Chapter 16 #2
If she’d stayed in Luview and simply tried to divorce him, they’d have had each other’s families directly involved, with her brothers and cousins all weighing in, and his parents and far-flung siblings all expressing opinions.
Cammie evaded all of that by leaving.
And cut Moore to the bone by disappearing.
“I loved being a father. Still do. And I want nothing more than to settle down and be married to my one true love.”
“That’s sappy, Dad.”
Moore shrugged. “Call me sappy.”
“Mom wasn’t your true love. She was someone Grandma and Grandpa forced you to marry when you knocked her up.”
The language patterns made Jordy sound exactly like Cammie. He wondered how many scripts she’d implanted, and how much pain and grief the young man would experience if he ever had the chance to unravel the difference between what his mother had told him and the truth.
“It’s true that Mom and Dad pushed me to marry her. And we were barely dating when your mom got pregnant. But I did love Cammie, Jordy.”
“You did?”
“Yes. I came to love her. She’s a good mother, overall.” That last part was true. Moore wasn’t the kind of person who viewed people as all good or all bad, and even he found the good in her, though as more truths came out about her, he found himself with so much to process.
Some deep wound inside his ex-wife must have driven her to hurt so many people, Jordy most of all. He could despise the pain she’d caused so many people while also recognizing that it was her own demons that drove her to do it.
“She’s–I guess? I don’t know. I mean, I have a place to live. My own room. Nice clothes. She complains you don’t send enough money.”
Moore told him how much he sent every month.
Jordy’s eyes bugged out. “Really?”
Again, new territory. He’d never talked about this with his son before. An antsy, nervous feeling filled his gut, but he persisted.
“Really. And extra for your theater camps, events, all that.”
“Mom says you don’t!”
“I do. Like that Christmas Carol theater workshop you wanted to do last winter. I guess you decided not to go?”
Pain and fury filled Jordy’s eyes.
“You–you sent the money for that?”
“Of course. You asked to go and I sent it to Cammie. Then when I asked you about it, you were really angry and said you decided not to go.”
“I was angry because Mom told me you refused to pay for it!”
“No. Jordy, I sent the $450 to her. It’s not part of regular child support, so it’s not through the courts, but I sent a check. Like I always do.” Moore felt his stomach sinking. “I paid her for it.”
“She–she–sucks! She told me you never sent the money. And then I asked if we could do it anyway and she said she had to save up to fly to Fort Myers to watch Locke do some stupid baseball thing!”
“Did she go to Fort Myers?”
“YES!”
And that was how Moore realized he’d financed his ex-wife’s baseball fun with her soon-to-be husband.
“Wow.”
“I have a lot of words, Dad, and wow isn’t one of them!”
Tell him about that stolen year, Colleen’s voice said, invading his thoughts.
“What else don’t I know? What else has she been keeping from me?” Jordy grabbed his phone, tapped, and started to scroll. “She’s going to pay for this.”
“Hold on there, bud. Don’t call her in anger.”
“But, Dad! She–she–”
Jordy burst into tears, shoulders slumped, phone sliding out of his hand onto the couch. All Moore could do was wrap his gangly teen in his arms and let him sob. Something had cracked open between them.
Truth.
Not all of it, but enough to make a difference.
Enough that they could never go back.
“I really wanted that winter camp! And she told me you refused to send the money. Spent a bunch of time with me on the couch, bingewatching Star Wars shows instead. I mean–Dad, I was mad at you. Really mad. And when you came to visit me last time, I didn’t want to see you because–because–”
“I get it, buddy. I understand now. I’m so sorry this is all going on.”
I’m so sorry your mother is manipulating us both is what Moore wanted to say, but didn’t.
"You know," Jordy began through sniffs, his face pressed against Moore's shoulder.
Another year and he'd be taller, probably stopping at two inches above his old man. Moore hadn't hugged his son like this in years, not since Jordy was ten or eleven, before the attitude kicked into gear.
"Yeah, Jord?"
"What else has Mom been telling me that makes me mad at you and maybe you don't deserve it?"
It felt just like that moment back at the cabin when Moore stood on the edge of a line and had to make the decision to cross it, knowing the consequences were so enormous that it would alter the trajectory of his life.
Here he stood again.
Only this time he stepped back.
"Why don't we focus on calming down and letting what we've learned settle a bit," Moore said diplomatically. "We can talk to your mom later when you're more collected and after she's cooled down from my conversation with her."
"Okay." Jordy's response was small, almost meek. "All these years, Colleen's been telling me that I shouldn't be so mean to you. That you're really a good dad. Underneath, I knew it, but I didn't know how to say the things that I needed to say because of what Mom's been telling me."
"I know, sweetie. I know."
"Did you just call me sweetie, Dad?" Jordy let out a snort as he pulled back, stepping out of the comforting embrace and back into full-blown teenage boy.
"I guess I did," Moore chuckled.
"I'm not a little kid, you know."
The defensive shield was coming back up. Internally, Moore had to acknowledge his relief. They had gotten very close to a part of their relationship that he wasn't quite ready to deal with.
Jordy's phone buzzed and he looked at it. "It's Colleen. She wants to do a campaign."
"Now?" Moore said.
"What? It's only nine o'clock and I don't have school in the morning because there is no school."
"True." Moore's phone buzzed as well.
You guys okay? her text read.
Sure, he replied. Just fine.
Want to play League?
Every nerve in his body felt like a superhero had picked it up and flung it off a cliff one by one until all of him vibrated out of frequency.
I'm good, he replied. You and Jordy have fun.
Is something wrong? she texted back.
No. It's just been a long day. I had a fight with Cammie.
His phone rang instantly.
"You had a fight with Cammie?" Colleen gasped into the phone.
"Yes."
"Did you finally tell Jordy the truth?"
"Not all of it," he said carefully.
"Jordy's in the room, isn't he?"
"Yes."
"What happened?"
"I stood up for myself," he said, struggling to find the right words to describe the situation.
Colleen let out a howl of joy.
"Finally!" she said. "Good for you."
His breath rushed out of him in a mighty wave.
"It doesn't feel good."
"It doesn't?"
"Part of it does, but..."
He kept one eye on Jordy, who was setting up, sitting down in his gaming chair, and throwing his headphones on. He pulled one earphone away from his head and said to Moore, "Don't keep Colleen too long."
"I won't."
Moore took that as permission to leave the room, wandering down the hall to his bedroom. Not that he needed permission, but the emotional aftermath of both of their discussions with Cammie put him on guard.
"What did you say to her?" Colleen asked.
"She started doing her twisted version of events and I called her on it."
"How?"
"She told me that there was no way Jordy was going to move in with me and that his expression of needs about the new school didn't matter. That sort of thing."
"Classic Cammie," Colleen replied. "She hasn't changed one bit."
"No," Moore said with a sigh. "If anything, the claws are sharper now that she's pregnant."
"Did she say any of these things to Jordy?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
"How did Jordy take it, listening to you two fight?"
"Surprisingly well, but then he fell apart. I had to hold him while he cried."
"Oh, Moore."
"Yeah. Not our best day."
"Actually," she responded, "it sounds like a great day. Jordy got to tour the school and enjoy it. He expressed to Cammie what he really wants out of life. You stood up to Cammie. Now it's clear Jordy wants to live here."
"And I'm about to lawyer up. Cammie flung that in my face."
"She doesn't have the kind of power over you that she used to."
"She does," Moore countered. "I still don't want Jordy to know what happened ten years ago. Cammie's stubbornness could get worse if she thinks everyone's against her."
"Everyone is against her," Colleen pointed out. “Because she deserves it. Brought it on herself.”
"But she's still Jordy's mother. I don't want to turn my child against his own mother."
"She's turning herself against him, or him against her. I don't know. It's all getting so confusing," she said, her burst of emotion catching him by surprise.
"Colleen," he said quietly, "are you okay?"
"I'm just tired of hiding. I'm tired of having my life on pause because of other people."
"You mean Jordy."
"I mean Cammie."
"Cammie will be dealt with. I'll hire my lawyer again and we'll bang it out in the courts."
"And if you lose?"
"I'm not going to lose this time. Jordy knows damn well what he wants and I'm here to support that."
"But shouldn't he know the full truth?"
"That's for me to decide. Not you."
Silence swelled in the space.
"Right," she said with a resignation that sounded vaguely ominous. "I don't really have a role in his life, do I?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Moore said. "I never–"
"You didn't have to say it, Moore. I get it. I know why you're waiting and I know why you don't want Jordy to know about what happened in the past, but for the record, I think you're wrong."
"Can we talk about this tomorrow?"
"Sure." But there was something in her voice that sent a spike of fear through him. "We can talk tomorrow. I think it's time we got our priorities straight."
“I’m hungry,” Jordy announced loudly from the other room.
Moore walked back to the kitchen and watched him rummage in the fridge until he pulled out a big bowl of strawberries, finding a fork in the drawer.
One thing Moore had to give Cammie credit for: Jordy ate plenty of junk, but he defaulted to fruits and vegetables in a way that made it clear good habits had been instilled in him.
“Okay,” Moore said into the phone.
“Okay. I’m off to play with Jordy.”
“Thank you.”
She ended the call before he could say more, their exchange unsettling.
“You’re not dating anyone now, right?” Jordy asked out of the blue.
“What?”
“I don’t know how you ever handled being married to Mom.”
“Um…”
“Because like I said, I’m glad you don’t have anyone else here. Locke’s a jerk. Gia was a mess. Hannah was okay except for the tissues, but I don’t want a stepmother.”
“Uh…”
“Women suck.”
“Hey, now. That’s not okay to say.”
“Is it okay to say some women suck?”
“It’s okay to say some people suck. I don’t think being a jerk is limited to a specific gender.”
“Right. Locke’s a big old jerk, too.”
Moore had no idea what to say to that.
Jordy resettled in front of his gaming computer, headphones on.
“But it sure is nice not dealing with someone else here.”
And just like that, Moore was full. Done. Drained.
Between Cammie and Colleen, he was spent.
Yet it was all for Jordy. If he could keep his eye on the prize, he’d be fine.
But at what cost?