Chapter 46
Too Young
Jon
With a gasp, my eyes shot open.
“You didn’t have to slap him, Natalia!” Kiki’s disapproving voice said.
“He wouldn’t wake up,” Natalia said. “And it’s not like I slapped him hard.”
“Yeah, I would’ve slapped him harder,” Danielle said frostily.
I shook my head. “Fuck, why are you all in my bedroom?” I growled, squinting around the room. My favorite person was nowhere in sight. That made me even more pissed.
“Seriously? You have no idea what’s been happening the last few hours?” Natalia said, way too loud. I guess she was friends with Kiki and Danielle now.
“As you can see,” I said pointedly, “I was sleeping.” I rose from the bed and stumbled over to the closet for a shirt. I hadn’t slept so well in days—ever since I put those pills in the drawer.
My eyes widened in recollection. I had flushed them away, flushed those stupid pills—and I’d been ghosting Marna for a week without a solution.
I spun around, fully awake and ready to make Marna’s life hell. “How’s Paul?”
“He’s fine, buying a suit with his parents,” Kiki assured me, and I sighed in relief as I pulled a black T-shirt over my head.
“But Emily isn’t,” Danielle said.
A surge of panic gripped me. “What do you mean, she isn’t fine?”
“No, Danielle misspoke,” Kiki said quickly. “I checked on her, and so did my mom. She’s okay,” she said.
I released a heavy breath. “Fuck, what happened?”
They explained. I paced around the room in a circle, my fingers linked behind my head. This was my fault again. I hadn’t picked up Marna’s calls, and now they were out for blood.
“Fuck, I didn’t want this to happen.” I turned to Kiki. “What did you tell her?”
“Everything,” Danielle interjected, her gaze somewhat less hostile now.
“I told her about Marna blackmailing you,” Kiki clarified.
I instinctively covered my face with my hands. I couldn’t think clearly. This wasn’t how I intended Emily to find out. I wanted to explain it to her myself. “I need to talk to her,” I muttered, and the girls cleared off of my bed. “Thanks for filling me in, I’ll call her now.”
“No way you’re not getting off that easy,” Natalia said, pointing a finger at me. “You kept a huge secret from Emily, Denson. She’s my friend, and if you lie to her, you lie to me too!”
I sighed. “Nat, I didn’t want to get her involved in this shit.”
“So this is the big secret? The reason you ghosted her?” Danielle raised an eyebrow. Kiki stood with her arms crossed by the stairs. She had kept my secret, at least.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to involve her until I figured it out.”
“So, have you... figured it out?” Danielle stuck her hands on her hips.
“Sorta. So, if you could all go, I want to call my girl.”
I gestured toward the stairs. Goosebumps crawled up the back of my neck when I remembered that Emily wasn’t my girl anymore.
They went, Natalia and Danielle looking annoyed, Kiki with her shoulders sloping down. As soon as the door closed I rushed to my phone. Multiple notifications from Marna—including pictures of Emily dress-shopping. In the last one she was collapsed on the ground.
Marna: This is what I achieved just with my words. If you don’t get me what I want, I’m done talking.
I dialed Little German’s digits. I had to hear that she was doing okay. After four rings she answered, her voice hoarse as though she’d just woken. “Hey,” she said shortly.
“Did I wake you up?”
“No...”
“Can I come over? I want to talk to you.”
“I don’t want you to come over.” She sounded pissed—no, even worse, disappointed.
“But—”
“Kiki already told me everything I need to know. I understand why you tried to protect me, but did you consider Paul’s safety for even one second? He could’ve been seriously hurt! I asked you about it and you lied.”
“I never lied,” I said. “I just didn’t say—everything.”
She huffed. “Seriously, Jon? Withholding information is the same as lying. You keep claiming we have no secrets, but you’ve been keeping a massive one all this time.”
I sighed, realizing how right she was. “Please... I have it under control. I did it to protect you and Paul.”
Silence. I couldn’t even hear her breath on the line.
“I beg you, Little German. I never wanted any of this to happen.”
“No,” she said. “You did it for selfish reasons. Not to protect us. To pretend like you had it all under control. If you had wanted to do the right thing, you would’ve asked for help.” She hung up.
I jumped up and paced around the room again, debating what to do. I had recklessly squandered two thousand bucks just because I couldn’t keep my addiction under control. The pile of money I owed them was too much now... Too much for any seventeen-year-old to handle. Emily was right...
I ran my hands over my face. I had no other choice. I couldn’t act like a grownup if I didn’t start taking responsibility.
Climbing the stairs, I found Dad slouched on the couch, sandwich in hand.
“I told them you were sleeping, but wow, that Natalia girl has fire.” He laughed and took a bite. “I made you a sandwich too if you’re hungry.”
“Dad...” I settled into an armchair near the couch. This was my last resort. I couldn’t make amends on my own if the people I loved were in danger. “I need your help.”
Dad set down his sandwich and leaned in, his expression suddenly serious. “My help?”
I hated having to disappoint him yet again.
“I love you, Dad. I wish I was the son you could be proud of—successful, with a clean record. Not this mess who’s barely scraping through high school with a drug addiction.” A tear caught me by surprise, rolling down my cheek.
Dad gazed at me evenly, waiting for me to finish. It was one of the things I appreciated about him. Sure, he was lighthearted a lot of the time, but he got serious when he needed to. I preferred that over pity; I needed tough love, not coddling.
I took in another deep breath. And I told him everything.
Dad flinched a few times whenever I dropped another bomb at him, but he didn’t interrupt.
“I need to talk to Humphrey,” I said. “But if I go alone, I’m afraid he won’t believe me. I need your help. I’m worried someone could get hurt.” My shoulders slumped with the weight of my shame.
He got up and offered me his hand. “C’mon. I’ll drive.”
Fuck it. I went up close and hugged him. He held me tight—reassurance I hadn’t felt since I was a little boy.
“I love you, son,” he whispered, and I nodded into his chest. “I love you too, Dad.”