Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kylie
Five people stared back at Kylie on the video conference call, all of them morphing into the same face, an imaginary frowning emoji.
They were pleasant, so it wasn’t an adversarial environment. Kylie just couldn’t focus.
The position: children’s television production coordinator.
Location: New York City. The downtown studios of KidzdocTV.
And if she could get an offer for an on-site interview, flight and hotel and meals paid for, she could become one of those faces.
In due time.
Her eyes drifted to the new photo on her desk, the only thing she’d added to her apartment since Wendy had left.
A framed picture Luke had taken of her playing with Harriet, both of them dressed as fairies. Harriet’s cheek was equal parts glitter and cupcake frosting, and they were grinning at each other, noses touching.
How could she give that up?
How could she leave Love You for the Big Apple?
Focus, she told herself. This is just practice. Be yourself. They’re interviewing a hundred people. Just have fun with it.
Eyes skittering to the picture again, she laughed slightly, her smile making others on the screen grin.
Manu Jalics, the biggest name in children’s programming, cleared his throat, dark eyes narrowing. “Ms. Hood?” He was impeccably groomed, with hair that was short on the sides, a shock of dark wave floating over one thick eyebrow. When he smiled, he looked like a model.
When he frowned, he looked like her failure.
“Sorry.” She smiled nervously, seconds ticking by as pieces of her fought with each other inside her brain and heart. The longer she delayed giving these faces an answer, the weirder this got–and the less likely she was to be accepted. Recognized. Respected and considered worthy of their job.
Important enough to join their club.
“No problem. We were asking you about your work at Nordicbeth Resorts. Could you go into further detail about how that ties in with children’s television programming?”
“Happy to explain. Let me tell you about the winter fairy camp program I created, and how it increased revenues for Nordicbeth Resorts. The concept was used as a marketing vehicle to increase family reservations,” she said with a burst of confidence that made her relax.
Aha. There she was. That piece of herself that went into a flow state when it came to children’s media and working with kids.
Thinking about how to reach a kid while maintaining the adult perspective.
Meeting children where they needed connection and enriching their lives.
Like she did every day with Harriet now.
As she spoke, several bored interviewers began looking up from their papers at the screen, the slow migration of people on the panel from boredom to interest fueling Kylie’s self-assurance.
Ah, there you are, she thought to herself. Underestimated me, didn’t you?
Big mistake.
Few parts of her life generated this kind of confidence, but anything related to children was a slam dunk. By the time she finished her explanation, every member of the panel was leaning forward, completely engaged.
“It’s not just about entertaining them, or even about educating them. Good children’s programming seeks to do both. Great children’s programming also makes children feel understood and connected to something larger than themselves,” she concluded.
Everyone nodded. Something in Manu’s face made her see she’d hooked him.
Her heart began to speed up.
This was everything she ever wanted.
Right?
Right?
“I like your take on it,” he said. “Can you hold for a moment? Roberta will put you in a waiting room while the team has a moment alone.”
“Of course,” she said, the end of her reply cut off by instant change on her computer monitor as she stared back at herself, alone in the virtual “room.”
They were conferencing about her future.
They were debating her as a pro or a con.
They were deciding her fate.
As each heartbeat pushed blood through her, she fought for clarity, wondering if she should just walk away, half hoping they didn’t ask her to come for an in-person interview.
That would be easier, wouldn’t it? No dilemma. No tension between falling for Luke and disappointing Harriet versus the vast potential New York offered.
She could say she tried and life made the choice for her.
Failure would be a welcome outcome right now.
Bzzzz
Her phone made her jolt, her face reflecting her struggle as she watched herself on the monitor. That was probably Luke again. For the last eighteen and a half hours (but who was counting?) she’d ignored his texts.
This one she indulged in reading, quickly.
Miss you, it said.
Her throat seized with emotion.
At six sharp, she knew, he'd be at her door. The date made her heart flutter, her body flush, and her mind turn to stardust. She was going on a date with Luke Luview, Number 14, Part A be damned.
Tonight was just dinner, but she knew they were leading up to more.
She wanted more.
“Kylie?”
She barely held back a scream as Roberta, the KidzdocTV admin, came on screen.
“Yes?” She flung her phone on the floor like it was a live spider.
“They’re ready for you.” The kind woman with purple hair, who looked to be about fourteen, gave her a sweet smile. “Good luck!”
“Thanks.”
And then back to the panel.
Manu was smiling, too.
Kylie’s heart soared.
But her gut clenched.
“Thank you so much, Kylie. We’re still interviewing candidates, but we’ll be in touch if you make it to the next round.” He licked his lower lip, then tapped a pen on a pad of paper in front of him. “I must say, the fairy camp idea is intriguing.”
“Really?” she squeaked.
“Fairies test well with kids, especially young girls. Lots of merchandising tie-ins, too.”
“Right.” She felt like an idiot not saying more, but this wasn’t the kind of interview back-and-forth she was expecting.
He gave her the kind of polite smile busy executives flash when they’re done with you. “Roberta will be in touch. Have a nice day.”
And… the Zoom call ended.
Whoa.
That wasn’t a yes, wasn’t a no, and as she took a few deep breaths and processed it all, she felt like she’d taken a huge risk and been right.
Exactly right.
How often did that happen to her these days?
Out of an abundance of caution, she hadn’t told Luke about the interview.
Why borrow trouble and complexity? Now she’d had a little practice and knew she needed to work on not being nervous, but she’d made a strong pitch for her skills.
She also knew the chance she’d make it to the next round was infinitesimal.
Whew.
She could breathe again.
“Plus,” she said aloud, “you did it. You got an interview! Resume and cover letter can’t be bad. You’ll find a job eventually.”
You have a job, she thought instantly.
Then her mother’s voice said, Another job that relies on the man you’re dating.
As if she’d been struck, Kylie’s whole body jerked. Oh, no. She hadn’t thought of it that way, but yes–just like Perry. She’d loved him and moved here, her job dependent on his family.
She was doing it again with Luke, wasn’t she?
“What am I doing?” she groaned, wondering if she should have tried harder in the interview, wishing she could get these worries out of her head and just think with more clarity.
Every moment she spent with Luke was more thrilling than the last. As their time together deepened their connection, something grew between them. He was opening up to her more and more, and she was falling for him.
Was this just her pattern? Was she blindly repeating a mistake?
This was a situation that called for reaching out to Wendy, and some good takeout.
You there? she texted Wendy, then moved over to the app for Mountain Dragon for a quick lunch. Some toasted sesame oil and red bean paste wouldn’t solve her problems, but mixed with rice, a nice fried egg, vegetables, and beef, it sure could help.
The drive to Mountain Dragon would be long enough that she might as well leave now, so she did, driving along roads with snow piled knee deep. As winter trudged on, the long January, February, and March of New England still ahead, those piles would grow to her height, and in some years, far above.
Ski season was in full swing. A pang of sadness hit her. Until a few months ago, she assumed she’d be at Nordicbeth, enjoying the slopes, taking time on her days off to use the free lift ticket that came with her old job.
Skiing with the kids, directing photographers and videographers, coming up with fun programming for a high-end family resort was a blast.
Now? Now skiing was something she might do one day with Harriet, after she’d finished her lessons.
But it wasn’t the same.
“No,” she said aloud as she pulled into the parking lot at the Asian restaurant. “It’s better.”
You can’t ski in New York City, a voice in her head reminded her.
It sounded like her mother.
Her stomach fluttered at the thought of actually getting the job. That was about as likely as…
Getting stuck in a charity donation bin.
Ugh.
If KidzdocTV offered her the job, she’d have to make a decision. Until that moment, though, she could keep this to herself.
Why did it feel like lying?
Their date tonight suddenly seemed different. Still eager, still wanting, she felt a sick, twisty sensation in her gut.
Hopefully, the take-out lunch would kill it.
As she got out of the car, she had to laugh, the sound coming out of her making the object of her giggles turn and look.
Colleen Luview.
“Great minds think alike!” Kylie called out as she jogged across the cleared parking lot, catching up to Luke’s sister. “We have to stop meeting like this.”
“No, we don’t. We should meet here more often!” Colleen countered as she rushed inside to escape the bitter cold, the two entering an empty foyer.
“Colleen!” the woman at the hostess stand said, giving her a wave.
“Hey, Eun-ah! Quiet day?”
“Everyone’s in town for Tuba Christmas. They’ll all come in soon.”