Chapter Two #2
Marin slapped her hand to her forehead. “That damn movie. So great. And that soundtrack—amazing! But we watched it like a month ago, and it seems to have inspired a whole new phobia in this kid’s life.
He seriously insisted we needed to get a ‘go bag’ and put a few of his favorite stuffies in it ‘just in case.’”
“No way this kid is five years old. He’s a sixty-five-year-old man living in a little kid’s body.”
“You have no idea,” Marin affirmed, pouring us each a bit more wine and taking a seat at the counter. “And besides, you aren’t alone. I mean, yes, you live alone, but you have us.”
I looked up at the ceiling. “Not to mention a smoke detector with fresh batteries. So don’t you worry about me.”
“El, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I always worry about you. I’m your best friend. It’s my job. And your show today. I know it’s a little bit hyperbolic, at least I hope it is, but I can’t help but wonder how much of your schtick you’ve actually bought into.”
“What do you mean? I do think love is a farce, and I’m happy with my life. No strings. No real family obligations,” I said with a shrug.
Kind of hard to have family obligations when you don’t have much of a relationship with your family to begin with, but I didn’t say that part out loud.
“I’ve got friends. You and Ravi. Your beautiful kids.
The girls. Pickles. A great career. I’m good.
Really. Girl Scout honor,” I said, raising three fingers on my right hand.
“I love you, but Pickles isn’t a substitute for genuine human connection,” Marin said, crossing her arms as she leaned against the counter.
I opened my mouth to argue, but she held up a hand, cutting me off.
“You haven’t dated anyone seriously since the Great Matty Disaster of ’18.
You’ve let that situation, and all your family stuff, tarnish your idea of love so much that you’ve convinced yourself you’re better off alone. And that’s not fair either.”
I sighed. She just didn’t get it. How could she?
She was happily married with a unicorn of a husband and parents, not to mention unicorn in-laws who were more of a blessing than a burden.
Marin didn’t have to build walls. Unlike me, she had nothing she needed to constantly brace for.
No letdowns, no sharp edges, just the familiar ease of a life that was steady enough to trust. That was exactly why I’d had to let things end with Leo in Mykonos this past summer.
After all the heartache I’d endured, I’d managed to flip the script of my life, hardening my heart into something almost unbreakable, and I wasn’t about to let him, or anyone, shatter it.
Sipping my wine, I reached for another handful of Chex Mix.
“Anyway, my so-called cynicism is what has two hundred women paying good money for tickets to see me at a Galentine’s Day event tonight.
That mindset is what’s now propelling me toward a potential spot with Sirius Radio and a big-time book deal. ”
“I just want your life to be what you decide it should be, not something you retreat into, that’s all.
Maybe see what’s out there with an open mind and an open heart, and if after that you still feel like being on your own is what’s best for you, then great, I’ll happily throw you a ‘Ringless Rager’ or a ‘Lone Wolf Luau’ or whatever else you want. ”
I would always appreciate Marin looking out for me.
Since our elementary-school days, she’d been the one dusting me off from every misstep and rooting me on to keep going.
In a childhood filled with chaos and confusion, she was one of the few people I’d known I could always rely on and the reason I’d never felt completely alone in it all.
But even so, I’d never told Marin about Leo or our time together.
For as well as she knew me, she’d never understand why I’d chosen to walk away.
We polished off the bottle of wine, letting Ethan and Sophia get in a solid nap while I steered the conversation to more mundane things, like how the entire Sex and the City franchise had been ruined by the And Just Like That spin-off, especially without the character of Samantha holding all the other ladies accountable, all things Taylor and Travis, and hotly debated whether we were in the age demographic to consider a weighted vest for our morning walks in the park.
We came to no great resolutions on any of it. When the kids finally woke up, we played with Pickles, as promised, before I shuffled them out the door in enough time to get ready for my speaking event.
“See you at mah-jongg on Thursday. I’ll grab those olives and that cheese you like from Murray’s to bring.”
“You don’t have to, but I won’t fight you either,” Marin joked as she finished zipping up Ethan’s coat and securing Sophia’s hat onto her head. “Give Auntie El a big smooch before we go.”
In tandem, they ran up to tackle me, and I allowed them to plow me onto the floor. Kissing them rapid fire on their chubby cheeks, I rolled them around in a fit of giggles before helping them to their feet and sending them on their way.