Chapter Twenty-Seven #2
Leo laughed. “That’s funny you said that. I seriously think about that sort of thing all the time. Like a few years ago, I had to have an emergency root canal from an infected abscess. Would’ve taken me out in a heartbeat if I’d been born back then.”
“Exactly. Something like swimmer’s ear could have been your ultimate demise. Pink eye? An ingrown toenail? Thank God for antibiotics and penicillin. And that we were born in the twentieth century.”
“Right? Imagine the words on your gravestone reading, ‘Here lies Leo. He died of a paper cut.’” He smiled with a cool easiness that swept over me, almost completely distracting me from the throbbing in my foot.
“Well, in this case, I think you’ll live,” he said, smoothing over the bandage one last time.
“So tell me, what did I miss these past few days? What’s been going on with the wedding? ”
The questions were casual, but they invited so much more than an easy answer.
And more than that, getting into all the family and Matty drama would most certainly pop this blissful bubble of a day I was having.
“Oh, you know, nothing much. Just the usual craziness that surrounds all of Sonja’s nuptials. Really, I should be used to it by now.”
“Nothing much? That guy eyeing you at breakfast like a boy who’d lost his puppy didn’t seem like ‘nothing much.’” Leo leaned back on his elbows, the rock beneath us still warm in the midday sun.
So he had noticed Matty tracking me in the dining room.
“Oh, Matty. Matt. My mom’s best friend Izzy’s son. We . . . we grew up together.”
He ran a hand across his jaw, a slight smile on his face, and said, “And let me guess, he was madly in love with you, as all the boys must’ve been.”
“Actually, we were madly in love with each other.” The words slipped out before I could stop them.
He sat up. “Did you date?”
I popped up next to him. “Yes. And it ended . . . spectacularly badly. About five years ago.”
Leo was quiet for a beat, then asked, “So is he the reason?”
“The reason?”
“For the rules. The radio show. Your armor?”
My breath hitched. The question landed . . . a bull’s-eye. It was like he had a sniper’s scope on my softest spot, and instead of holding fire, he’d unknowingly pulled the trigger.
Was Matty the reason?
I mean, I started Love Is a Four-Letter Word after I caught him cheating. So many of my commandments came directly from the wreckage of that relationship, the pitfalls, the blind spots I’d ignored, the red flags I’d waved away like they weren’t burning right in front of me.
But was he the sole reason?
No.
I was the product of a thousand little heartbreaks. Some mine, some inherited, some observed.
Matty was just the last straw.
“Matty didn’t just break my heart, he broke my trust, my belief in something real.
He was my boyfriend, yes, but also my best friend.
He knew my history. He’d watched me clean up every mess, understood that I was the one holding it all together every time my mom’s heart got broken, how her pain always landed in my lap.
And still, he did the one thing I thought he never would.
So when he cheated, it wasn’t just a betrayal, it was the final blow.
Like the floor dropped out from under me. ”
“So then what’s he doing here?”
“We haven’t spoken, not a single word, since we broke up. He said he wanted to apologize and explain himself. But I’ll never move past it. I mean, how do you get over something like that? You don’t. You can’t.”
He nodded along as I spoke, like he was taking it all in and giving it full consideration.
“I don’t believe that there’s one right way,” he said gently.
“But maybe forgiveness starts with realizing you’re not the same person you were back then.
And neither is he. People screw up, but that doesn’t always mean they’re beyond redemption.
And even if it does, sometimes it’s not even about them anymore.
It’s about you. You, being able to finally let go of the hurt you’ve been carrying around like .
. . like a suitcase you never set down.”
I swallowed, feeling that familiar instinct to run, to shut down the rest of the conversation before it got even more real.
But over these past few weeks, brick by painful brick, Leo’d managed to break through more of my walls than anyone had in years.
He was getting dangerously close to my heart now, but I didn’t move.
I didn’t want to. And for as much as it scared me, he was right—I wasn’t the same person I used to be.
This version of me, the one who had taken the leap, seized the chance, gone to Paris—all those decisions had been guiding me here to Leo and this moment in Belize. And for the first time in a very long time, it felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Pulling him back down, I snuggled in close next to him with my head on his chest, dozing off to the sound of his heartbeat thudding under my ear.
The breeze was cooling as the sun dipped lower in the sky.
Leo checked his watch. “We better get going if we want to make it back in time for the rehearsal dinner.”
“Can we stay here? Just a little bit longer?” I pulled his arms around me like a blanket. “Just like this?”
He blinked, surprised, then drew me closer without hesitation. “Yeah, just like this. As long as you want.”