Just a Feeling
six
*FOREST*
An hour later, Lissa pops up next to me with a bright smile. She wraps her hand around my arm. “Here you are, Forest.”
“Yes, here I am,” I say evasively. Tristan’s words are still ringing in my mind. What am I even doing here? I don’t know why I feel that way, but suddenly I feel like the biggest loser to ever exist. More so than when my parents talk to me.
Tristan had to leave early, so once he was gone, I found myself in my usual awkward state again and hid around the buffet. With a glass of wine and a plate in my hand, it at least looks like I am busy.
“Come, Alpha Jordan wants to meet you. I talked to him a whole lot.”
“Why?” I ask.
She giggles. “Because you are the future alpha of a pack that he wants to be allied to, silly.”
My question was rather targeted at how long she talked to him.
I still have Tristan’s words in mind. Tristan doesn’t strike me as a liar, so why would he make something like that up?
There could be a reason for Lissa and Jordan meeting in private, though I can’t think of many. Maybe I should just ask her?
“Say, Lissa?”
“Yes?” She takes my arm, slowly dragging me along.
“You and Jordan get along well, don’t you?”
She blinks before she bursts into giggles. “Are you jealous, Forest?”
Not really. And despite my usual avoidant nature, I have to actually fight those words back.
I know they would insult her. It’s just that, suddenly, my wolf’s words resound in my mind about how he wants to wait for our fated mate, and while I am not sure if we’ll ever find her, I certainly want to at least be in love.
Lissa is sweet; she is a friend, and she has always had my back, but it’s not the same as being in love with someone. Even I get that.
“Forest,” Jordan smiles at me. “How lovely to meet you.”
Forest. He is being impolite on purpose.
I am an alpha’s heir, and even for those of us who haven’t taken over yet, it’s common to be called by our future rank.
It’s polite and respectful that way, unless we are so close to someone that it doesn’t matter.
Like I am with Tristan. I would never have him call me by my title, and I don’t use his either.
Jordan, however, is a whole different topic. I don’t know the guy, and I certainly don’t like him much, either.
If I had some backbone, I would greet him with a simple ‘Jordan’, but I don’t want to stir the pot and have my parents get mad or disappointed. “It’s nice to meet you again,” I say, avoiding mentioning his title altogether.
Jordan smiles like a guy who knows he has the upper hand. He turns to Lissa. “When I heard you’d be attending, I had my hopes high immediately.”
Lissa blinks up at him innocently. “What do you mean, Alpha Jordan?”
“It meant I’d have someone to talk to when things turn boring.”
Lissa giggles, making me stiffen involuntarily. What is she doing? Lissa is a person with a fun and engaging personality—I have always known her that way; everyone knows her like that, which is why she is such a social butterfly.
But she is downright flirting with the guy. The man is mated; he has a fated mate at home—his luna.
Goddess, I need to tell Lissa that the business deal isn’t that important for her to kiss up to that douchebag.
“You are awfully bold for an alpha with a mate,” Lissa says. The words are right and pretty much align with what I was thinking, but instead of sounding reproachful, her tone is playful.
“You know, Lissa,” he mutters. “Things are… complicated.”
“How so?” I ask, almost on autopilot. How can it be complicated? The man has a fucking mate!
Jordan doesn’t even look at me and just keeps smiling at Lissa. “You know my situation, don’t you?”
“I know,” she sighs sadly.
“Did something happen?” I ask, just to get ignored again.
That fucker! He is doing it on purpose; that much is obvious, but what is his problem? Why have Lissa drag me along when he doesn’t even want to talk to me?
To humiliate me.
It’s to humiliate me.
“She is cheating on you, isn’t she?” Lissa says quietly.
“I loved her so much, but I can’t believe she would betray me like that,” he sighs. “I mean, we are only chosen mates, but it should mean something, shouldn’t it?”
“You marked her,” Lissa says. “Of course it means something.”
I had no idea Jordan’s luna wasn’t his fated mate. No one ever said that she wasn’t. I thought with a pack as big as his and a name as popular as his, this type of news would have certainly traveled.
“Man, Jordan, is that true?” Two other alphas approach us. “I am so sorry, man.”
Jordan tells them about how he felt betrayal pains and found out she was screwing one of his elite warriors.
“You should kill her,” one of the men mutters.
“Or bring her to one of our meetings. We’d have fun with her,” the other says.
“Maybe I’ll do that,” Jordan grins.
Lissa giggles, hitting me completely out of the blue with her reaction.
They are just talking about how they want to assault, or even kill, this douchebag’s luna, and she is giggling?
What’s wrong with her? I guess she just wants to kiss up to Jordan to make any future deals easier for us, but still…
Something in my stomach churns. So even if his luna cheated on him…
how come they think it’s within their rights to rape her?
Fucking lunatics! “Why don’t you separate from her? ” I ask the obvious.
I know it’s hard to separate from a mate—fated or not—but in case they are truly only chosen mates, then it should be doable. I do know that separating from a fated mate needs to have a proper trial beforehand. It’s very much illegal otherwise.
Again, Jordan ignores me, while the other alphas grin. Yeah, there is no doubt he wants to degrade me as much as possible.
The whole group ignores me, and one of the guys turns to look at Jordan. “I have never seen your luna, Jordan. Does she really care so little?”
“Yeah,” he says. “She likes to stay in her chambers. She doesn’t even interact with anyone from the pack.”
If she doesn’t interact with anyone from the pack, how did she hook up with a random warrior?
Something about this whole story doesn’t add up for me, mostly though, because Tristan told me only an hour ago that Jordan has been seen with another woman.
The other woman, apparently Lissa, but maybe it was someone else.
I doubt Lissa would sleep with a mated wolf.
She has morals after all, even though it’s difficult to believe in her when she plays along, as she does now.
She wouldn’t need to do it if I had more of a presence and a backbone.
While Jordan continues his talk with his peers and Lissa, I stand around awkwardly.
Didn’t he want to talk business? Wasn’t that why Lissa dragged me here?
I want to, for once, show some guts and ask him about it directly, but something holds me back.
Part of it is probably due to my anxiety, but it’s not only that.
I just really don’t like that guy.
By the end of the evening, the only deals I’d struck were with Tristan, in terms of let’s get together and talk business. He leads a small pack, but he is loyal, and I kind of want to stay in contact with him.
As for Jordan, it seems like Lissa was much more successful. Actually, she was successful with two of his friends as well.
“Alpha Jordan wants to meet in private,” she tells me while we climb into the car that will take us home. Martin was already waiting for us. I didn’t see much of him during the evening, but at times I spotted him lingering in the shadows, so I guess he kept an eye on Lissa and me.
I don’t know him well, but he seems to be able to take his job seriously.
“Oh, and Alpha Caleb and Alpha Thorin want to meet, too.”
“They are Jordan’s friends?” I ask.
Lissa sighs slightly. Was my question that stupid? It probably was. I should know these guys; they are important for my pack and obviously mean something to my family. Also, Lissa worked the whole night, while I achieved nothing.
I really need to try to be less of a loser.
But how do I achieve that? No matter how hard I train or how much I try, I am just my usual self wherever I go. It’s probably hopeless.
Lissa turns to Martin. “Do you know Caleb and Thorin?” she asks.
“Yes,” he says.
“See?” She turns to me.
Martin tosses me a glance through the rearview mirror. “I know of them because I was sent to attend a beta meeting two months ago,” he explains to my surprise. “I heard about them there.”
Lissa looks discontent with his words, but I don’t know why. It makes sense that he got to know them that way. “And Jordan?” I ask.
“Everyone knows Alpha Jordan,” he mutters.
His tone sounds off and spikes my interest. Did he have a run-in with Jordan? Or hear something? Again, he looks at me through the rearview mirror. It looks like he wants to say more, but then just turns his gaze back to the road, and he stays quiet.
Lissa stays silent, too, staring out of the window while Martin drives us back to our pack.
In the reflection of the window, I can see how she is frowning.
Was it something I said? Maybe I disrespected her in a way, even if it was unintentional.
She worked hard the whole evening to strike deals I couldn’t.
I probably didn’t appreciate her efforts enough.
“Did you set a specific date with Jordan?” I ask into the silence.
Lissa turns to look at me. For a while, she still wears the same frown as before, then she smiles. “I haven't done it yet. I wanted to check in with you first. I can call him first thing in the morning. Do you want me to?”
No, I don’t.
I hate the guy.
But then, it’s not logical to hate him just because… I don’t know him. Maybe I am being unfair. Sure, he ignored me during our talk, but maybe I crossed him once and didn’t notice. An alpha as big as he is, for sure, knows what he is doing.
But still…
“I want to think it through a little,” I say. When I notice how Lissa’s expression falters, I hurry to reassure her. “To check what we can offer and to talk to Dad.”
Her expression relaxes again, and she nods. “Tell me when you know the details, and I will contact him.”
Great, now she expects me to get into a deal with him. Why did I have to tell her I would do it? Now, how the fuck am I getting out of this?