Chapter 2 The Mistake #2
Usually, returning home brought him a sense of order. His house was quiet, predictable, and entirely his. Nothing happened there without his knowledge or permission.
Tonight, it offered no refuge.
He could still hear Evan saying, It wasn't.
Nathaniel closed his eyes.
It wasn't a mistake to Evan.
That was the problem.
He stepped out of the car and walked into the house. The lights came on automatically as he entered, illuminating the polished floors and carefully arranged furniture. Everything was exactly where it belonged.
Nathaniel wished his thoughts were equally orderly.
He removed his jacket and placed it over a chair rather than hanging it in the closet. The small act of disorder irritated him immediately.
He poured himself a glass of water and stood beside the kitchen island.
He needed to think logically.
First, Evan was Richard's son.
That fact alone should have ended the matter.
Richard trusted Nathaniel. Their friendship had survived decades. Nathaniel had been present for birthdays, business milestones, family celebrations, and difficult moments. He had watched Evan grow up.
That history created a boundary Nathaniel had no right to cross.
Second, Evan was twenty-three.
Nathaniel was forty-one.
Eighteen years separated them.
It wasn't simply a number. Nathaniel had already lived through experiences Evan was only beginning to encounter. He had built a company, lost people he loved, made mistakes he rarely discussed, and learned to protect himself from emotional complications.
Evan was standing at the beginning of his adult life.
Nathaniel had no business pulling him into his.
Third, there was the power difference.
Nathaniel had money, influence, and experience. Evan was still establishing himself professionally. Even if Evan insisted that he was independent, Nathaniel couldn't ignore how easily the relationship could become unbalanced.
The sensible thing was obvious.
Walk away.
Nathaniel took a slow drink of water.
He would avoid being alone with Evan. He would keep their conversations polite. He would make sure there were no more moments that could be misunderstood.
Eventually, the attraction would disappear.
That was how these things worked.
At least, that was what Nathaniel told himself.
His phone vibrated on the counter.
A message from Richard.
Good seeing you tonight. Evan seems happier being home. We should catch up next week.
Nathaniel stared at the message.
He felt a sudden weight settle in his chest.
Richard had no idea what had happened.
He had no idea his oldest friend had kissed his son.
Nathaniel immediately typed a response.
Of course. Let me know when.
He sent it before he could reconsider.
Then he placed the phone facedown.
The guilt came quickly.
He had spent years considering Richard family.
How could he have allowed himself to look at Evan differently?
Nathaniel walked toward the living room and stopped beside the window.
He remembered Evan standing in the hallway.
He remembered the way Evan had looked at him before the kiss.
There had been no uncertainty.
No fear.
Evan had known exactly what he wanted.
Nathaniel's jaw tightened.
That made walking away harder.
If Evan had been confused, Nathaniel could have convinced himself that ending things was simply the responsible choice.
But Evan hadn't been confused.
He had looked at Nathaniel like a man making a decision.
Nathaniel turned away from the window.
He needed distance.
He needed time.
Most of all, he needed to make sure he never kissed Evan again.
The following morning, Nathaniel returned to work early.
He buried himself in meetings, contracts, financial reports, and calls. By lunchtime, he had gone through enough paperwork to occupy several days.
It didn't help.
Every quiet moment allowed his thoughts to return.
He remembered Evan saying his name.
He remembered the warmth of his hand on Nathaniel's wrist.
He remembered the look in his eyes.
Nathaniel finally closed the folder in front of him.
This was becoming ridiculous.
He had spent an entire night trying to convince himself that a single kiss meant nothing, yet he was still thinking about it.
His office door opened.
Nathaniel looked up.
Evan stood outside.
For a moment, neither man spoke.
Nathaniel felt every carefully constructed defense inside him rise at once.
"What are you doing here?"
Evan stepped into the office.
"We need to talk."
"About last night?"
"Yes."
Nathaniel stood.
"There is nothing to discuss."
Evan's expression hardened.
"There is."
Nathaniel moved toward his desk.
"I already told you. It was a mistake."
Evan stared at him.
"You really believe that?"
"Yes."
"No, you don't."
Nathaniel looked at him sharply.
"You don't get to tell me what I believe."
"And you don't get to tell me what happened."
Nathaniel went quiet.
Evan took another step into the room.
"You kissed me."
"I know."
"You wanted to."
Nathaniel's silence was enough.
Evan's voice softened.
"I wanted you to kiss me."
Nathaniel looked away.
"Evan."
"I'm not asking you to pretend we have a future."
"Good."
"I'm not asking you to promise me anything."
"Then what do you want?"
"I want you to stop calling it something it wasn't."
Nathaniel looked back at him.
Evan's expression was calm, but there was hurt beneath it.
"It wasn't nothing," Evan said.
Nathaniel swallowed.
"You don't understand."
"Then help me understand."
"There are consequences."
"I know."
"Your father."
"I know."
"The age difference."
"I know."
"My position."
"I know."
"Then why are you doing this?"
Evan took a breath.
"Because I wanted you."
Nathaniel's chest tightened.
Evan didn't look away.
"I wanted the kiss. I wanted you to stop fighting whatever was happening between us for one minute. I knew you were trying to stay away from me, and I knew why. But I also knew you wanted me."
Nathaniel shook his head.
"You shouldn't."
"Why?"
"Because this isn't simple."
"I never said it was."
"You could regret it."
"That's my decision."
Nathaniel stared at him.
Evan continued before he could interrupt.
"You keep talking about protecting me, but you haven't asked what I want. You keep deciding that because you're older, you know what is best for me."
"I have more experience."
"That doesn't mean you know me better than I know myself."
Nathaniel had no immediate response.
Evan's expression softened.
"I'm not asking you to betray my father. I'm not asking you to abandon your life. I'm asking you to be honest about one thing."
Nathaniel's voice was barely audible.
"What?"
"Did you want that kiss?"
The question hung between them.
Nathaniel could have lied.
He could have said no.
He could have told Evan that the moment had been an error caused by circumstances and emotion.
But Evan was standing there asking for honesty, and Nathaniel suddenly realized that another lie would be more cruel than the truth.
"Yes."
Evan's expression changed.
Nathaniel forced himself to continue.
"I wanted it."
The words felt dangerous once spoken aloud.
Evan didn't smile.
He simply nodded, as though he had needed to hear that one truth.
Nathaniel looked down at his desk.
"The attraction is real," he admitted. "That's all I can give you."
Evan's eyes remained on him.
"For now?"
Nathaniel didn't answer.
Because he didn't know.
He knew only that the attraction had already become something harder to control than he wanted to admit.
He moved toward the door.
"This has to stop."
Evan stepped aside.
Nathaniel passed him without looking back.
He walked down the hallway and toward the elevator, each step taking him farther from the conversation and somehow no farther from Evan.
When the elevator doors closed, Nathaniel finally allowed himself to exhale.
He had admitted the truth.
The attraction was real.
That should have made things simpler.
Instead, it made everything more dangerous.
As the elevator descended, Nathaniel stared at his reflection in the polished doors.
For the first time in years, he was facing a problem that money, experience, and discipline could not solve.
He wanted Evan.
And despite every reason he had given himself to walk away, some part of him already knew that wanting Evan was not going to disappear simply because Nathaniel refused to name it.
The battle had barely begun.
Nathaniel was already losing.
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