Chapter 1 The Forbidden Man #2
Evan looked across the drawing room while reaching for his glass and found Nathaniel already looking at him. Their eyes met for a brief moment before Nathaniel turned toward the terrace as though something outside had suddenly become fascinating.
Evan smiled to himself.
Interesting.
He hadn't seen Nathaniel in several years, but he remembered him clearly.
Everyone did. Nathaniel Cross had always carried himself like a man who expected the world to make room for him.
He was older than Richard by only a few years, but his presence had always seemed heavier than that of the other men in the room.
He spoke carefully, rarely raised his voice, and never appeared uncertain about what he wanted.
Tonight, however, Nathaniel seemed uncertain about one thing.
Evan.
That realization made Evan curious.
He didn't mistake Nathaniel's restraint for dislike. If anything, it seemed like the opposite. There was something deliberate about the way Nathaniel avoided him, as though keeping his distance required actual effort.
Evan had spent most of his life being told what other people thought he should do. His father had opinions about his education, his career, his friends, and even the kind of people he should date. Evan had learned early that people often disguised control as concern.
He had no intention of allowing Nathaniel Cross to do the same.
Evan finished his conversation with another guest and set his empty glass aside. He waited until Nathaniel was alone near the terrace before walking toward him.
Nathaniel noticed him approaching.
The older man's expression changed almost imperceptibly.
Evan found that more interesting than anything else that had happened that evening.
"Leaving already?" Evan asked.
Nathaniel looked toward the room before returning his attention to him.
"Not yet."
"You look like you're considering it."
"I've been considering it for the last hour."
Evan leaned lightly against the edge of the doorway. "Then why haven't you left?"
Nathaniel's mouth tightened.
"Your father would complain."
"That's never stopped you before."
A faint amusement appeared in Nathaniel's eyes.
"You're more confident than I remember."
"I'm older than you remember."
The words seemed to land between them with more weight than Evan intended.
Nathaniel looked at him for a moment.
"Yes," he said quietly. "You are."
There was something in his voice that made Evan's pulse shift.
He studied Nathaniel carefully.
The older man was trying very hard to keep his expression neutral. Evan had seen enough people hiding their emotions to recognize the signs. Nathaniel's shoulders were slightly tense. His jaw was tight. His gaze kept moving away and returning.
Evan wondered what exactly Nathaniel was trying not to show.
"You've been avoiding me all evening," Evan said.
"I've been talking to people."
"People you already know."
"That's generally how social gatherings work."
Evan laughed softly. "You always were good at avoiding direct answers."
"And you always were good at asking inconvenient questions."
The reminder made Evan smile.
"You remember me, then."
"I remember more than you think."
The words were quiet, almost reluctant.
Evan felt a strange warmth move through him.
"When I was seventeen, you probably thought I was annoying."
"You were."
"Probably still am."
"Possibly."
Evan laughed again.
For a few seconds, neither of them spoke. The sounds of conversation from the drawing room drifted behind them, softened by the music and the closing doors. Outside, the garden lights illuminated the dark lawn.
Nathaniel looked toward the garden.
"You should enjoy the evening."
"I am."
"You've been talking to everyone."
"I have."
"Then go back inside."
Evan raised an eyebrow.
"Are you dismissing me?"
"I'm suggesting you spend time with people your own age."
There it was.
Evan's amusement faded slightly.
"My own age?"
Nathaniel looked at him.
"You know what I mean."
"I do. I'm just wondering why it matters."
Nathaniel didn't answer.
Evan crossed his arms.
"You're doing it again."
"Doing what?"
"Deciding what I should be doing because you're older."
Nathaniel's expression hardened.
"That's not what I'm doing."
"It sounds like it."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"Then explain it."
Nathaniel stared at him.
Evan didn't look away.
He wasn't trying to provoke Nathaniel simply for the satisfaction of winning an argument. He genuinely wanted to understand the strange tension that had existed between them all evening.
Nathaniel finally sighed.
"You're twenty-three."
"I know."
"I'm forty-one."
"I can count."
"Evan."
"What?"
"This isn't appropriate."
Evan studied him.
"What's inappropriate?"
Nathaniel looked toward the drawing room again.
"You know exactly what."
"I don't."
The older man was silent.
Evan took a small step closer.
"If you're worried because I'm Richard's son, say that."
Nathaniel's eyes returned to his.
"If you're worried because I'm younger than you, say that."
Nathaniel remained silent.
"And if you're worried because you don't know what I want, you can ask me."
Something changed in Nathaniel's expression.
It was subtle, but Evan saw it.
For the first time that evening, the carefully controlled man looked genuinely unsettled.
Evan's heartbeat quickened.
He knew what he was sensing now.
Nathaniel was attracted to him.
The realization should have frightened him. Instead, it made something inside him feel dangerously alive.
Evan had never been particularly interested in men simply because they were older, wealthy, or powerful.
Nathaniel wasn't attractive because of his money or reputation.
He was attractive because of the restraint beneath all that control.
Because Evan could sense there was a man underneath the polished exterior who rarely allowed anyone close enough to see him.
And Nathaniel was looking at Evan as though he were trying very hard not to want him.
Evan wanted to know why.
"You're treating me like I'm still seventeen," he said.
Nathaniel's expression changed immediately.
"I am not."
"You are."
"I remember you at seventeen."
"And I'm twenty-three now."
"I know."
"I'm not a child."
"I never said you were."
"You don't have to say it."
Nathaniel's jaw tightened.
Evan continued, more quietly this time.
"I know the age difference. I know who my father is. I know who you are. I know exactly what people would say if they knew what was happening in this room."
Nathaniel looked almost startled.
"What is happening?"
Evan held his gaze.
"That's what I'm asking you."
Silence settled between them.
Nathaniel looked away first.
That told Evan more than an answer could have.
Evan breathed slowly, suddenly aware of how close they were standing. He could smell Nathaniel's cologne, subtle and clean. He could see the faint tension around his eyes.
"If you don't want me anywhere near you," Evan said, "tell me."
Nathaniel looked at him.
"And I'll respect it."
The older man's expression softened slightly.
"But don't tell me what I want. Don't decide that for me."
Nathaniel's eyes remained fixed on his.
"You don't understand the consequences."
"Maybe I do."
"You don't."
"Then let me decide whether they're worth it."
Nathaniel shook his head.
"You are too young to understand what a relationship like this could cost you."
Evan felt frustration rise.
"You're doing it again."
"I'm trying to protect you."
"I don't need protection from my own decisions."
Nathaniel went completely still.
Evan stepped closer, stopping with enough distance between them to leave the choice entirely with Nathaniel.
"I'm twenty-three," he said. "I have my own career, my own money, my own apartment, and my own life. You don't get to look at me and decide I'm incapable of knowing what I want simply because you're eighteen years older."
Nathaniel's gaze dropped briefly before returning to Evan's face.
There was something unmistakable in his expression now.
Desire.
It wasn't imagination.
It wasn't nostalgia.
Evan knew the difference.
Nathaniel wanted him.
And Nathaniel was terrified of wanting him.
Evan's heart beat harder.
"That's the part you don't understand," Nathaniel said quietly. "I know you're an adult."
"Then treat me like one."
Nathaniel stared at him for several long seconds.
Then he stepped back.
The distance between them returned immediately.
"I think you should go back inside."
Evan felt disappointed, but he refused to let it show.
"Because you don't want this?"
Nathaniel's expression was almost pained.
"Because I want to make sure this doesn't become something neither of us can undo."
With that, Nathaniel walked past him and returned to the gathering.
Evan remained near the terrace doors.
He watched Nathaniel disappear into the crowd, watched him immediately become the controlled, composed businessman everyone expected him to be.
But Evan had seen something else tonight.
He had seen the hesitation.
The tension.
The attraction Nathaniel had tried to hide.
Most importantly, Evan knew what he had felt when Nathaniel looked at him.
He wasn't confused.
He wasn't being pressured.
He wasn't looking for someone to rescue him.
He wanted Nathaniel.
The thought should have made him step away.
Instead, Evan smiled faintly to himself.
Nathaniel could keep pretending the attraction wasn't there.
Evan wasn't going to pretend he hadn't felt it.
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