Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Keeran woke to the cheerful twitter of birds, rejoicing in their being alive to see in the new day after the fearsome storm the night before.
He groaned as he pushed himself off the hard ground, his joints protesting a night in wet clothes, on cold stone. Aelia was already up and packing, the horses tacked up and ready to go.
“You’re up early,” he said, running a hand through his hair and squinting up at her.
“Force of habit.” She wrenched the straps of the saddle tight over her pack, securing it in place. “And we lost time yesterday. If we set out early, we can make it up today.”
“The Astraea will have lost time too,” Keeran pointed out, stretching his neck until it popped, some of the tension in it easing instantly.
“All the more reason to crack on.” Aelia gave her saddlebags one final check before patting the horse on the neck. “Means we can gain on them.”
“Can we gain on them after breakfast?” Keeran asked, wryly.
Aelia just pointed to a small parcel wrapped in cloth beside him. He reached over and pulled it closer, flipping open the fabric to reveal some sorry-looking berries and some dried meat. He’d take them any day rather than another of her culinary experiments.
“Well, it appears you’ve thought of everything,” he said, hauling himself to his feet and rolling up his blanket.
A few minutes later, they were leading the horses out into the crisp morning air.
He breathed it in, the fresh tang only a storm could create.
By the time he opened his eyes, Aelia was already swinging herself into the saddle, wincing but managing.
She’d applied the poultice again last night, an act that had had him disappearing to check on the horses, and there was no doubt it was helping.
Tugging on her reins, she turned her horse towards the road.
“I’m going to see if I can hunt us something to cook later. If you follow the road, I’ll catch up with you,” he called after her, making her stop and swivel in the saddle. She looked at him for a long moment before nodding.
“See you later then.” She nudged her horse into a trot and took off through the long grass.
Keeran watched her go until his horse nudged him with its dark nose, snapping him out of his trance.
“You’re as impatient as she is,” he said, running a palm over the long brow of his gentle-eyed companion. “I suppose you’re right, though, we should make a move, especially if we’re going to catch up with her.”
Keeran swung himself into the saddle, careful to lower himself into it gently. He was by no means easy cargo for the horse to carry, and he didn’t need to make its job any harder than it had to be.
He clicked his tongue and brushed his heels against its side, heading in the opposite direction to Aelia.
The tall grass of the plains surrounding Drias stretched in endless monotony in every direction, all the way back to Aelia’s forests in the South.
Keeran didn’t expect there to be any trouble coming their way from Drias, there were too many people passing in and out of the town for anyone to have associated him with the deaths of the three artemians.
But it was reassuring to know that with his eyesight, he’d see anyone coming across the vast expanse of uninterrupted grass well before they saw him.
Unfortunately, the same could be said of any game he might come across. It was far from ideal hunting grounds, with very few places to hide, but that suited Keeran just fine. He was in desperate need of a challenge, of a distraction.
There was little more than a light breeze to ruffle the seeded heads of the grass tickling his horse’s belly, but it was enough to carry the subtle scent of a rabbit warren. Rabbit stew sounded pretty damn good after whatever the hell it was that Aelia had made last night.
Keeran dismounted and hobbled his horse, leaving it contentedly tucking into the lush grass, before setting off upwind.
The warren was all too easy to find. Nowhere near enough to take his mind off everything that was troubling him.
Focus, he demanded as he crawled on his elbows through the long stalks up a hill overlooking the unsuspecting rabbits, but it was no good. His thoughts kept scurrying back to Aelia.
She was infuriating. Rude, spiky, antagonistic…
and yet, there was an immense vulnerability to her that had stopped Keeran from yelling at her to find Beserkir on her own.
Because it was crystal clear that she needed him a damn sight more than he needed her.
So far, she’d been nothing more than a liability. An ill-tempered liability.
Keeran just didn’t know if the whole “fuck you, fuck them, fuck the whole fucking world” attitude was because of what had happened with the Astraea, or if it pre-dated that.
He hadn’t known her before; he only had the few moments he’d stolen when he was watching her from a distance to compare her to.
He stopped in his tracks, his elbows relaxing to drop his chest to the ground as he was struck by the memories of the night Shiva had ambushed her. Aelia had kicked off when he’d said he was superior, like he’d really struck a nerve. She couldn’t Shift, despite the magic ringing her eyes.
Cogs whirred to life in his mind, the consequences of that flashing before him in a tale of struggle and inadequacy, being stuck somewhere in between human and artemian.
There was no doubt in his mind that she was a fighter; in the short time he’d known her, she’d shown herself to be resilient and ballsy.
So it was no real surprise that she attacked the world with almost every word she uttered, pushing herself instead of accepting help, and resenting anyone who offered it to her.
Keeran huffed a low laugh, the creature in him opening its slitted eye with a gentle snick. That simply wouldn’t do. He clenched his fists so hard the veins of his forearm popped out from the straining muscle. He’d drag that inferiority complex out of her by the throat if he had to.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t relate— gods knew he was well versed with using anger as a coping mechanism— but he’d be fucking damned before he let her refuse help from him again. Not now he realised where it stemmed from.
He’d just have to find other ways to make her feel powerful, to teach her the pleasure of relinquishing control.
Keeran slammed the bars down on the cage in his mind, shutting off the urges radiating off the creature living in it. He released a breath and slicked his hair back with a trembling hand.
Just the thought of her was enough to wake it, to stir the primitive emotions it slammed into him.
He didn’t remember the last time he’d been so vulnerable to its advances.
Years, decades, of practice had made his hold over it firm and indomitable, but recently, it had begun to overwhelm him, to push him aside.
Since he’d first seen Aelia.
There was no denying it. That’s when it had started.
He’d sunk into its urge to follow her, to watch her.
It had driven him to protect her, to wait for her instead of heading straight after Beserkir, to suggest they travel together when she’d only slow him down.
Common sense had fucking dissipated since he’d first laid eyes on her, the monster in him prying loose his careful hold on its leash.
Keeran closed his eyes, his head hanging low as Aelia’s words the night before sliced through him.
It made it so much worse that she’d seen through his attempt to be better, that she’d picked up on the evil in him in just a few days.
He’d tried so hard to control it, to keep that side of him at bay, and she’d seen right through him. Just like everyone else.
A monster, that’s what she’d called him. She had no fucking idea.
Keeran snapped his head up. Fuck it, he shouldn’t have bothered pretending; he carried evil with him every breath he took, and there was no escaping it. Not even for a woman like Aelia.
He crawled forwards, creeping over the brow of the hill, and sure enough, rabbits dotted the plains below.
His magic leapt to life at the merest encouragement, his aim perfect as tiny balls of fire zipped across the grass to plunge straight through the eyes of three unsuspecting rabbits.
The others kicked up their heels and fled, scurrying to safety beneath the soil.
Keeran felt a twinge of remorse as he went to pick up the limp, furry bodies. It was hardly a fair fight. But with someone like him, when was it ever?
A whole day passed before Keeran caught up with Aelia, the rabbits tied and bouncing on his saddle since early morning.
The road had met with a river, meandering along its banks until he’d reached the tip of one of the first lakes that formed the Tears of Deliah, a cluster of lakes spanning for miles between here and Llmera, the capital city on the coast. As he looked out over the crystal-clear waters, he regretted not being there when Aelia saw them for the first time.
The break from the monotony of the plains was liberating, the breeze off the lake cool and refreshing on skin that had experienced the unrelenting attention of the sun.
The dull plains had transformed into a rolling grassland, full of colourful flowers that supported huge insects the size of Keeran’s finger.
Aelia had been easy enough to find, but he’d been reluctant to rejoin her, choosing to follow her at a distance instead. Out of sight, but far from out of mind.
It was shame that kept him away; shame that he’d lost his temper, shame that he’d lost control, shame that she’d seen that which he’d tried to hide. So, he’d put off having to face her again.
But the sun was disappearing beneath the waving grasses on the horizon to warm the other half of the world, leaving him no choice but to join where Aelia was setting up camp.