Chapter 3
LYNN
The tingle of Ansel's kiss is still on my lips. I can't believe that happened. Yet it also felt inevitable. There's something about Ansel that makes me feel steadier and excited at the same time.
I'm taking too long to answer, and know that he might see it as being unresponsive.
"Hey, it's all right," he says casually, reaching across the leather bench of the truck to squeeze my hand. "If it's some sort of pretty girl secret, that's fine."
I sit up straighter and take a slow breath. "No, I should tell you."
He turns onto the highway toward Kingsville, then glances over to me, smiling encouragingly. Something clicks, and I know that I can tell him anything.
"I've always been incredibly shy. I've been trying to work on that. The girls at work are unbelievably great – being patient with me, asking me lots of easy questions to get me to chat. It helps when it comes to dealing with customers all day."
Ansel squeezes my hand again. "You've got terrific coworkers."
"When I get really nervous, my body has crazy reactions. But instead of letting that make me even more nervous, lately I've been describing it as something ridiculous, to take the edge off."
As I look over, he's smiling and nodding. "That sounds really healthy."
"Anyway, when you asked me out, it felt like there were squirrels being chased by fire running around in my guts."
His rich laugh rings out through the cab of the truck, as he threads his fingers through mine. "That is amazing." His hand feels so good in mine, but he has to pull it back to pass a row of large trucks.
"So I guess we need to put out the fire, and keep those squirrels safe?"
I smile. "Good idea."
"Honestly, Lynn, when you're feeling shy and quiet, just let me know. Or just don't say anything. I promise I will never be offended."
How can a man I just met already understand me so well?
"And then sometimes, if you're feeling like you want to be a bit more open, you could choose not to be shy with me.
" He flashes me another one of those gorgeous megawatt smiles.
"I want you to be yourself. But I also want you to be comfortable.
So if it helps, don't think that you ever need to be normal or whatever around me.
Just go with the flow." He reaches out to pat my stomach. "Go with your gut."
I've never laughed with a man so much. It's exhilarating.
By the time we get to Kingsville, I've learned that his company is doing so well that he's a little embarrassed to talk about it.
Something about the foundation of his software debugging code being picked up by dozens of other companies for other uses…
I think. I don't really understand it, but from his hesitation, I gather that he's ridiculously wealthy but is too polite to get into it.
I, of all people, am not about to pry.
I also learn that his musical taste is extremely diverse, and activity-specific. Techno music when he's coding. Light jazz when he's doing business work. Classic rock and country while driving.
"I get it," I share. "The one and only time I almost got a speeding ticket, I was listening to AC/DC."
Ansel pulls into a parking lot, grinning from ear to ear. "You're a Problem Child. Doing Dirty Deeds. Only question is, are they Done Dirt Cheap?"
I laugh while he runs around the truck to help me down. It's a pretty big work vehicle, and I appreciate his help, but I know it's more than about manners. He wants the excuse to touch me, to have us close together.
He pauses, brushing his lips across my forehead. "Honestly, you make me feel like a Live Wire, gorgeous."
My mouth opens to make a joke about being High Voltage, then I feel a surge of bravery.
I reach out to stroke his beard, tipping my lips close to his. "I really like the way I feel when I'm around you," I whisper. "It's terrifying, but it also feels…I can't explain it. It feels important, like it's something that is supposed to be happening."
His eyes light up as if I've just given him the greatest gift in the world. Placing my hand over his heart, he smiles warmly. "See? You can tell me anything, gorgeous. And I feel the same way. Like we already know this is meant to be."
His mouth moves toward mine so gradually I barely get nervous. His hands move to my lower back, stroking slowly and gently as we kiss. It's soft and warm and blurry, making me feel like time has stopped.
He pulls away far too soon. "You've been working all day. I need to make sure you're fed. It's part of the official protocol."
"Right. Gotta keep things official."
I look up to see the bright sign of Ray's Diner as we walk in and are transported to a modern version of the fifties.
Ansel takes us directly to a booth in the corner wrapped in teal vinyl.
I love that he wants us to have a little privacy, and also to sit on a bench seat next to each other.
It's innocently romantic, which makes me tingle.
We're barely seated for a minute when a waitress sashays over with menus. Her dark ponytail swishes behind her as her head bobs, bright eyes analyzing us.
"Evening, folks. I'm Claudia, and I'll be your purveyor of food and drink this evening.
Today's special is Scotty's Lasagna, which is weird for a diner if we're keeping with the whole fifties theme.
" Her hand presses to the table as she leans closer conspiratorially.
"But seriously, it's his mom's recipe and it's divine. "
She stands back and looks at me appraisingly. "I'm going to guess…either ginger ale or a cup of tea?"
"Tea, please."
Her gaze swivels to Ansel. "I've seen you have a beer here before, but tonight I'm guessing coffee?"
"Perfect, thanks."
She sashays away again. I have to admire her serving style.
Looking around the diner, I nod appreciatively. "Delicious-smelling food, mellow, relaxed atmosphere. Good choice."
Ansel slides a little closer. "Plus, Claudia is a great waitress."
"When I'm Queen of the World, I'll be outspoken and sassy like her."
He raises an eyebrow. "Queen of the World?"
I cover my grin with the menu. "Just something I always say."
"I love it. I also love that you have a saucy side, even if it's hidden for now."
We both order the lasagna, and Claudia only permits us to get a side of onion rings if we promise we're actually going to eat the salad that comes with the main course.
During the meal, Ansel and I chat about everything under the sun.
The stress of his role as male head of the family, now that his father's gone.
My annoyance at the way my sister is too loud, too bossy, and way too ready to share every thought that flies through her head.
Our mutual love of long walks to clear our minds.
The way we're both not glued to our phones, and prefer paper books to reading on a tablet.
After we split a slice of first peach, then chocolate raspberry pie (because Claudia insists it's impossible to choose between them and why not have both because life is too short), Ansel pulls his phone from his pocket. "I'm really sorry, I have to call my brother back. I'll be quick."
He presses a quick kiss to my forehead before darting outside.
When Claudia heads my way, I remember my new vow of not being as shy. "I'm a server myself, in a café," I say as she gathers up the plates. "And I really admire your style. The sassiness is a great complement to the food."
She looks around dramatically, whipping her ponytail from side to side before leaning in and whispering. "I used to be pretty quiet. But I developed this kind of alter ego when I'm at work. I imagine the kind of energy people will react well to, and channel it."
"Wow. Thanks – I'll have to work on that myself."
She nods to the window, where Ansel is on the phone, pacing slowly across the parking lot. "I hope you're working on him. He's one tall drink of water."
I can feel my cheeks burning. She leans in again, her eyes dancing. "Is this a first date?"
"Yes."
"I knew it!" She beams, showing off perfect white teeth. "Well, I've been reading your body language all night. He is incredibly into you. I mean, you obviously like him as well, but you're nervous."
"Everything is so brand new. And his family is really important in town. It's a lot to take in."
She waves at me dismissively. "Don't worry about that. Just let him fall hard for you, and everything else will sort itself out." She flashes me a giant grin, then flounces away to top up the coffee mugs of the row of older men at the soda counter.
Can it really be that easy? Can I just be open minded, and let things fall into place?
Maybe. I really want things to work with Ansel. More than anyone I've ever met.
When he returns to the table, his smile seems a little forced. Placing a tentative hand on his knee, I murmur, "Is everything okay?"
His arm slides around my waist, pulling me closer than I would expect for a public restaurant. "Family trouble, that's all. My Uncle Lloyd is a raving asshole, and he's stirring things up again. Enough said."
"He hasn't come into Acorns in a while, which we're all happy about, if a little surprised."
"He's been banned. I'll explain another time. Ready to go?"
On the way back to Oakton we list our favorite movies. Then we make an extensive list of classic movies that we feel we should have seen, but haven't gotten around to watching yet.
By the time he pulls up in front of my place, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. Much less with a strange man that I only met this morning while not quite dressed.
He walks me to the door, then wraps his thick arms around me, pulling me against his chest as he strokes my hair.
"Everything about you feels right, Lynn.
" He tips my chin up with his finger, gazing into my eyes for so long my breath becomes uneven.
"I'm already falling for you. Hard. Am I allowed to say that? "
My natural instinct is to run inside, because this conversation is way too intense. "The fire is chasing the squirrels again," I blurt.
He steps back, holding my hands in his. "Breathe." We take a long, slow breath together. Looking into his hazel eyes, I am lost in how wonderful he is.
"Official business. I believe that things went well, and I hope that I deserve your number?"
"Of course." He pulls his phone from his pocket, and I enter it carefully.
"Excellent." He slips the phone away, then glides his hand up my back, between my shoulder blades. "Now, I'm going to kiss you good night," he says gently. "I want you to think of my touch as a cool breeze that blows out the squirrel-chasing fire. Okay?"
I'm smiling too hard as he begins to kiss me, making us both laugh. Then our mouths soften and open together, the urge to kiss suddenly much stronger than the need to giggle.
And wow, can Ansel kiss. He knows exactly how to pull me close, tilt my head, devour me slowly and gently until I feel like I might float away on a cloud.
He begins to pull away, but my fingers tighten in the back of his hair, holding him against me for another minute. Finally we part for air, stepping back.
He looks just as dazzled as I feel. "That was magical."
"Thank you for the best first date I could possibly imagine," I say, releasing him as I dig for my keys.
"That was my best date ever," he says slowly, leaning in to kiss my forehead one last time. "Sleep well, Lynn. I'll text you tomorrow."
"Good night."
My heart is still racing after I get upstairs to my apartment, shower, and hop into bed.
Everything about Ansel feels solid and good. Steady. Our conversations, the way he cares for me. But the physical side. I was not prepared for that amount of electricity surging through my body every time he touched me.
And that was just our first date?
If we go out again, the fire won't be chasing any imaginary squirrels in my stomach. It'll be consuming me whole.
I can't wait.