Chapter 33
Opened Envelope
Kiki
Ihad finished wiping off the last traces of my cherry-red lipstick when a sudden scream echoed from downstairs. I hurried down the steps, dressed in my old pajamas, which I used to adore for their cell biology pattern—nucleus, mitochondria, endoplasmic reticulum, Golgi apparatus...
“Mom, is everything okay?” I asked as I turned the corner into the kitchen.
“Katherine,” she gushed. An open envelope was in her hands, the distinguished Yale seal on it.
“I found it!” My dad emerged from the basement, cradling an old, dusty bottle.
My heart crashed dangerously hard against my sternum. “Why is Dad bringing out my college acceptance champagne?”
With a proud smile, Mom handed me the envelope. “You remember my friend who works at Yale, right? She sent you this. Your official letter is coming in a few days!”
I looked. The torn-open envelope was addressed to me, not her. “You opened my mail?”
Mom waved it off as if it were a trivial matter. “Sorry, hon, I thought you were sleeping. C’mon, read it!”
I was already furious with her for bribing Jon to stay away from me. It was her doing, not Dad’s, I knew. I’d decided against bringing it up so I could finally close that chapter of my life. But now my body betrayed me. I crushed my fist around the envelope. “You already opened it, I can’t!”
“Honey, careful, you’re crumpling the paper!”
“So what?!” I stamped my foot and threw the envelope to the ground. I had dreamed about this moment for years. How it would feel to read the message that I had finally made it. “You fucking took this from me!”
My mom gasped into her cashmere sleeve.
“Katherine, don’t talk to your mother like that?” my father said, his words more a plea than a command. He was a brilliant surgeon, but when it came to human relationships he hid behind my mother. She had trained him to speak exactly how and when she wanted him to.
“I studied for this for twelve years! Can’t you see how messed up this is?” The tears came. Tears of relief or tears of anger, I wasn’t sure.
My mom took a step back, clearly caught off guard. “Look, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said, smoothing down her skirt. “I was excited and I thought I could share the good news with you, that’s all.”
“Share,” I repeated. “You invaded my privacy, Mom! This was supposed to be my moment, my achievement. Not yours!”
Her face softened, and she approached me cautiously. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry. But can’t we still be happy about it together? You’re going to Yale! Your dream!”
“It was your dream, not mine!” I sobbed. “Just like it was your dream to get Jon out of my life by bribing him. Congratulations. You got both.”
I ran out of the kitchen and grabbed my car keys in the entry, ignoring my parents’ calls for me to come back.
I drove aimlessly around town. I had left my phone in my room in my haste so I was clueless about where to go. Anyway, I couldn’t go anywhere in public dressed like I’d gotten into elementary school instead of college. And my friends... they didn’t know how hard I had fought for this. Nobody understood what it meant to me—except for that one person who understood so well, he respected my wishes by staying away.
My brain totally lost its functioning. I went to Paul’s.
I lifted up the garage door and ducked in instead of knocking. I didn’t want to risk seeing her; I only wanted to see him. I stood in the pitch black. It was completely silent, and the smell of dried paint and slime hung in the air. “Ugh.”
I edged my way along the wall—no idea where the light switch could be.
“Ew!” I squealed as I walked into something that felt like a spiderweb. I swiped at it with my fingers, but the more I tried the more it clung to me. I backed away, nearly losing my balance—and an evil laugh rang in my ears.
I screamed in sheer panic and tripped over something. Heavy roped fabric fell over me, keeping me down. I just kept screaming.
The lights turned on. “What’s going on here?!” Paul yelled. I went abruptly silent. A younger boy and a girl exploded with laughter behind him.
I was caught—in a net? Yep, a fishing net. I couldn’t move.
“She got spooked!” Zack crowed amid gales of laughter.
“Who?” Paul shouted. “Emily?”
“No, not Emily,” the girl said, fizzing with hilarity.
I whimpered in my cramped position on the floor. Why did I come here again?
Paul strode over to me, lips tense.
“Hi...” I said, the idiot caught in a net with spider webbing all over her face. Oh, and let’s not forget the nerdy pajamas.
After helping me out of this mess, Paul brought me a tea and we trooped down to the basement to sit on the couch.
“I’m sorry about my little bro and his girlfriend,” he said for what felt like the tenth time now.
“I came into the garage without knocking. They were probably scared too.” I sipped my tea, feeling more ashamed with each sip I took.
“Zack’s never scared,” Paul said with a smile, sounding relieved that I wasn’t mad at him.
“He’s definitely good at what he’s doing. But maybe trapping people who go into his haunted house is a bit too much.”
Paul shook his head. “Kiki, why are you here?”
I put down my cup. “I got into Yale.”
His eyes lit up and he grabbed my hand, lifted me off the couch and twirled me around. “That’s incredible!”
I laughed. Then it truly sank in. I did it: I got into freaking Yale.
As he gently set me down, Paul observed, “You don’t seem happy about it though.”
I tried to neutralize my smile, only to realize that the corners of my mouth were drooping already.
“Kiki, what’s going on?”
A sob erupted from my throat. “I don’t want to go to Yale. It was my parents’ dream, not mine... Princeton accepted me right away. They didn’t make me wait and doubt myself. Princeton is where I belong.”
“Princeton is amazing too,” Paul said, stroking my arm.
“I want to be someone’s first choice, Paul.” He kept watching me patiently, so I wasn’t sure he got my gist. “I can’t wait any longer. I deserve to be the priority.”
He frowned. “You’re incredible, Kiki.”
I nodded. An unspoken conversation had happened between us. He couldn’t give me what I was looking for.
“Okay, I’ll go,” I mumbled. “Out the front door this time.”
“I’ll walk you up,” he agreed.
We silently went up the stairs. With each step I took, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I was going to Princeton. I would show Yale how stupid they were for making me wait.
Paul opened the door for me. I gave him a polite smile and stepped out into the rainy night.
“You’re wanted, Kiki,” he said.
I turned around, shaking my head. “It’s not enough.”
Crossing my arms against the chilly air, I hurried over to my car. The future was uncertain—but it was mine. I would find someone. Someone who wasn’t hung up on their ex, someone who didn’t feel insecure by my side.