Chapter 29 #3
My cheeks burn as I replay the moment in my head.
Crab cakes? There weren't even crab cakes on the table.
I'm the guy who rehearses quarterly earnings statements three times before delivering them.
At Kensington Pictures, my precision is legendary—a single unclear directive from me can derail a $200 million production.
Yet here I am, hallucinating appetizers because Celeste looked at me.
She's rewired something in my brain, short-circuited my usual operating system.
I haven't felt this off-balance since... hell, maybe ever.
“Well,” I say. “I meant, have you tried crab cakes in general.”
Celeste catches Tally's eye, then Olivia's, the three of them sharing a silent joke before Celeste responds.
"I'm familiar with crab cakes from around LA, and in Big Bear, and my grand international tour of Mexico, meaning Cozumel and Cabo.” She pauses, anticipating the next question. "And no, I’ve never been abroad, only Mexico and Canada. Cabo was spring break one year, a trip I paid on my 35% interest rate credit card. Cozumel was a stop on a Groupon cruise where the three of us crammed into a cabin meant for two. We took turns sleeping on the floor with just a blanket and pillow between us and the metal deck.”
"Yeah, but the lobster and prime rib night," Tally interjects.
Olivia nods enthusiastically. "All-you-can-eat.
Our girl here devoured four lobster tails plus prime rib and dessert.
Spent the rest of the night feeding the fish over the railing.
" She nudges Celeste affectionately. "Her exact words were 'When will I ever get unlimited lobster again?
' Classic Celeste—always squeezing every last drop out of an opportunity. "
Hmmm….so she does eat lobster. Interesting. I assumed she probably didn't, because…
"God, I feel like such a hypocrite about that lobster now," Celeste says, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I had no idea they—" She stops herself. "Let's just say I'm not into eating anything that screams when you cook it."
Yep. Thought so. I doubt she eats Prime Rib anymore, either.
"Factory farming is a hard no for me too.
" She glances out the window. "This one time I was driving to Kansas City to see extended family, and we passed what I thought was a ranch.
Except it was just this horrific sea of millions of cows packed together like...
I don't even know. Made me sick for days afterward. "
Tally gives me a knowing look. "Having second thoughts about the marriage yet?
" she jokes, nudging Celeste with her elbow.
"This girl's nuts about animals and is some kind of dog whisperer.
Every Thursday at that shelter, she volunteers, and I swear she wants to adopt every single animal in that place every time she goes. Olivia can tell you."
"Oh god," Olivia laughs, "you should see her phone. Hundreds of pictures. 'This one looked right into my soul, Liv!' And I'm always the bad guy reminding her about our crazy schedules and our condo’s no-pet policy. She'd bring home a pit bull tomorrow if she could."
I glance at Celeste. She's gone quiet, her fork pushing the last bite of salmon around her plate.
After a long sip of wine, she looks up with those eyes that always give her away.
"There's this pit bull at Inland Valley, where I volunteer,” she says, the words tumbling out.
"I walked her yesterday and just... fell for her.
" Her gaze darts around the room. "But a dog would mean muddy paw prints on these floors, sand everywhere after beach walks.
She'd probably howl sometimes. And I know you wouldn't want her on that ridiculously expensive bed you bought for me.” She shrugs, trying to seem casual.
"I couldn't bear making her sleep alone, so... forget I mentioned it."
“Max,” Gianni says. “You were talking about getting a dog too. You know Rosa would take care of it while you’re gone. She already said she would.”
Yeah, but Celeste wants a specific dog. And I want, more than anything, to give her the dog, but as a surprise. I could just imagine her eyes when she comes home one day to see that special dog greeting her. So, I need to ask some casual questions to see just what dog she’s talking about.
I just say nothing to Gianni and turn to Celeste. “So, a female pit bull at the shelter. How old is she?”
“She’s just a baby,” Celeste says, her eyes lighting up.
“I think she’s around 2 years old. White and brown, with a pink nose and she’s a lover.
Gives puppy kisses to everyone she meets.
” Then she shows me a picture of the dog.
“Her name is Piper.” Then she looks at her phone and hugs it to her chest.
“Today it’s Piper,” Olivia says. “Last week it was a basset hound puppy named Cleo, short for Cleopatra.”
“And the week before that it was some kind of a mutt, nobody knew exactly what breeds ran through that dog’s blood, name was Daisy.”
“And the week before that it was-”
“Yeah, I know, I obsess about a different dog every week, but Piper is the one,” Celeste says and then shakes her head.
Tally smiles. “Celeste is just a big animal lover,” she says.
“And you know the story about Tori Spelling kicking her husband out of bed because she had to have her pigs and dogs sleep with her and her husband didn’t want that?
That would be Celeste. If she had a pot belly pig and you didn’t want the pig to sleep with you guys, and you said ‘it’s me or the pig,’ Celeste would be like ‘sorry you gotta sleep on the couch, dude.’” Then she starts to laugh as Celeste gives her a look.
“Ixnay on the edbay alktay,” she says in a low voice. “We don’t sleep in the same bed, remember?”
“Oh, right,” Tally says and rolls her eyes. “Like that’s not gonna happen within a week.”
Celeste narrows her eyes. She’s apparently sobering up a bit and isn’t appreciating the fact that Tally apparently isn’t. “Let’s just call this is a night, okay?” She throws down her napkin and pushes away from the table.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Tally says. “Sorry, Celeste, I’m just teasing you like I always do. I know the score on this marriage.” Then she looks at me. “I just don’t think it’s all gonna be platonic for long. Not with the look in Max’s eyes when he thinks nobody’s looking.”
Busted. But Celeste didn’t pay attention to that last thing Tally said. Thank god.
Celeste furrows her brows and shakes her head. “I have a headache. I don’t usually day drink for a reason. It’s getting to be, what is it, 11 o’clock now? The alcohol is wearing off and everything looks as bleak as it did before we started drinking, but even worse. Excuse me.”
Celeste walks off, Tally and Olivia trailing behind, their arms around her shoulders. Tally looks back. “Sorry about this. She’s not usually like this. Don’t know what this is about, but I really should help clear the table and get the dishes in the dishwasher. Can’t leave this mess to you guys.”
“Don’t you worry about a thing,” Rosa assures her. “Don’t forget, I get paid a good salary to clean up after everybody. It’s my job. So, go.”
Celeste and her friends leave, apparently going to Celeste’s new living space, and I’m sitting at the table wondering what the hell just happened. Tally said something that triggered something in Celeste and I really need to know exactly what that thing was.
But maybe later. For now, I know how to make Celeste happy in the home. I text my personal assistant, Harry Ladue, instructing him to pick up a pit bull named Piper who’s currently a resident of the Inland Valley SPCA, tomorrow at the earliest.
But I’m not getting that dog for Celeste. That would mean that I’m crazy about her and I’m just not. No. I just want her to be happy because I don’t want her contacting TMZ with an exclusive, which she might do if she’s unhappy here.
That’s the only reason why I care about her happiness.
Really.