himself like he’s still giving me room to change my mind.
I look back up at him, and my chest fills with warmth in a way that has nothing to do with wanting him to touch me again.
Of course, Colten would be the one I do this with. It just makes sense that it would be him.
I relax into his hold, waiting for him.
And a moment later, I’m rewarded for my patience when he bends back down to kiss me.
It starts out tentative, lips pressing against lips, a tongue gently easing between us as I eagerly respond. He maps out my mouth, careful, almost teasing, as I keep myself still and open for him, despite my blood slowly returning to a boil with need.
My pulse is racing, sweat gathering at my lower back by the time Colten raises his head and looks back down at me.
I wonder what he sees. I know I’m a mess, sweaty and red-faced, but that's nothing new. We've seen each other like that after workouts a hundred times.
But the way Colten looks at me now...
I've never seen that expression on his face while training.
There’s an edge to it, one fully focused on me in a way he never is during practice, even when we’re practicing drills together.
I shudder from the intensity of it.
“You’ll tell me if you don’t want this anymore.” It’s not a question but a demand, that intensity sparking as the light around us glows brighter once more.
How could I not want this? I don’t say.
Instead, I say in a raspy voice, “Yes.”
He dives back down, less cautious this time, catching my bottom lip between his teeth and biting it before his tongue presses back against mine.
With my eyes squeezed shut, I roll my tongue over his own, shivers sparking down my body. He begins a rhythm not unlike fucking, pushing and pulling into my mouth, against my tongue.
My dick, which had finally relaxed, perks right back up, blood rushing to it with a speed that’s embarrassing.
The cotton material of my boxers is already wet from my earlier pre-cum. The fabric sticks to my dick as it presses against the seam of the fly, almost as if trying to get through the opening.
Honestly, if I could get my dick through that opening, or even just out of my boxers, it would probably feel a lot better. But the moment I try to move my hands, Colten simply presses them harder into the bed.
Well, darn.
My hips roll forward in desperate little jerks, trying to move my dick around enough to get it through the hole in my boxers for a little relief while Colten continues to fuck my mouth with his tongue.
Eventually, I somehow succeed, and my dick finally has room to breathe. I let out a moan of relief straight into Colten’s mouth.
Colten leans back, far enough that I can’t chase his mouth even though I stretch my head up toward his. He still has his chest against mine, after all, keeping me pinned.
“C’mon, why’d you stop?” I ask, almost whining as my hips continue to jerk up.
He narrows his eyes at me, eyes flicking over to where his hands still have mine trapped, before looking down at where my dick has escaped its captivity. My hips jerk up again, more desperate this time with his attention on the place I need it the most.
“Hm,” he says. What the heck does that mean??
“Take a picture, it lasts longer,” I grumble.
His gaze flicks back up to me, and I jolt, feeling like maybe I shouldn’t mess around with the guy who can do judo.
“You really are desperate for it…” he mutters, almost more to himself than me, before dropping one of his thighs between my legs and grinding down on my dick.
“A-ah!” I moan, light flaring around us as I finally get some friction, which I immediately need more of.
My hips pick up their desperate movements again, this time honed right against Colten’s thigh. The sweet, curling heat of friction quickly makes me lose control, my chest heaving with mind-melting need.
And then Colten, the mean, mean person he is, takes his leg away.
“No, please, I-I need…” I gasp, my hips trying and failing to find purchase against his body again.
I genuinely try to escape his grasp, to buck him off, but he twists his legs around mine, easily keeping me from getting any true leverage while also keeping my hips horribly untouched.
“Whyyyyy,” I whine, tears gathering in my eyes.
Colten huffs out a laugh, though he hasn’t stopped watching my face for even a moment. I let out a shaky breath, trying once more to throw him off and failing. I was so close!!!
“I thought you were a virgin,” Colten replies, eyes wide with excitement as he watches me almost cry underneath him. “But you really do act like such a slut.”
My hips jolt up again, but Colten’s body holds me tight. A few tears finally escape.
“I’m going to fuck you,” Colten tells me, his voice gravelly and deep.
Which, wow! Okay! My poor dick would cum just from that declaration, if only I had something to rub against.
I blink up at him, breathing hard, my legs squirming fruitlessly against his hold.
“Doesn’t seem like it,” I quietly complain. I’m still loud enough for him to hear as he’s only inches from my face.
“You seem like you’ll come the moment I stick it in you,” Colten says, raising an eyebrow. “You’re too desperate. I guess it makes sense if you’ve never had sex, despite dating all the girls on campus.”
“Not all of them,” I reply, though I don’t correct his first assumption. I’m surprised I didn’t cum on his thigh earlier. “Not everyone wants to date me, you know.”
Colten’s eyes flash at this, his grip on my wrists tightening hard. For some reason my dick twitches hard, leaking a few drops of pre-cum. “Their loss.”
Then, in one smooth move, he brings both of my wrists above my head, holding them there with one hand.
It’s a weaker grip, my wrists too big for him to fully hold…but I don’t even bother trying to escape it.
His now free hand travels down to my face, cradling my jaw as his thumb caresses my bottom lip. The green in his eyes is lost behind black pupils as he stares at my lips, his thumb pressing into the swollen skin.
Then, in a twist I didn’t see coming, he brings his thigh between my legs again, pressing down hard.
“Aaah!” I groan, my hips wasting no time in pressing up against the delicious friction of Colten’s leg. He wore sweatpants to bed, so the slide is coarse and a bit uncomfortable, but I can’t seem to get enough of it.
“I’m still going to fuck you,” he tells me, pulling back my bottom lip before pressing my mouth open. “But I want you to last, so you’re going to cum first. Then I’ll fuck you.”
“A-ahh?” I moan questionably, but it’s hard to think beyond the pleasure sparkling through me and heat building up in my stomach as I hump his leg like a dog.
He’s really going to fuck me?
…Suddenly, I regret never watching gay porn before. How does that even work in real life? As hot as it sounds, I have no idea what to expect.
Yet my asshole clenches at the thought of Colten drilling into me, and my hips thrust up even harder.
Oh well, Colten knows what he’s doing. If he fucks me, I just know it’ll be amazing, like everything else he does.
He gives a small laugh before diving back down to my lips, his tongue picking up with the same rolling rhythm as before, one that I soon find my hips copying.
He speeds up, my hips speed up. He slows down and grinds his tongue against mine? Well, I try not to cry as my hips slowly grind up against his thigh.
Meanwhile, his free hand continues its path down my neck, giving it a small squeeze that makes my thoughts disappear for a moment. Then he raises his chest off mine and drags his hand down to my chest. It shifts his weight down to his legs, which means his thigh presses even harder against my dick.
It also means I can’t thrust up as much, but each tiny movement grinds me right into the now soaked fabric of his sweatpants, the slide almost slick from my pre-cum.
I’m panting as his hand settles on my pecs. I’m not wearing a shirt, so it’s skin on skin, the heel of his palm pressing and rubbing against my nipple as he squeezes the rest of it. I didn’t even realize how squeezable they were.
It hurts, but in a way that makes the heat build up even faster, my thoughts melting away in the onslaught of my boiling blood. The pain is similar to the pain I feel when I train hard.
It’s not a deep ache of soreness, but it is good to feel, translating in the little amount of brain I have left as something to want and to need more of, just like the pain of building muscles.
My entire body jerks under his hold as the heat finally spills over.
My body is covered in enough sweat that the sheets stick to my back as I arch my back and grind my hips up against his thigh, squeezing it between my own legs.
Cum spurts out between our legs, getting on both of us as my orgasm washes over me.
I fall back onto the bed, breathing hard enough you’d think Coach just made me run a hundred laps around the field at a full sprint. My body is buzzing, and my dick twitches as the last few globs of cum escape.
It’s so bright I can’t even see, or maybe my eyes are closed? I can’t tell either way.
All I know is I feel amazing, with Colten’s body still against mine, his warm lips pressing into the hollow of my throat as my bones feel like they’re vibrating in the echoes of my orgasm.
At some point, Colten lets go of my hands. I don’t waste time, firmly wrapping them around his back and keeping him close.
“Good job,” Colten murmurs against my throat, his voice deep and so close to my ear I swear he’s in my head.
I shudder at his words, forcing myself to hold back from any jokes, and instead enjoy the afterglow with him.
Wait. Did he cum?
“You didn’t…?” I can’t quite string together the words to ask if he’s cum or not.
“Cum? No,” he replies, before pulling a bit of my neck into his mouth and sucking on it, hard. I gasp, my chest arching into his hold. He releases the skin, which tingles with his saliva, and then says, “When I do, it’ll be in you, deep enough it’ll stay in for days.”
“A-ah? Oh, that’s, hmm, yeah, okay,” I reply, dazed. Yeah, that sounds great. There’s a vague thought of condoms and bodily functions, but those quickly melt away when Colten’s mouth finds another section of skin to suck on.
With both of his hands free, one trails down my stomach, giving my still-sensitive dick a slight squeeze before gently tucking me back into my now soaked boxers.
He pushes the wet fabric down and off my legs. I ease my hips up with the small amount of energy I have, now fully naked while Colten still wears his shirt and sweatpants.
I can see the outline of his dick through the dark material, bobbing with his movements, and I swallow hard, thinking about how deep it will go inside of me.
I can’t quite tell how big it is, but…it’s definitely bigger than anything else I’ve put up there. Which is to say, nothing.
Colten settles back over me and between my legs. His hand picks up right where he left off, pushing back behind my balls and–and circling my hole. I wheeze.
“You aren’t allowed to forget about this, about how I fuck you,” Colten murmurs, a fingernail dragging over and around my twitching hole, as if waiting for something. “And if there’s something you don’t like, you’ll tell me and we’ll figure out what you do like, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” I reply, not entirely sure what I agreed to. All my thoughts are centered around the careless glide of his finger right where I want him most.
“Good boy,” Colten says, rewarding me by leaning forward and sucking on the skin of my neck again.
I gasp, my hips jerking up against him. I swear I can feel Colten’s smile against my skin.
Forget this? How could I? The idea feels ridiculous.
Colten has always been impossible to forget. He's in every part of my life, in every plan, and in every future I'd ever imagined since meeting him.
Even when he's being a bit of an asshole. Especially then, sometimes.
There's no one else I'd rather be with, asshole and all.