Chapter 9
LYNN
“You know that staring at it doesn't make the coffee brew faster, right?”
I spin to catch Sonya's smile. "Sorry."
"We all get spacey sometimes," she says, patting me on the shoulder on her way to grab a cloth to wipe down the counter.
She's been extra perky lately, or maybe I just notice her expression more since she started wearing her honey blonde hair pulled back so that I can get a better look at her bright eyes. "Is everything all right?"
There is no way to control the giant sappy grin that blooms across my face.
"Oh boy." Bridget joins us, shooting Sonya a knowing glance. "That, girl, is the look of love. Remember how I told you I thought I saw Ansel Oakley picking her up from work the other day?"
Sonya's grin lights up her eyes as she gently smacks me in the butt with the towel. "You saucy little thing. You have a secret lover and you haven't told us yet?"
"Wait. Who has a secret lover?" We all turn to see Elise, helping herself to a large coffee.
Bridget laughs. "You know you have the best coffee in town when someone comes in on their day off just to get their fix."
Elise pours a second cup, her giant pink flamingo earrings catching the light. "What? Braden and I were driving by, and since you're all standing around gossiping about somebody's secret lover, I thought I'd just serve myself."
She waves to Rachel in the office, who gives her a thumbs up as she goes around to the front of the counter.
"So, where are you and Braden off to today?" I ask Elise brightly.
"Umm, no way," Bridget interrupts. "You have to tell us what's going on with Ansel."
What is going on? Nothing much, other than my entire life being turned upside down and sideways. There is too much going on in my mind to make sense of it, much less share it in a logical way.
I'm in my first sexual relationship. I'm so happy and terrified I might explode, and I'm worried about being chatty enough to keep him entertained.
There's no way I can share any of that. But I have to tell them something. They're all staring at me expectantly.
"We're dating."
The three of them share a glance. Sonya speaks first. "And?"
"And he's really nice, and I think things are going well."
"Has he taken you to the forest yet?" Elise asks.
"Yes. It's amazing."
"Do you think things are serious? Or might get serious?" Bridget asks cautiously.
I don't have an answer to that. I want to believe it, but I don't have any experience to back up my feelings.
It doesn't make any sense, if I look at it logically.
Ansel is older, wealthy, gorgeous, and established.
He could do everything for me. I can do nothing for him.
It's all so unbalanced that it makes my anxiety kick in and my head start to spin.
As always, I struggle to think of something to say.
"It's been less than a week," I say as lightly as possible with an exaggerated shrug. "Ask me again in a month."
Elise grins. "Well, I'm super excited for you. Sorry, I have to go, but I want the full details next time I'm working." She spins with a flourish so that her pink hair fans out around her in a halo, making us laugh.
I can see that Bridget is about to beg for more information, so I deflect her question. "How are things with Dash?"
"Incredible." Her smile lights up her eyes. "His mom Carol met my mom last night, and they're both into some weird old eighties band I've never heard of. Flock of Pigeons? Bunch of Seagulls? I dunno. Anyway, they clicked right away, and got along so well!"
An older couple comes in and sits in her section, so she grabs two menus, bopping me on the shoulder as she passes, whispering, "I bet we're going to be sisters-in-law someday."
I know she means it kindly, but that feels like a lot of pressure.
"Don't let her freak you out," Sonya says as she puts on another pot of coffee. "It'll work out, or it won't. Either way is fine. Anyhow, by all accounts he's a great guy, so at least you know he's trustworthy."
She heads toward her tables with a full coffee pot in hand, then turns back. "I know you're quiet, Lynn. And that's fine. But you'll have to really try to speak up when you're around him. He deserves to know what you want, and what you're thinking, okay?"
I nod. "Okay. Thanks."
She flashes me a giant grin as she tosses her hair. "Hashtag-girl-power and all that good stuff, right?"
"Right." I look at her thoughtfully. She's so pretty and smart, I have to ask. "Hey – you're such a cheerleader for everyone else when they're falling in love. When are you going to date?"
She sticks out her tongue. "Blech. How about never? Yeah, that sounds about right." She disappears before I can ask why.
As I run orders from the pickup window to my tables, I'm extra careful with the bowls of tomato soup, considering what happened the last time.
Which makes me wonder. The way Ansel and I met was so random. Did he ask me out that first time out of pity? Am I remotely the kind of woman he usually dates?
Running orders and cleaning and filling endless mugs of coffee gives me time to think.
Everyone already knows Ansel. They think he's a great guy.
Therefore, if anything goes wrong with our relationship, it's automatically going to be my fault.
The town will assume that I'm the one who screwed something up.
And they might have a point. Like, honestly, who am I? I work in a coffee shop, I design a few websites here and there, and I live in an apartment that my parents helped set up for me. I'm just getting started.
Ansel has already has a full, grownup life. Writing software, starting a company. I don't even know how many employees he has, but I bet it's a lot.
The guy actually bought a house that was way too big just because it was available and he liked it, for Pete's sake.
Even though I'm carrying hot mugs of coffee and warm plates of food, my fingers start to go cold. Just when I was just starting to mellow out, I'm even more terrified.
I'm falling in love with Ansel.
Yet I don't know how to tell him that, and I certainly don't know how to keep him. If I'm going to hold onto him, I'm going to have to find ways to dial my nervous energy down, and my positive, confident girlfriend energy up.
Just…how do I do that?