CHAPTER FIFTEEN #3
“I just do,” I say, my chest heaving.
“Do you have any clue what I do down there? There aren’t any sweet nothings or beautiful endings, Liliana. I don’t fuck the way you want to be fucked down there.”
My eyes narrow, “You don’t know how I want to be fucked.”
I don’t want him to fuck me in a bed, his or mine, because that will feel too intimate.
I already feel raw and exposed after all the confessions of the night.
If he takes me to his bed, I know I’ll detonate.
All the feelings crashing through me will explode and then I won’t know how to handle myself.
I want him. But I also want distance.
I think he’s amazing. And the guilt at the truth I’m hiding from him makes me want to die. I just need to put some space between us. But I also want to bring him comfort. Make him feel something other than grief and loss.
His eyes darken with anger. “No.”
“What?”
“I said fucking no, Liliana. I’m not fucking you down there.”
“Why the hell not? You took Vicky down there, right? And countless of other women I’m sure,” I state, jealousy burning a hole through my stomach. “Just fuck me like you fucked them.”
Rafaelle stares me down hard. He’s moved back from me since I started talking and the space between us makes me feel empty. I just want his hands back on mine. I want him so bad I can barely think straight.
A muscle ticks in his jaw, “How do you know about Vicky?”
I wish he wouldn’t say her name like that. With familiarity. It makes me feel even worse.
Envy is a sin, Liliana, I remind myself.
“I saw her name on your phone. She’s been texting you,” I say, unwilling to throw Raul under the bus. Mostly because I’m sure Rafaelle would actually kill him. “I never would have pegged you for a guy with a girlfriend.”
“She’s not my fucking girlfriend and you know that otherwise you wouldn’t be begging me to fuck you.”
Shame wells in my chest at his words. And I start to rethink my life decisions.
He’s right. This is all so stupid. I need to take a step back and I need to think clearly. This, me and him, it won’t work out. Sleeping with him again is an absolutely terrible idea.
I open my mouth to say so but he must sense it because he snaps, “No. We’re going down there.”
“What?” I breathe, my head swimming.
“You asked me to fuck you like I fuck all the others and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
My heart pounds in my chest and I want to backtrack with everything in me. My mind and heart scream at me to tell him the truth.
I don’t want that at all.
But it’s too late. He whirls around, heading for the door and practically rips it open. The anger in his expression should scare me but I’m more nervous about what’s going to happen next.
“Come on, then, little siren,” he says lowly. “Let’s play.”
I follow him through the hallways to the door that leads down to the basement, I’m guessing. His entire body is rigid and tense with anger while I count my breaths in my head, trying not to grow faint.
The second we walk down the stairs, I gasp.
It is nothing like I was expecting. It’s a huge space, with a boxing ring right in the middle of it.
And then there are doors in the corners.
I shiver at the thought of what lies behind them while Rafaelle walks with purpose towards one, unlocking it and entering without a backwards glance.
The sex room is somewhat exactly how I imagined it would look and nothing like it at all. But I only get a couple of seconds to look around before my gaze collides with Rafaelle’s dark ones. And he still looks angry as hell.
The kind of anger that should make me want to stay away for my own good. But I never know what’s good for me.
I stand there self-consciously for a moment while he stares at me, like he’s considering whether to toss me off a building or run me over with his car. Then his jaw tightens, and he runs a hand through his hair. I’m thinking he’s going to change his mind and save us both from this situation.
Instead, he inhales a breath through his nostrils and fixes me with a heated look.
“Take off your clothes, Liliana,” he orders.
He doesn’t sound like the Rafaelle I’m used to. The one that confessed to adopting a little girl. The one that told me I was a light that would always burn bright.
He sounds like a king of the underworld. Darkness made flesh.
My breath hitches, “Rafaelle…”
“Don’t make me say it again.”
Goosebumps spread across my skin.
Run, run, run, a voice chants in my head.
I have no clue what I’ve just gotten myself into. But I also can’t back out now. I asked for this and I’m going to see it through till the end. So after a quick mental pep talk, I reach for the back of my dress to unzip it.
And then I let the fabric fall to the ground.
The look he gives me sears, hot and cold, making me shiver while heating me up from the inside. My clit tingles for friction, even now, despite the situation I’ve found myself in.
I’m unable to focus on anything else but his presence hyper aware and sensitive about what he’s going to do next.