Chapter 14
DAKOTA
“Excuse me?” Brenda Baynor-Donovan set her fork on her plate with a clank and raised one perfectly arched brow.
Charles Donovan sat at the head of the table, his handsome face immediately twisting into a scowl.
Shawna Donovan choked on the wine she’d just swallowed and Cade, shooting a frown my way, gently patted his wife’s back.
“We’re married, Mrs. Donovan,” Fabian said and lifted my hand which he’d been holding under the table, high so everyone could see my ring.
Earlier today had been the first time I’d slipped it on after getting dressed, instead of making sure it was inside its pouch in whichever purse I was carrying for the day.
As I stood in his—it would eventually be ours, so I’d better get used to referring to it that way.
As I stood in our bedroom staring at my hand, Fabian stopped dressing to come over and stand in front of me.
He’d taken my hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss the ring, then my fingers, then my palm.
Eventually, his lips found their way to mine and the anxiety that had been stalking me since I opened my eyes this morning had dissipated.
Now that shit was back with a vengeance.
Even with him sitting right beside me, with his hand gripping mine, the weight in the center of my chest threatened to crush me.
“Since when?” Mama kept her gaze on me.
I couldn’t look away and wouldn’t lie while her eyes implored me to tell the truth. “Fifteen months ago.” The words came out faster and stronger than I thought they would. “There was a conference in Vegas. Fabian came with me.”
“My proposal surprised her,” he said lowering my hand.
“Not enough for her to turn you down,” Mama snapped. She was still staring at me, and I felt like I had been stripped of everything that made me hers.
There was no familiarity in her gaze, no warmth, just pain.
“It was my idea to get married before we left Vegas.” This wasn’t going to get any easier, may as well just put it all out there.
And while I knew that Fabian planned to sit here and take the brunt of this secret on his shoulders, I wasn’t going to let him.
I loved him dearly for being ready to take the hit for me, but I created this mess, so I would be the one to sort through it.
“It was also my idea to keep it a secret when we came home.”
“A secret marriage. Is that how we raised you? To make life-changing decisions then run around behind our backs trying to keep us from finding out.” Mama dropped her hands to her lap and sighed.
“Your ring is beautiful,” Shawna said after another sip of wine that thankfully went down smoothly. “Congratulations to you both.” Her smile was genuine as she looked from me to Fury.
“Did you know, Cadence?”
Shit, Mama was using his whole government name.
She was really pissed. My gaze shot to my brother.
He had known for two days now. Had gone to Fabian’s office to confront him.
I only knew Fabian’s very short version of how that went because I hadn’t seen Cade since then.
Of course, he’d called and texted me. I only responded to his texts, answering his questions using as few words as possible.
Cade:WTF Kodi! You’re married to him for real?
Me:Yes.
Cade:And you let him keep you a secret? You know you’re better than that, right? You know you’re too good for him.
Me:I know I love him.
Almost half an hour had passed before he responded again.
Cade:I’ll be at your house when you get off so we can talk.
Me:I won’t be there. I moved in with my husband.
That was Friday afternoon. After he’d left Fabian’s office I surmised when my husband showed up at my job to take me to lunch.
Emily had almost passed out in my office when I told her that I wasn’t only fuckin’ Fabian.
At that point, I hadn’t officially moved out of my house yet, but I knew I wasn’t going back there, not to have a face-to-face with Cade.
This wasn’t how I’d envisioned everyone close to me finding out, but this is how it was playing out, so I had no choice but to go with the flow.
“I didn’t tell anyone,” I said, answering for him. Nobody else was going to carry the weight of my decision. “And if you’re wondering why, the reason is playing out in real-time now.” Waving my free hand around the table, I sighed.
“Look, I apologize for keeping a secret of this magnitude from all of you for so long. But it was my secret to keep.” My heart hammered in my chest, but it was full speed ahead, now or never type of vibe I was floating on at the moment.
It seemed the only way to keep from totally crumbling.
“It was my decision to date Fabian. My decision to accept his proposal. My decision to come back home and keep my life as a Donovan separate from my life as his wife. I won’t apologize for any of that because it was how I needed to handle the situation. ”
I was allowed to do something for myself. To live this life the way I chose. In this past year that’s all I’d thought about. How to balance all the different parts of me. It had taken a long ass time to realize, I didn’t need to balance them at all, I just needed to be.
When nobody immediately responded, I opened my mouth to speak again, but my father held up a hand to stop me.
He pushed his chair back from the table and stood. “I’ll see you in my study, Fury. You too, Cade.”
Beside me, Fabian brought my hand to his lips for a soft kiss. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered and held my gaze until I nodded.
Swallowing hard, I watched as he got up from the table.
Then, glancing across the table, I saw Cade doing the same.
The three most important men in my life were going into another room to talk about me, or rather what I’d done.
A part of me wanted to jump up and demand they all sit their asses back down.
If there was going to be a discussion about my marriage it was damn sure going to include me!
The bigger and perhaps smarter part of me said I needed to sit tight, the storm wasn’t over yet.
“When did I ever give you the impression that you couldn’t be honest with me?” Mama asked the moment it was down to just me, her and Shawna at the table.
Keeping my hands in my lap, I shook my head. “This really isn’t about you, Mama.” The words felt soft, as if I hadn’t really wanted her to hear them but needed to get them out anyway.
“Oh really?”
The shock in her tone told me she had, in fact, heard me.
Inhaling deeply, I settled my gaze on her again.
Brenda Baynor-Donovan was a beautiful woman.
Her silver/gray hair was styled in gentle waves that rested on her shoulders.
The make-up she’d applied to her caramel-hued face was, as always flawless.
A student, then a master of the beauty world, with upscale salons under her ownership in the DMV, she was a class-act.
Rich and successful without her husband’s money or name.
Her and my father’s backstory was the first Black fairytale I ever heard growing up.
I loved how he met her, fell hard, then worked like hell to sweep her off her feet.
That he never asked her to quit her job as a celebrity stylist but accepted whatever time she allotted for them to be together.
That is, until he decided he wanted her for his wife, not just his girlfriend.
And once that ring was on her finger, she became his life, and he became hers.
While maintaining their growing careers and stature in the community, they built and nurtured a family where trust and communication went hand-in-hand with the loyalty that bound the Donovans.
I’d broken that trust, but I had a good reason. I only hoped my mother was ready to hear it.
“I should go check on, Malissa,” Shawna said, easing back from the table.
“I don’t mind if you stay,” I told her. “You’re family and I kept the secret from you as well.”
Shawna and I had grown close since she and Cade were married. I loved her like the sister I never had and appreciated her for bringing my brother out of his darkness.
She shook her head as she stood. “You don’t owe me an apology, or an explanation,” she said. “I understand wanting something for yourself and needing to find your courage to take it.”
I could only stare at her for a few seconds before tears welled in my eyes.
I recalled all she’d been through with her uncle and the man he’d planned for her to marry.
Shawna hadn’t thought she could be with Cade either because her uncle was a gang leader.
But that hadn’t mattered to my brother. He loved her and once he got over himself, he made sure she knew that.
They were happy now and enjoying my niece.
I wanted that type of happiness too. I deserved it.
I mouthed the words “thank you” to her and waited as she left the room.
Mama stood then. She crossed the room wearing a pretty navy-blue sheath dress and black patent leather flats. I watched in silence as she came to a stop at the bay window. The view from there was to the side of the house where, in the distance, a gazebo draped in ivy was located.
“You used to sit out there with your wagon full of dolls and play for hours,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me.
“When I found out I was pregnant with you, I immediately started designing your nursery. I knew you would be a girl, just as I knew you wouldn’t be the pink type of girl,” she continued.
A smile touched my lips, but my heart still ached. I didn’t know how to navigate this conversation, mostly because I’d spent so much time being deathly afraid of having it. Afraid that her disappointment would break me.
“Hunter green, beige and yellow, those were your baby colors. Wen said I was crazy because those colors were more for a boy, but you know I don’t pay her any attention. She has horrible taste in décor which is why Hugo always hires someone to make changes at their house.”