Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Kell
I thought we were getting together tonight, he texted Alissa. The words were part of what felt increasingly like the death rattle of their relationship.
It was seven p.m., and Kell was restless. Eager to spend time with a human being somewhere other than at work, doing something fun. Connection was what he craved.
Back home, there was never a struggle to find something to do or someone to spend time with.
Endless work around Mom and Dad’s house, volunteer projects downtown or at the animal sanctuary, some cousin to help with an addition, every festival ever in town (and there was always a festival), and all the tree work associated with the family business, meant Kell was never idle.
Here in D.C., he loved his desk job, but his body didn’t. It wanted movement, use, engagement.
Three dots appeared.
He played a sad game with himself, guessing her response. It would be either Sorry, more work than expected, or I have to prepare for an early morning job interview, or… well, the ors didn’t matter much when the answer just meant no.
A new text popped up, this one from John.
Hey. Murphy’s for drinks? We’re planning to shoot some pool and celebrate. Jonas got the job at the UN.
The text made Kell grin, genuine happiness for their buddy taking some of the sting out of the very next text he received. It was Alissa:
Sorry! More work than expected. And I’m out for a day next week. Augusta, remember? Gotta prep for that.
Right. She was going to Maine to meet with his Uncle Ted, and he was staying here. Because… business. Boundaries.
Because Alissa said so.
Putting his head in his hands, he blew out a frustrated breath, making a mental note to get another haircut. Urban life and corporate environments–even nonprofits–meant keeping his hair short, and no beard, either. He looked like a completely different person from who he was back home.
Which was exactly how he liked it.
I miss us, he typed back. Not I miss you.
I miss us.
He did. He missed having a girlfriend who spent time with him.
Who talked about shared goals and plans.
They’d only been dating four months, and Alissa hadn’t made any promises, but Kell found her intriguing.
Hard to crack. There was a wall that he’d assumed he’d be allowed to climb over, to become an insider in her world.
But… maybe not. Maybe this was Alissa’s version of a kiss-off.
He needed someone he could talk to about all this. His brother Luke was happily married to Amber, with baby Harriet the joy of their life; his mom and dad were enthralled with their first grandchild. His eldest brother, Dennis, was off in Germany, doing whatever Special Forces guys did.
And no way was he talking about his love life with his sister, Colleen, a nurse at the local hospital. She’d just tease him.
Old friends back home in Luview didn’t understand. None of them had moved away and experienced anything outside of small-town life and relationships. When everyone knows everyone, and you’re related to half the town somehow, the stakes are different.
Kell felt very alone suddenly.
And Alissa’s response didn’t help:
We’re fine.
That was it. We’re fine.
“We’re not fine,” he muttered, his gut tightening at the thought, the words followed by profanity he couldn’t keep in check.
This was the end.
No, she hadn’t broken it off–yet–but this was a bad omen.
Three dots again, then:
Does your uncle have any favorites? I’d like to give him a thank you gift, something small, for meeting with me.
An image of Uncle Ted, his dad’s brother, flashed through Kell’s mind.
Tall like him–like all the Luview men–his uncle had dark, wavy hair, a beer belly, and a thousand-watt smile.
The man was all about protecting his state’s natural resources, but he did it with a local’s touch–and a politician’s pragmatism.
He always liked toasted coconut haystacks, Kell wrote back. It was the first thing that came to mind, and it made him smile.
What are haystacks?
A kind of candy.
Oh. Thanks!
She added three hearts.
The door buzzer surprised him. Plenty of packages got delivered this late, but he hadn’t ordered anything recently. Maybe Mom sent him something?
“Hello?” he answered, pressing the intercom button.
“It’s me. Rachel.”
“Rachel?” He frowned. “Are we watching noir tonight?”
“No. I’m sorry to bother you. And I should have done this at work, but… can I talk to you?”
“Of course. Come on up.” He buzzed her in, then looked around.
Oh, great.
The place was a mess.
Kell, like plenty of young fellows, shared an apartment, a tiny two-bedroom place that was really more like a one bedroom–it had a windowless room that passed for a second bedroom.
That was his room, the cheaper of the two.
His roommate, Deepak, was gone for the next two weeks, interning for a senator who was doing a constituent tour, aka, a fundraising circuit.
Grabbing all the clothes on the floor, he stuffed them into a hamper. Then he looked at the kitchen. It was hopeless. Rachel had come over plenty of times before, but they’d always scheduled their binge-watching nights, and he’d cleaned up in advance.
“Why do I care?” he asked himself as he heard her footsteps outside his door, then the tentative knock.
He opened the door to find a very worried-looking Rachel before him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, automatically joining her in her worry.
“Um…”
“Is someone hurt?”
“What? No! I just…” She let out a long sigh. “I think I’m making a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
“I shouldn’t have come.” Pivoting in the hallway, she turned away, but Kell got to her before she’d taken more than two steps.
“Rachel! You’re being weird. What’s going on?”
“It’s about Alissa.”
“Alissa? I was just texting with her. Is she all right? Did something happen to her?”
“She’s fine.”
He made a huffing sound. “Yeah. I know. That’s what she said.”
“Mm.” Her wordless answer made Kell’s hackles rise.
“Come inside,” he said firmly, placing one hand on her shoulder. “Talk to me.”
“Okay.”
“Whatever you have to say is better than what I’m worried you’re going to say.”
“I don’t know about that.”
Guiding her into his apartment, he gestured at one of the battered recliner chairs in the living room. “Sit.”
“I can’t. I need to pace.”
“Pace?”
“I always need to pace when I’m struggling with something.”
“Right, I’ve seen you do it at work. So pace, and spit it out.”
“Really? Just say it outright?”
“Of course! How else do you say things?”
“Around the edges, very vaguely.”
“Is that an L.A. thing?”
“I guess?”
“Where I’m from, you speak your mind–as long as it’s true–and clear the air.”
Rachel took a deep breath, looked him in the eye, and said, “Alissa is using you to get access to your uncle in the Maine conservation department because she just took a job with MonDex and she’s lying to you.”
Kell’s whole body went numb and angry at the same time, fists clenching.
“What?”
“You said, um, to be blunt.”
“What did you just say?”
“I said–”
“I HEARD YOU!”
“Then why did you ask me what I just said?”
“Because it’s unbelievable! There’s no way Alissa’s using me like that. I’d have noticed!”
Rachel’s eyelids closed slowly, as if she were in pain. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For being the one who had to tell you.”
“Why would you ever think that she’s doing something like that?”
“Because Karen accidentally–or maybe on purpose–bcc’ed me on an email she sent Alissa. It was about a reference for a job she applied for at MonDex. And then I talked to her about it, and she admitted she’s accepting the job, and—”
“WHAT?”
“Would you, um, not yell so loud?”
“I’M ANGRY!”
“I can tell. I’m not used to you being angry.”
“IF YOU SAY STUFF LIKE THIS, GET USED TO IT!”
“WHEN YOU YELL YOU REMIND ME OF MY DAD!” she shouted back, making Kell’s brain explode.
As she backed away, she just watched him, breathing hard but not scared.
“You’re telling me I’m a guy who’s too naive or stupid or clueless to realize I’m being used by Alissa to get access to my uncle? Yes, she’s been working on the Canada-Maine pipeline, but it’s just a coincidence that…” His own words made him wince.
Coincidence.
Right.
“Kell, you’re the last person on Earth I’d ever call stupid or clueless.”
He noticed she left out the naive part.
He grunted, unable to form any words that didn’t involve yelling.
“Look, I am just telling you what I know. And what it looks like.”
“Did Alissa tell you she was…” he hated the next words out of his mouth, “...using me? Sleeping with me to get access to my uncle? Did she say that?”
“No! She never said that. She said she’s taking the job with Big Oil to change the system from within.”
“You talked to her in more detail about all this?”
“Yes.”
That somehow made it all worse.
“I don’t–Rachel, I don’t know what to think about this. Alissa’s been really distant the last couple of weeks.”
“Maybe because she knows she’s doing the wrong thing by selling out.”
Fury filled him. This was too much. Between being brushed off by Alissa, and now learning he might be a dupe, his emotions got the best of him.
“Or maybe she doesn’t like being accused of doing something she didn’t do!” he snapped, knowing he was scrambling to come up with some way none of this was true.
Some way he wasn’t a sucker.
“She absolutely did take the job with MonDex!”
“And she told you why. To change from within. To work inside the system to make a difference.”
“Do you really think that can work?”
“It doesn’t matter. She thinks it can.”
“And you really think it’s a coincidence that she was working on the Canada-Maine pipeline and magically started dating you shortly after?”
“That’s a really crappy thing to say.”
“I thought you said you wanted it blunt.”
“I think you should leave, Rachel. This is too much.”
Stricken, her face drained of color.
“Oh.”
“Alissa is my girlfriend. You’re throwing around some nasty accusations.”
“Kell, I was trying to protect you.”