Chapter Twenty-Nine #2
“So let’s raise a toast to second chances. May these two finally stick the landing.”
I sipped from my raised glass to the sound of a few sparse claps and a room full of even more puzzled looks.
I set my flute down a little too hard, the dull thunk of it against the linen-draped table louder than intended. Marin leaned toward me, tight lipped, her eyes scanning mine for signs of a deeper unraveling.
I offered her a vague shrug, then excused myself with a mumbled, “I need some air.”
Leo’s hand brushed my arm as I pushed my chair back. “You want me to come with you?”
I shook my head. “I just need a minute. I’ll be right back.”
I wandered toward the edge of the garden, the beat of the band’s bass still pulsing faintly through the ground, and leaned against a whitewashed column that framed the patio. Inside, laughter and clinking glasses painted a much cheerier picture than the one looping in my head.
I hadn’t even heard the footsteps behind me until Matty’s voice broke the silence.
“You okay?”
I turned sharply. “Seriously?”
He held up his hands. “Just asking. You looked—”
“Stop, just stop! Jesus, Matty, what do you want from me?” I snapped, crossing my arms tightly across my chest.
“Nothing. I just want to make sure you’re okay. That’s it. I just didn’t want you to be alone, not if you didn’t want to be.”
I opened my mouth, ready to hurl something sharp and cutting back at him about how he didn’t get to play the good guy now, but I stopped when I saw Leo approaching through the open patio doors.
Leo’s brow furrowed as he stepped into the circle of light. “Everything okay out here?”
Matty glanced at me. “Yeah, great. I was just leaving. El, I’ll be inside if you want to talk.”
He turned and disappeared into the shadows without waiting for a reply.
Leo watched him go, then looked back at me. “Elliot, please, talk to me. About your mom. Your dad. About . . . Matt. About any of it. All of it. I get that you’re hurting, but don’t shut me out.”
“I’m not shutting you out,” I snapped. “I’m protecting what’s left of me.”
He shook his head slowly and took a few steps closer.
“Do you remember that myth I told you in Mykonos? About Atalanta and Meleager? Atalanta, the fierce huntress who swore she’d never marry.
Said she’d only consider a man who could beat her in a footrace.
But Meleager, he didn’t try to outrun her.
He ran with her. Matched her stride for stride.
Not to win, just to show her he was there.
That he understood her. That he wasn’t going anywhere.
” He looked at me, quiet and steady. “That’s all I want to do, Elliot.
Run beside you. But you won’t let me. You won’t let anyone even get close enough to try. ”
“When we met, I told you who I was. I told you I didn’t believe in love. That wasn’t some dare or gauntlet I threw down for you to overcome. It was the truth.”
“Then why? Why did you meet me in Paris?”
“I didn’t meet you in Paris! I chose my career. My future. I chose myself!” I shouted with a forcefulness that surprised us both.
“What are you talking about?” he said, his voice low but certain. “You stood with me under the lights of the Eiffel Tower and let the world fall away. Just for a moment, it was only us. Don’t rewrite it all now because you’re afraid. Afraid of getting hurt. Of letting someone in.”
“You’re the one trying to rewrite history. You show up out of nowhere, completely scrambling my compass, making me question all the things that I’ve always known to be true, and suddenly I’m supposed to forget every single thing I believe? All the rules I set to keep myself safe?”
“Fuck the rules.” He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger, lifting my gaze to his.
“You think this is about Paris or Mykonos or whatever city you can neatly file me under, but this isn’t about geography, Elliot.
This is about you. You keep telling yourself that you’re not capable of love, but it’s not true.
You’ve just built your whole life around not needing anyone, and now someone shows up who makes you feel something and you’re scrambling to convince yourself that it’s not real. That I’m not real.”
I looked away, pulling my face from his hands as my heart hammered against my ribs. “You don’t know me, Leo.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I do know you.
And it scares the hell out of you. I know you sit in the center of your world like it’s a fortress, and all your sarcasm and commandments are your armor.
I know you’d rather be right than happy.
And I know you think pushing me away will protect you.
But it won’t. It just leaves you alone.”
“Alone is safe,” I whispered.
“No, alone is familiar. Don’t confuse the two.”
The stinging that burned behind my eyes felt like a fire my tears were threatening to extinguish.
“You don’t understand what it’s been like, watching my mom fall apart over and over again, watching my dad start a new family like his old one never even mattered.
Having the last man I trusted make me feel safe .
. . and then betray me like it meant nothing.
All I’ve ever been was collateral damage.
Why the hell would I put myself in a position to be shattered like that again? ”
He stepped in close, his voice barely above a whisper. “Because maybe for once, you won’t be the girl left holding the broken pieces. Maybe this time you’re the one who gets to be held.”
He reached out like he’d done so many times before, but I pulled away. “Don’t, Leo. I . . . I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“What difference does it make?”
“All the difference in the world, actually.”
“Well, I guess there isn’t much more to say, then, is there?” I managed before turning away from him and making my way back inside the restaurant. Though Leo followed behind me, we kept to separate corners, allowing the steam from our heated argument to continue to simmer under the surface.
Catching a cab home and still not speaking, we both fell into bed without another word, the silence like a towering barricade between us.