14. Maeve #2
They’re fucking assholes, but they know what they’re doing.
Killian holds up my hand, pressing it into a fist. “Then we’ll do what we can.”
The elevator doors open, a bell chiming into the silence of the hallway. He leads me through the doors, his touch igniting the same heat as a few nights ago. I hid it under the rage and heartbreak, but it’s stronger now.
It’s a damned love that’s never been extinguished. I tried to kill it, destroy it, crush it under my wrath. But it won’t die, no matter what I do.
Love. Not loved. I’ve never stopped loving Killian Linwood.
And that makes him dangerous. He could break me, destroy me with a few words, and his absence. Where would that leave the clan—where would that leave my family?
I’d be useless again. Vulnerable. I can’t let that happen.
“Problem?”
“I can’t do this.”
Nodding, he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Fine. We’ll take a break, get some rest?—”
“I can’t do this with you,” I stress. “I can’t have you here.
I can’t feel you always around me. I can’t have you in this house.
” His dark stare captures mine, and my chest expands, breath caught.
“I have to focus on my clan. I can’t have you here, distracting me, pushing me.
What can I give you to make you leave me alone?
” I feel fucking crazy, and I need it to stop.
Stepping close, he stares down at me, and I tilt my head, keeping his gaze.
The room shifts, changes, possessed with something unholy as his eyes drag across my face.
Down my neck and over my chest, fire follows in its wake.
Slowly, reverently, he picks up my sore hand, studying it in the low light.
“I told you what I want. Why I’m here.”
Scoffing, I try to look away, but I’m stuck to him. “Me. To keep me alive. Why do I matter to you?”
“Because,” he drawls, placing it back to my side.
He slides his hand behind my neck, thumb pushing my head further back like a hinge.
“You hold my heart in your hands. If you die, I will follow you into Hell because I refuse to be on this earth a moment without you. And I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, Princess. ”
My bottom lip trembles.
Leaning close, his lips brush mine. “Having you here hurts,” I confess. Remembering how he felt between my legs, his strength scaring away the bad memories, undoes something in my chest.
I can’t be the captain with him here. I’ll turn into some weak girl—and I am not weak.
He stills, eyes focused on my mouth. An angry wraith, debating on how to take my soul.
Then he smiles. “Good.”
Biting my bottom lip, I gasp as he sucks on it, claiming it. I try to step away, but his arm circles my waist, pulling me close. Chests pressed, he hooks his leg to trap me, tongue tracing every corner of my lips. He doesn’t kiss me—no. He brands me.
“You’re going to kill me.”
Pulling back, his gaze flickers with despicable mirth.
“You’re killing me, just by fucking existing.
” Searching my eyes, his nose brushes mine.
“Every time I smell your perfume, every time I think of that soft fucking moan as I enter you, every time I remember the heat of your body when you slept next to mine—I die. Because you’re not there when I wake up. ”
“I’m not leaving, Princess. Get fucking used to it.”
He drops me, my mouth wet from his ministrations.
Smiling down at me, I touch my lips, glaring. “You think this is a joke? I can’t function with you?—”
“Neither can I,” he growls, grabbing my throat again. “I can’t fucking breathe when you don’t look at me. I can’t think when you’re out of my sight. You fucking torment me.”
“You think this is easy for me? I can’t lead when I’m constantly thinking about you.”
Shoving me away, he narrows his eyes. “I don’t want it to be easy for you. I want you to beg for me again, the way I would beg for you. You belong to me, Princess. In life—or death. We’re inevitable, you and me, remember? Like the moon and sun.”
I scoff, love burning away to anger. “Or as inevitable as your death at my hands.”
He chuckles, hands fisting at his sides. “If you don’t want me to fuck you again, stop flirting. It’s sending a mixed signal.”
Turning on his heel—I have to get away from him—he calls back. He doesn’t see the problem with needing someone who could destroy you—not in this world.
“If you’re not going to bed, I assume you’re going to check files and run the dates. Look for a connection. See who might be in bed with the Board.”
My body vibrates—pissed off and fucking dripping. “And if I am?”
Killian stops, smirking back at me. “I’ll help.”
Fisting my hands at my side, I wince with the pain. But it’s welcomed. It clears the fog, and I carefully pack up all those emotions. The walls build back up, and I ignore how utterly messed up he makes me.
Killian Linwood is the only man I’ve ever loved who understands this darkness inside me. Who doesn’t run from my demons, but embraces them as if they’re a piece of himself.
But if I give in, he’ll leave me a bloody mess of broken shards, too jagged to be put back together again. I can’t afford that attack.
“Don’t get in my way.”