Chapter 11
One Hell of a Morning
Paul
My head pounded and my throat ached for water. Opening my eyes, I found a glassful on the nightstand with a note: Thought you’d be thirsty when you woke up.
I heaved myself up to a sitting position and looked around. I didn’t even remember falling asleep in here. The room was filled with soft morning light, and the sweet scent of vanilla candles was a pleasant change from the sour funk of my bedroom. I rubbed my eyes. Kiki lay curled on the floor, black hair strewn across the carpet, plush dog in her arms.
I groaned. She was sleeping on the freaking ground while I was spread like a sea star on her bed. I gulped down the water and checked the time: 6:40am.
Quietly, I got out of her bed and shook her shoulder. “Kiki, wake up.”
She stirred and mumbled something incoherent.
I smiled apologetically. “Sorry for taking up the whole bed. You ended up on the floor.”
Kiki yawned but her eyes stayed shut. It wasn’t fair of me to steal first her bed and now her sleep. So I swooped her into my arms—she made a gurgling sound but held on to my chest—set her carefully onto the bed and tucked her in under the blanket. She snuggled into the pillow without opening her eyes. She looked so peaceful and content. I let my finger wander over her rosy cheek.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
And then sneaked out to the balcony, down the tree, to my car.
Inside, I let go of my breath. What the fuck had I done?
I crossed my arms over the steering wheel and leaned against them, mind racing with jumbled emotions. I had always respected Kiki as Jon’s girlfriend. Sure, I thought she was pretty, but never in my life did I think we could be more. Which we weren’t... We just happened to connect because we got broken by the same people. Nothing wrong with two friends comforting each other... right?
I plunged the key in the ignition. Except for a weak rumbling sound, the motor didn’t rev up to its usual snore. Had I left the lights on? No.
I tried again. And again. And again. Rumble.
“Fuck!”
I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. A broken-down car—exactly what I needed to add to my list of problems. Cursing under my breath, I decided to leave the car behind and head home on foot. I was still in my sweats—I’d make a jog out of it.
The jog turned into a brisk run as I navigated the familiar streets of Boonville. The same streets Jon and I had explored countless times, searching for parties or places to hang out. The early morning sun fought through the clouds, and I could feel the sweat building on my skin. Today was going to be warmer than usual. Perfect with spring break happening soon. The Fam had talked about a road trip to Gulf Shores, but we hadn’t planned it, so who knew if it was still on. We weren’t hanging out lately, everyone invested in their own situations.
I was crossing at a red light when a black van sped straight at me, almost running me over. Panic surged through me as I realized it was the same van from last night. Some guy with black shades on. Last night wasn’t a coincidence; he was after me. How had he managed to track me down again? Boonville wasn’t huge but it wasn’t tiny either. I picked up the pace and sprinted, heart hammering in my chest.
I jumped over a wall and found myself in the Walmart parking lot. I hustled across the parking lot past folks gearing up to buy next week’s meal prep, darting glances over my shoulder—no black van in sight—and went inside, straight to the aisle with the cold drinks. I grabbed a Dr Pepper and made my way to the cash, mind reeling. A feeling in my gut told me that this chase was far from over.
“Paul!”
The cashier looked oddly familiar, a girl with dark hair and a snake tattoo dancing on her neck. Despite the edgy style, there was a warmth to her expression.
“I’m Natalia. My boyfriend is Dave? We met a few years back. Friends of Jon’s.”
I nodded. Jon had this second friend group he hung out with. I never understood why he kept us so separate. “Sorry, rough morning. How you doing, Natalia?”
Natalia scanned my drink. “Oh, you know, same old. But I made a new friend. You know her: Emily.”
I froze. “My Emily?”
So Emily was friends with Dave and them now. I should’ve figured Jon wouldn’t take her to hang with the Fam while I was in Germany.
“Right...” Natalia gave me an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I forgot you were the other guy.”
“The other guy?” My voice spiked, drawing the attention of the shoppers in line.
“Well, the guy she had a hard time letting go of to be with Jon? It wasn’t easy for her.”
I let out a loud snort. There was a perspective where I was the other guy?!
“I got to go.” Throwing down a bill, I grabbed my drink and strode away. I didn’t want to hear it. The only perspective I wanted to know was Emily’s, and if she didn’t want to talk about it right now, I’d find a way to get her to tell me eventually.
“Hold on, your change!” Natalia called after me, but I was already out the glass doors.
I glanced around for the van as I exited the parking lot, but it seemed I had evaded them. To regain my strength, I decided to walk the rest of the way through the shade of the trees.
Jon’s neighborhood.
I could take a different route, but it would be way longer. He didn’t want to see me? That was his issue, not mine.
I was done waiting for him to call. When I reached his place I strode up to the door and banged my fist against it. My breath hitched as I waited for someone to open, but all was quiet. I tried again but nothing happened.
Annoyed, I turned to leave, tossing my empty Dr Pepper in a trash can on the corner.
Squealing tires right in front of me—the black van!
I jumped back, tripping awkwardly on my injured foot and falling on unforgiving asphalt. As I rolled to get up, a heavy foot pressed down on my back, pinning me to the ground. The air went out of my lungs—I struggled to breathe—a fist slamming into my side—pain sharp and searing.
“The fuck is your problem—”
Another kick to the side of my face, another burst of pain and disorientation. “You’re our problem!” A male voice. I had a sinking feeling I was in more danger than I had figured.
Something hard and cold pressed against my temple—metal. I froze.
I wouldn’t get the chance to talk to Jon—never hold my girl in my arms again.
Over the last few months I had paused my entire life for the slightest chance of getting her back. I stopped going out, stopped having fun, circling around her like a storm undecided about turning into a tornado. Damn, I didn’t even apply to college because of her and the future I had painted for us in my head. Against the black of my squeezed-shut eyelids, all I could see was Emily, her eyes filled with pity.
The metal pressed even harder against my skin. I was tired of this, tired of not feeling safe in my own home.
It was time to reclaim my life.
Gathering my strength, I opened my eyes to fight—
“Leave him the fuck alone!” Jon’s raspy voice cut the air; footsteps rushed over. Suddenly they let go of me. I heard car doors slamming shut, an engine revving.
“Are you okay, dude?” Jon extended his hand.
I got to my feet without his help. “Oh, so now you care about me?” Blood dripped from my face onto the asphalt. I spat out more. The van had already turned the corner.
Jon’s hand dropped. He didn’t offer an immediate response, refusing to make eye contact still. I threw my hands up in the air. “Please tell me you at least got the plate number!”
Jon shook his head. He took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered me one, but I declined. He lit one himself, taking a deep drag, like I hadn’t just been assaulted by someone with a gun.
“You recognize the man who beat the shit out of me?”
“Never seen him before,” Jon mumbled. “You should go see a doctor.” And then turned to walk back to his house.
Oh, hell no, I wouldn’t let him be the one to walk away again. I grabbed him by the shoulder. “You’re a coward, Jon.”
He stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn to face me.
“Don’t you even remember that it was me who found you at Marna’s? Me who held you when you were about to die? Me who called the fucking ambulance?!”
“You called the ambulance?”
Adrenaline coursed through my body. “Fuck, of course I did! I searched the entire town for you and Emily that night, and I found you with Marna all over you.”
He flinched. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
I gritted my teeth. “And let you die? Fuck you, Jon!” I flashed my middle finger and hobbled away, my one leg aching with every step. Those kicks and punches, fuck, they weren’t even half as bad as all these emotions crashing over me. I could’ve been killed...
When I burst through the front door of my home, Mom, Dad, Zack and—Emily—were all lounging on the couch, having coffee and laughing about something Zack had said.
I couldn’t believe it. They were having a damn good time while I was more messed up than I’d ever been. I cleared my throat.
“Hey, honey. We were—” Mom began, but gasped and covered her mouth. Emily mirrored her reaction, clutching her kitten coffee cup in her hand. The same cup I used to bring her every morning. Now all I wanted was to throw it against the wall.
Dad rushed over to me and examined my face. His own was etched with concern. “What happened to you?” He lifted my chin, inspecting the damage from left to right.
“Fuck, bro, you look like the other person won!” Zack cackled.
Dad definitely wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “Don’t tell us you got into a fight again.”
He’d been pissed when I got home from Germany all banged up. But I’d been provoked. I told him what Michael had said about Emily—that she was easy—but he made me promise to never solve my issues with violence again.
“I know!” I slapped his hand away in frustration. His concern was coming too late.
“What on earth were you thinking, Paul?!” he yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders. Emily and Mom were frozen on the couch.
“You think I wanted this?” I pushed him away from me. “Chose to get beat up? Fuck no!”
“Don’t talk to me like that!” he roared. I had never seen him this angry.
“How am I supposed to talk to you then? ’Cause if I talk normally—”
Suddenly I felt lightheaded. The room was spinning around me. I dropped to my knees, trying to hold on to the couch for support, but it wasn’t enough. My knees gave way and I collapsed to the floor.
“Zack, go to your room,” some part of me heard Mom say.
I blinked. Emily was kneeling in front of me. She cupped my cheeks and whispered, “What do you need, Paul?”
I clasped my arms around her to finally get the hug I needed even more desperately than being seen. “I need you,” I breathed in her ear. Emily swallowed but returned the hug.
Everything in me went quiet.
It wasn’t the same anymore.