CHAPTER 24 Lindsay
Lindsay
Leonardo Vitale makes for an excellent cuddle partner. The little boy fits into my arms like he was made to lie right there. I watch him for a long moment, my chest still as heavy as it was when we went to bed.
Matteo didn’t come home last night, despite promising that he would.
When he left yesterday, he had informed me that he had to take care of some matters involving the Bratva.
I wish he had told me more but he barely gave me any chance to ask questions.
One kiss on the cheek later, he was gone, leaving me pacing around the house, waiting for him to return.
When he still wasn’t back for Leo’s bedtime, I decided to start making some calls. But no one picked up the phone. Not Valentina and not even her husband. Valentina gave me his phone number a couple days back so I could call whenever there was an emergency.
Well, Matteo not showing up or getting in touch with us all night had certainly been an emergency. Even worse than his absence is the radio silence.
My gut keeps twisting with every second that passes.
Roscoe was prowling around the house last night as well, watching over us, while waiting for an update. He also hadn’t gotten anything. He’s grown even more agitated with each moment that passes.
I manage to sneak out of bed without waking Leo, pulling on my clothes and padding my feet across the room. I’ve run through every single worst-case scenario between last night and today, each one worse than the last.
Roscoe’s still on the other side of my door. His eyes are a little red from the lack of sleep when I emerge.
“Still nothing?” I ask in a soft whisper.
He shakes his head.
“D-do you think he’s…” I start to voice my biggest, deepest fear, but he stops me by raising a palm.
“All due respect, miss, but I’m superstitious. If you say it, it might come true.”
For some reason that makes me smile. Deep down, despite his little hard exterior, Roscoe’s a gentle giant. I’ve seen how much he cares for Leo and Matteo. He’d do anything to protect them.
“He’s fine,” I say instead, covering up my harsh breathing. “He probably just had car trouble over the night in an area without cell service.”
“Probably,” Roscoe agrees.
I lean against the wall by his side, thinking over the last two days.
Since I got over my initial shock about the pregnancy, all I’ve felt is numb.
I know I should be doing something. Telling Matteo.
Making an appointment with a gynecologist to ensure the baby’s okay. Instead, I’ve been avoiding my problem.
That might as well be my second superpower. Avoidance.
My phone ringing startles me half to death. I squeal, clutching my chest, while Roscoe immediately stands up straighter. When I check the screen, it’s Valentina. I pick up the call before I’ve expelled a full breath.
“He’s fine,” my best friend says as soon as the line connects. “He just lost a lot of blood last night.”
“Where is he?” I question lowly, so many things sliding through my chest I don’t know where to begin.
I focus on the relief, though. Because at least he’s alive.
Roscoe and I jump into action immediately after the call ends. I reenter my bedroom, heading straight for the sleeping little boy.
“Leo, I’ll be back soon, okay?” I say softly.
His eyes flit open, and he looks at me with the cutest befuddled expression.
“Are you going to see Daddy? Is he okay?” he asks quietly, and I force myself to nod.
The question tugs painfully at my heart, far more than I’m prepared for.
Why would a little boy have to ask if his father is okay?
My throat tightens as I fight back tears. Of course Leo knows more than he should about the life he was born into. Children always know, even when you try to shield them from it.
They hear the whispers. See the bruises. Notice the tension in every hurried phone call and every late-night disappearance.
But hearing that fear in his voice breaks something inside me. A child shouldn’t have to wonder if his father is coming home alive.
Instinctively, my hand drifts to my stomach.
To the baby growing inside me.
Another innocent child tied to a world built on violence and bloodshed before they’ve even taken their first breath.
“He’s fine, sweet boy.”
“I want to go see him too.” Leo sits up. “Where is he?”
“Your Uncle Sal and Aunt Val’s,” I tell him. “And I know you want to see your dad, but how about I go first and make sure everything is absolutely okay? As soon as I get to him, I’m putting my phone in his hand and calling so you can talk to him.”
He nods slowly. “Okay.”
I lean closer to the bed, taking a seat on it and pulling him into a big hug.
“I’m happy you’re here, Lin. It’s great.”
My heart thaws. “I’m really glad I’m here, too, sweetie.”
He’s quiet for a moment, picking at the edge of the blanket. Then, in a smaller voice: “Lin?”
“Yeah, bud?”
He doesn’t look up right away. When he does, his eyes are very serious for a five-year-old.
“I have a mommy. Daddy showed me pictures of her. She sends them at Christmas.” He pauses. “But she’s not here. She’s never here.”
My throat closes. I don’t say anything. I wait.
“Can you be my mommy too?”
Oh my god, hold back the tears, Lin. Fucking Sara.
How could you walk away from this?
I blink hard. I will not cry in front of this child. I will not fall apart right now.
I cup his small face in both hands and look him dead in the eyes.
“What? I am one thousand percent your mommy, kiddo. And don’t you ever forget it.”
His whole face splits open into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on him. He throws his arms around my neck and squeezes with every ounce of his strength.
I hold on just as tight.
I give him a kiss on the cheek, and then I leave.
I have spent years dismantling men who thought themselves untouchable. I have stared down mob lawyers and sat across from killers and never once let my hands shake. I have built cases brick by brick against people the system refused to touch, and I have won.
Yet… nothing, not one moment in any of it, prepared me for a five-year-old boy asking me to be his mother.
I head into my closet to get dressed and then leave the house with my guards in tow. When we arrive on the estate, I’m immediately shown up to the second-floor bedroom.
There are men milling about the compound in various states of disarray. I try not to let the sight of their blood, cuts, and scrapes dampen my spirit. I don’t see any member of the family until I’m pushing the door open.
When I do, it reveals all the brothers in various spots around the room. And then there’s Valentina seated at his bedside. Matteo’s on the bed, shirtless, with his middle bandaged. And he’s awake, his back against the headboard. My entire world narrows down to him and only him.
I don’t stop for a second before climbing into the bed as well. He’s ready to hold me as soon as I wrap my arms around him.
“Don’t ever do that again,” I say against his chest.
“Sorry I worried you, baby,” he murmurs softly.
I fight the tears welling up in my eyes, pulling away so I can look at him clearly.
“What happened?”
“I got stabbed.”
My lips tilt down in a frown. The indifference in his tone rubs me the wrong way.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I snap, smacking the side of his chest.
He huffs out a breath, bending over slightly. “Considering I had to get at least a pint of blood donated to me last night, I’d say you should treat me like precious cargo.”
“The blood was from me,” a voice speaks up, and I finally consider the other people in the room.
It’s Raffaele, and I feel a slight chill as I watch him twirling a knife in his hands. He looks up at me with a grin that makes me feel even more threatened. I scoot closer to Matteo.
“You donated?” I ask.
“Gave that asshole my precious blood and he didn’t even say thank you.”
“To be fair, it’s kind of his blood too,” I point out. “You’re brothers, right?”
Matteo chuckles at my side. “That’s what I said.”
Raffaele snarls, “Aren’t the two of you perfect for each other?”
I smile at that, still feeling a little unsettled in his presence.
It’s his aura, I think. Even when he smiles, you have no idea if he’s about to hurt you and laugh about it or simply laugh.
“You’re welcome. Now, would you like the knife that was plunged into your boyfriend’s side or can I keep it?”
I raise both my hands up, my tone cautious. “All yours.”
“Thanks.”
I lean closer to whisper into Matteo’s ear. “Your brother scares me.”
“He scares a lot of people, baby,” he says, rubbing my back.
I fuss over him for a couple more minutes before grabbing my phone to call Leo. While Matteo talks to his son, my eyes meet Valentina’s. I’ve been wanting to talk to my best friend for days and this is my chance.
She immediately understands, getting to her feet, and after gesturing to Matteo that I’m stepping outside, I follow her.
“What’s wrong? Well, besides the obvious, of course,” she asks once we’re safely away from the room.
The words are wrenched out of my lips before I even have a chance to stop them, “Valentina, I think I’m pregnant.”
She falls to a stop, slowly turning so she can face me.
“You what?”
I nod, my nerves growing a little erratic with the confession. Now that I’ve said it, it feels like something I’ve put into the world, something I can never take back.
“I took a test,” I say shakily. “It was positive.”
Her eyes grow wide and she reaches for both my hands, taking them in hers.
“Okay, breathe. Those tests usually aren’t a hundred percent accurate. Since when do you think you’ve been pregnant?”
“Probably since that first night we… you know.” My voice cracks. “The timing lines up. I took a test and it was positive. Oh god, what am I going to do?”
“Okay, breathe. That was, like, two months ago, right? And you haven’t had any symptoms,” she states. “It’s possible you’re not actually pregnant. It could have been a false positive, Lin.”
I love her for her optimism but there’s a feeling sliding through my gut. I know deep down there’s a baby growing in my belly in this very moment.