Chapter 28 #3
This switch from cold aloofness to controlling clinginess was like drowning in icy water, only to come up for air and be scorched inside out within the mouth of a volcano.
I wasn’t sure which one I’d rather die by, and I found myself holding my breath, expecting the other shoe to drop at any moment.
My heart skipped around my rib cage, pinball-style, while I internally prepared bandages to stop myself from bleeding out when he inevitably pushed me away.
I’d done that all my life: got stabbed in the heart, pressed some gauze to the wound, and let it heal, only for another wound to appear.
Apparently, I was a glutton for punishment.
Scar tissue layered every inch of the muscle, but I always came back for more.
However, I was beginning to think that everything before Cillian was child’s play.
My parents, my siblings, my exes—their rejections and condemnations hurt, but Cillian’s touch and words made hope sprout roots and vine around my brittle heart as every tender moment pumped life back into it.
If he tried, he could absolutely destroy me.
“I’m tougher than I look. You’re always underestimating me.” I cleared my throat, my voice too small for my liking. “Give me my phone back before I make you.”
“Say you’ll move in, and it’s yours.”
“It’s already mine.” I avoided the first part because there was no way he actually said that.
He sucked my lower lip between his teeth and bit down. “I mean it. Move in with me.”
I scoffed and spun away. “That’s not something you joke about.”
As he caged me against the wall of cabinets, his hard shaft pressed against me from behind.
“What will it take to convince you to move in?”
I cocked my head. “You’re serious?”
He nodded, and again a flurry of butterflies took flight in my belly, but I cinched a belt tight around my insides to shove those down.
He was giving me a blank check, wrapped with a bow and an expectant look. This was my chance to move things forward, in case whatever this was spectacularly failed.
“Help me as the Toxic Fiend make five weapon sales in the States. Be my intermediary.”
From his look of shock, he probably expected me to ask for something more romantic, but if those butterflies were any indication, I needed a heavy dose of practicality before I exposed my heart to his caprices.
Five sales should be more than enough to earn him the funds to cover the debt with the Urabá cartel and at least a good chunk of the refund to break off our marriage.
“For your chemicals?”
“All agents and toxins I created myself.”
“And you’ll move in?”
“You guarantee me those sales within the next month, you’ll get yourself a ten percent commission fee, and I’ll move in with you today.”
“Fifteen.”
I scoffed. The nerve of him.
“Guess you don’t want me that bad.”
“Thirteen.”
I tittered at his ridiculousness. It was oddly flattering. “Anyone ever told you you’re a terrible negotiator?”
He caressed my hair back. “Only with you, síbhean. I’ll place all the sanity I have left on a silver platter for your taking. Take it, please.” He whispered the last part against my temple. “Just move in. I need to know I can protect you.”
“I can protect myself.”
“Of course you can.” He appeased me with a small smile, making it clear that I needed to prove to him I wasn’t some dainty little flower.
The timer went off, and I forced my limbs to calmly open the oven and remove the cake. The crust was perfectly golden and crisp. A rich, sweet aroma steamed off it.
“Alright. I’ll move in with you.” I set the cake on the table, keeping busy to hide the slight shake in my hands.
“And I want you to make a list.”
What was up with the demands today? “What kind?”
“A list of everything you’ve ever wished to do and haven’t.”
He cupped my face, cutting off my confusion with a kiss.
“I want to tick everything off it so that the day you die, you’ll have no regrets and be the happiest woman who ever lived.”
My brows creased. “I hadn’t realized I was dying anytime soon.”
His thumbs brushed my cheeks. “Not yet, but before your time comes, I’m going to help make your every wish come true.”
Huh? My jaw unhinged and dangled there.
“Who are you, and what have you done to my Cillian?”
“Your Cillian?”
Blood rushed to my face, but I refused to show him embarrassment, now of all times. I ducked my head and sliced the cake. “Obviously you’re mine.”
He looked way too pleased by that pronouncement. “As it should be.”
He pilfered a piece and wolfed half down. I waited, hip cocked, for some form of reciprocation. Nothing. Seriously?
I stole the remaining half of his cake back and scarfed it down.
“Oi,” he protested.
Cheeks round like a chipmunk’s, I muffled with all seriousness, “Are you not going to say I’m yours?”
“You better know you are, or you won’t be leaving my bed for the next week.”
He bent forward and licked away a crumb from the corner of my mouth. A rush of wetness flooded between my legs, and I gulped down the mouthful.
“You get that list down for me, and I’ll get right on showing you what it means to be mine.”
A calloused hand skimmed up my inner thigh, a delicious scratch catching on my bare skin, and I shivered out a needy moan. His fingers climbed up higher and higher, each one grooving deeper into my thigh. It made me clench around nothing at all, my pussy desperate to be filled again.
I caught his hand, my chest heaving. “Get me paper and a pen, and I’ll start.”
In one sharp movement, he spun me around into the island and smacked my butt. A spark of pain licked at my skin, and I groaned.
“Think you can give me orders now?”
“When haven’t I?” I teased breathlessly, trying to take back the control he so effortlessly stole from me.
“You’re trouble.”
He had no idea.
“So that paper?” I urged. “The list?”
His head thumped against my spine. “Yes, the damn list. Stay exactly where you are.”
I watched him track across the living room, adjusting his hardness in his shorts, a little surprised at his dedication to this list. The moment he disappeared into his office, I snatched up my phone and pulled up a messaging thread with Erel and Franc.
Alizé
Green light. Five upcoming sales. One month max.
Erel
Let the goblet games begin.
I almost felt bad for lying to Cillian, but I hardened my heart. This was for the best. At least this way, I had insurance.