Chapter Seventeen
Iain woke late the next morning which was something he did quite often of late. He no longer took the helm at night, not wanting to think of the night he’d kissed Maisy in the moonlight.
He missed her. He could not keep himself busy enough to distract himself from that truth any longer. His heart hurt. He’d thought of going to visit, to ease the pain, but feared it would just cause more pain when he left again. And he didn’t think he’d survive anymore pain.
As he lay there looking at the sun rising through the portal above his bed he squinted. Why was he looking at the sun rising? His bed was on the starboard side of the ship. He should be looking at the coastline as they headed south.
Seeing the sun meant they were heading north.
“That bloody man,” he said in a hiss, and jumped out of his bed.
After pulling on enough clothes, he headed out on deck.
“Hodge!”
“Aye?”
“Why are we heading north?”
“We’ve cargo bound for Inverness. The only way to get there is north.”
“Oh.” He calmed down, but his heart continued to pound. “Very well.”
Hodge came closer and shook his head.
“It is far from very well. I’ll be departing The Rue at Inverness.”
“For how long?” Iain asked. Hodge had been with him since he’d sailed for the Crown. He couldn’t imagine not having the man at his side.
“Forever.” Hodge smiled and Iain couldn’t grasp what was happening.
“I don’t understand.”
“That’s the truth. These last months I’ve been thinking often of Mrs. Sutherland. She is a merry widow, indeed, but also funny and much better company than ye. So I’m leaving you at Inverness to go back to Kesson and be with the woman I want to be with.”
Iain shook his head.
“You and Mrs. Sutherland?”
“Aye. And to be true, I’m fond of Jack and Maisy, and miss them both as well.”
“But you love the sea, as I do.”
“I didn’t know you were so clout-headed. But neither of us loves the sea as much as we do someone else. Have you never noticed, lad? For all our love of the sea, she can never love us back. And isn’t that the best part of loving something?”
“I am the Captain of The Rue. I can’t just stop because a lass has caught my eye.”
“And captured your heart.”
Iain swallowed, or tried to. Hodge was holding no punches today. In fact, he was leaving Iain bloody and bruised.
Still, Iain felt something spark in his belly. Hope.
“How would it work?” Iain’s voice was barely a whisper. Hope was a dangerous thing.
“You are the bloody Earl of Kesson, you can sell The Rue and live in a castle with the woman you love.”
He’d scraped and bled to make enough money to buy The Rue, and he was now supposed to just let it go? For a woman?
“Or,” Hodge continued. “You ask the lass to join you. She has steady legs on her. She’d not once lost her accounts.”
Iain smiled, the muscles sore with unuse. “She lost her accounts the first time we met.”
“I think ye are mad to be smiling over such a thing, but if the memory makes you see how your path should change, then I’m glad of it.”
“I should talk to her. See what she wants.”
“Ah! Finally!” Hodge rolled his eyes, much like Jack did. “Aye. You should talk to your wife and decide what works best for you both.”
“We should make for Aberdeen after dropping the cargo in Inverness.” Iain was calculating how many more days he’d have to wait to see Maisy.
“Bah. There’s no cargo going to Inverness. I was bringing you back to Aberdeen the whole time.”
Iain picked up Hodge and twirled him around.
“Put me down, ye lout.” Once Hodge was on his feet he called out an order to the crew. “Full sails, lads! The capt’n is set for home!”
Even with The Rue’s sails filled with cool Scottish wind, the vessel did not move fast enough for his liking. As soon as they docked in Aberdeen, Iain borrowed a horse and set off for Kesson.
Coming over a rise, he saw the top turret of the castle. Home.
He nudged the horse to go faster.
Handing it off to the butler, he rushed inside. He saw Mrs. Sutherland first.
“Where is Maisy?”
“She’s resting.”
Resting? It was late in the afternoon. Why would she need to rest? Unless she was ill? Was she hurt?
He took the stairs two and three at a time and rushed into her room to see the bed empty.
Abigail gasped from her seat in the corner where she was sewing.
“Maisy?”
“She sleeps in your room, my lord.” Abigail pointed to the door that led to his.
He slowed as he entered. In all his rush to get here, when his gaze finally fell on her sleeping form, he was struck still.
Did she sleep in his bed because she missed him?
Or perhaps she just liked having a lot of extra room. That didn’t seem reasonable since she hardly took up a quarter of it where she was curled on her side.
Unable to wait another second to touch her he sat next to her and brushed her hair back from her face. God, she was the most beautiful creature.
All his life he’d thought nothing would thrill him like seeing the sun rise on the sea, but she took his breath, like the ocean never could.
Her eyes blinked and opened. Then she frowned.
“I am dreaming of you yet again.” Her brows creased. “You normally don’t smell of the docks and horses in my dreams.”
He couldn’t help but laugh.
“Aye. You are just how I dream of you. Warm and soft and in nothing but your shift.”
She tilted her head, studying him.
“I don’t dream of you with a beard. Not because I don’t like your beard, but because when you left you didn’t have one.”
“I’ll shave it off first thing.”
She sat up, the covers falling away from her. He looked down at her full breasts. Fuller than he’d remembered.
She reached out to touch his face and gasped.
“You’re really here.”
“I am. I should never have left. I should have returned sooner. I should have asked you what you wanted. I should have done everything different.”
“You’re here. You’re back.” She fumbled to her knees and wrapped her arms around him. Then they were kissing and it was as if he’d not been gone for months at all.
She was in his arms. They needed to talk, but for now, he was pleased to be kissing her. Holding her.
Then she started pulling at his shirt and he realized their reunion was going to be carnal in nature. Thank the heavens. He’d missed her body as well.
He helped her with his clothes and kicked off his boots so his breeches could be shoved off. When he was naked, he pulled back the bedlinens so they wouldn’t be in the way when he ravished his wife, but he stopped.
When she shifted to make room for him, her thin gown pulled taut against the front of her body. Against breasts he was now certain were bigger than they’d been before, and more importantly against the small, round swell of her belly.
“Maisy…”
“Yes. We are having a baby.” She smiled as he ran his hand softly over their child. His heart expanded with all the love for her and their family. And then a shadow of regret dimmed his happiness.
“I am so very sorry for leaving. I have been miserable every day since I left and was too mutton-headed to realize I could just come home. To you. Can you ever forgive me?”
She nodded. “I wanted you to stay but didn’t feel I could ask it of you. You married me, planning to go back to the sea and I didn’t think I had any right to ask for more. But I’m asking now. Please stay with me.”
“Always. I love you. I’ll not be away from you ever again. If I do sail again it will be with you by my side.”
“Perhaps we can wait for a few more months. I’ve only just stopped losing my stomach in the mornings.”
“Anything you want, love.”
“Right now, I want you.”