Chapter Thirteen
Maisy was nervous, which seemed absurd considering what they’d done to each other the night before. He’d seen her without clothing last night, and now, sitting there in her appropriate gown, she felt almost as naked as before.
It made no reason that it would continue to get worse as the mantle clock ticked away the minutes as they waited. Well, she waited. Jack had launched into his meal like a starving jackal on an antelope.
Even more confusing was the way her nerves dissipated almost completely when Iain finally entered the room. Or at least she thought it was Iain.
He was the same man who took her to his bed, but different. When he smiled she could see a dimple on the left side of his face that made him seem almost boyish.
She smiled back. How was it possible he was even more handsome?
“Your beard…” she said, touching her own chin as if he didn’t know his whiskers were gone.
“Aye. You said my beard made it difficult for Jack to read my lips, so I did away with it while I’m here.”
He looked toward Jack and shook his head.
“Perhaps he’ll notice after he’s done attacking his plate,” she offered, causing Iain to smile again. She wanted to say things to make that dimple come out for the rest of her life.
She took a breath, trying desperately to quash the longing in her heart for a man who had plans to leave. No good could come of wanting him.
She suddenly felt exhausted after having slept so well in his arms.
“I assume you wish to look at the ledgers first thing?” Maisy asked, bringing them back to business.
Iain frowned but nodded.
“I suppose so, though I’m not sure what good it will do. They’ll make no sense to me.”
He’d told her of his affliction when it came to letters and numbers.
“Then I shall offer my services. I know my way about a ledger. When we lived in the country, I always saw to the books. And then when my father grew ill and we moved to London, Nelson couldn’t be bothered with frivolous tasks like making sure the title was solvent.
” She shook her head, remembering all the spending Nelson did when their father wasn’t able to stop him.
Once her father passed, it probably wouldn’t be long before Nelson spent every farthing they’d had on women, gaming, and horses. But it didn’t matter because she and Jack were safe in this rundown castle.
“I would appreciate your help. Perhaps you can take a look at the books while Jack and I take stock of the roof.”
Jack had noticed Iain and read what he’d said on his lips.
With a smile, her brother turned to her and put his fork down to tell her he could understand him.
“Yes,” she said while signing back to him. “He removed his beard so you can communicate better.” So much for not caring about this man who would do something so kind for her brother.
“Not just that. I thought perhaps it would be more comfortable for kissing.” He winked at her and her skin pebbled with gooseflesh. Which was even more strange because she felt hot and not cold.
Jack tilted his head in confusion and looked at her.
“Did he say kissing?” Jack signed.
Maisy’s cheeks heated. “Lord Kesson wants to know if you will help him on the roof.”
Jack nodded slowly and looked between her and Iain again.
“You should change for working,” she signed to her brother to distract him from anything regarding kissing.
Jack snatched another piece of ham and carried it with him out of the room like a barbarian. She might have apologized if Iain wasn’t smiling after the boy.
“I remember being hungry all the time. I worry the dowry might not be enough to fix the castle and keep that lad in food.”
She laughed, because her dowry was more than excessive. And surely Jack wouldn’t keep eating at this pace forever.
Not that Iain would know, because he would be gone.
“If you will excuse me, I have some ledgers who wish for my attention.”
She stood to go, but as she walked past him he held out his hand toward her. She stepped closer and he took her fingers in his and pulled it to his mouth to kiss the back of her hand.
“I also wish for your attention, but I will wait until tonight if it suits you.”
He wished for them to do join in his bed again?
“Yes.” She breathed more than spoke the word, but the show of the dimple told her he’d heard.
“I will come by the study later to check on you. To make sure you did not get stuck under a pile of dusty old ledgers.” Another wink.
She felt her blush and cursed softly, making him laugh. She might have rushed out of the room in a fit of embarrassment, but he tugged her hand, pulling her onto his lap where he kissed her deeply.
There was no chance to resist or warn him that others might see. When his lips touched hers, there was no other person in the castle but them.
His tongue reached for hers and she didn’t hesitate to meet him stroke for stroke.
“Was I right?” he asked when he pulled away, leaving them both panting.
“About what?”
“Is it better for kissing?”
It took a moment for her mind to clear enough for her to think of what he meant. His bare skin against hers without a hair between them.
“I enjoy kissing you with or without your beard,” she said with a bit too much honesty. She looked away, their connection ended as she removed herself from his lap with the gracefulness of a baby calf being birthed by its mother. “I will see you later.”
With that she darted from the room to find the study. If she’d said she liked the beard, would he even be here long enough for it to grow back?
Regardless of how long he might stay, eventually he would be leaving and she would be alone.
Iain found Jack and the two of them crawled out through an attic window to get to the roof.
From their place Iain could see a number of broken slates in three separate places.
He wouldn’t be the one to make the repairs, but knowing what was wrong and what work would be needed kept him from being taken for a fool with a craftsman.
“Did you kiss my sister?” Jack said.
“Shite,” Iain muttered more to himself.
Jack tapped his arm. Yes, he needed to turn to face Jack so he could read his lips, but this was not something he wanted to discuss with his wife’s brother.
“Aye. She is my wife. Husbands kiss their wives. It’s quite common.” Perhaps not as common in the peerage, but his parents had kissed quite often in front of him.
Jack watched him for a moment before asking, “You are still leaving?”
Iain nodded.
“I have to go. My life is on The Rue, moving cargo.”
Jack looked out over the green fields around them.
“Captain Iain’s life is on the sea. Lord Kesson’s life is here,” Jack said.
“Perhaps, but I’m not really Lord Kesson.”
“Just because it’s new doesn’t mean you are any less Lord Kesson. Not if you wished to be.” While Jack’s words were slightly mumbled, Iain was able to understand them perfectly. Mostly because Iain, himself, had been thinking the same thing.
But that was the issue, wasn’t it? Iain hadn’t wanted to be a lord at all. He was a sea captain. That is what he knew. What he was good at.
“Come. Let’s see the state of the stables. I’d like to have a list of everything that needs repairing before the workers come. Then I can tell them what to do first.”
Jack pulled out his slate and wrote down the word “Roof” in his immaculate handwriting and put three ticks next to it. He was starting the list. Iain didn’t actually need it written down. He’d developed a strong memory since writing was quite difficult for him.
“I will come back,” Iain said, surprising himself. “I don’t know how often. But I will visit occasionally. To make sure you are both well.”
Jack looked away and for a moment and Iain worried he’d not understood but then the boy who was nearly a man turned back to him.
“Perhaps you should not.”
Iain nodded. The lad was probably right. What good would it do to have this life for brief moments. Like a storm blowing into Maisy’s life, gone in the morning, leaving behind nothing but damage and debris.
He could not stay there long enough to give her the life she deserved. She’d wanted only a safe place for her and her brother, and Iain could do that. She’d not asked for a husband for anything other than protection.
Then she’d asked for a husband to show her the way of bed sport.
What if she asked him for more? He feared he’d be unable to refuse her. Not when she cast those golden eyes his way.
Did he want to leave? He couldn’t answer that. What he knew was that he needed to leave. By the time he returned to London, the supercargo would have his next run planned out. People were depending on him. Maybe not the crew because they could get work on any ship. But Hodge.
Except Hodge seemed content teasing Mrs. Sutherland as Iain made it back into the house.
Other people would be expecting his delivery of goods. But couldn’t any ship take them?
It was becoming more and more difficult for him to convince himself he had to leave her.
But this wasn’t his life. And he’d not flit into Maisy’s life when it was convenient and take what he wanted without giving her what she was due as his wife.
No, when he left, he would stay away rather than hurt them both over and over again with brief moments of happiness.
This was for the best.