Chapter 9 - The Quiet
The next two days were worse.
Much worse.
I didn't sleep properly Saturday night.
Or Sunday night.
I barely ate.
I tried watching TV.
Couldn't focus.
Tried reading.
Read the same page three times.
Tried cleaning my apartment.
Somehow ended up standing in the kitchen for five minutes with absolutely no idea what I'd gone in there for.
My brain simply refused to cooperate.
Every time I thought I was finally distracted, that strange ache in my chest reminded me that apparently, I wasn't.
Which was ridiculous.
It shouldn't matter.
It didn't matter.
I had absolutely no claim on Adrian Vale. I didn't want a claim on Adrian Vale. I'd spent most of my time wishing the man would leave me alone.
So there was no logical reason for the strange ache in my chest to still be there.
And yet-
There it was.
Maya called me Saturday.
Then again Sunday.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine."
"I'm tired."
"You were tired yesterday."
"I remain tired."
She went quiet.
I knew that silence.
Maya was thinking.
I didn't want Maya thinking.
Thinking led to questions, and questions were currently my natural enemy.
"I'm okay," I repeated.
She didn't believe me.
Neither did I.
Monday morning, I went to work.
That was what normal people did when their lives were completely normal and nothing whatsoever had happened.
They went to work.
So I went.
I answered emails.
Reviewed drawings.
Updated the Solara package.
Went to meetings.
Talked when someone talked to me.
But not much.
I didn't really feel like talking.
Which, apparently, was alarming enough that several people noticed.
Ben asked if I was sick.
Nicole asked if I had a headache.
Maya mostly watched me.
That was worse.
I didn't make jokes.
Didn't wander over to anyone's desk.
Didn't participate when Ben started complaining dramatically about a client email.
I just worked.
And then Adrian walked into our area.
My chest tightened immediately.
I hated that.
He stopped beside my desk.
"Ms. Stone."
I looked up.
Light shirt.
Tie.
Perfect hair.
Controlled expression.
Adrian Vale again.
Not the man from the ice cream shop.
Not Daddy.
Not the man who smiled at a little girl and called her bug.
My boss.
"Mr. Vale."
His eyes stayed on me for a second.
"I need the updated western elevation before the two o'clock review."
"Okay."
A pause.
"Coordinate the glazing changes with Daniel first."
"I will."
Another pause.
I looked back at my screen.
He didn't move immediately.
I could feel him standing there.
Eventually, he walked away.
Good.
That was good.
Professional.
Normal.
Exactly how things should have been from the beginning.
So why did my chest hurt again?
The rest of Monday went pretty much the same way.
Adrian spoke to me.
I answered.
He asked for something.
I gave it to him.
He criticized something.
I fixed it.
No arguments.
No unnecessary conversations.
No sarcastic comments.
No questions about whether he'd eaten.
No comments about his terrible coffee.
Nothing.
And every single time, I could feel him looking at me slightly longer than necessary.
I ignored it.
At five thirty, Maya appeared beside my desk.
"Are you leaving?"
"In a minute."
"I'll wait."
"You don't have to."
"I know."
That meant she was absolutely going to wait.
I saved my work, shut down my computer, grabbed my bag, and followed her toward the elevators.
She waited until the doors closed.
Then-
"Angel."
I stared at the numbers above the door.
"Hmm?"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"You've barely talked all day."
"I'm tired."
"You've been tired since Friday?"
Apparently.
"I haven't been sleeping well."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
Maya looked at me for a long moment.
"Angel, you look devastated."
I looked at her.
"I'm not devastated."
"Then tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong."
She was quiet for a few seconds.
Then-
"Is it because of Vale?"
My eyes moved to her.
"What?"
"Adrian."
"I know who Vale is."
"I know you know who Vale is."
"Then why did you clarify?"
"Because you're avoiding the question."
"I'm not avoiding anything."
Maya studied me.
I looked back at the elevator doors.
"Angel."
"It's not because of Adrian."
I wasn't sure why saying his first name felt strange.
Maya didn't respond.
I glanced at her.
She was still watching me.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Then stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're trying to crawl inside my brain."
"I don't think I want to go in there right now."
For the first time all day, the corner of my mouth almost moved.
Almost.
Maya noticed.
Of course she did.
Her expression softened.
"I'm not going to push you."
"Good."
"But if something's wrong-"
"Nothing's wrong."
She looked at me for another second.
"Okay."
The elevator doors opened.
We walked out.
She didn't ask again.
But I knew she still didn't believe me.
Tuesday wasn't much better.
I slept maybe four hours.
Managed half a piece of toast.
Went to work.
And repeated Monday.
By afternoon, I was in Adrian's office going through revisions to the Solara presentation package.
He sat behind his desk.
I sat across from him.
For nearly twenty minutes, we discussed nothing except work.
No arguments.
No comments.
No accidental detours into anything resembling an actual conversation.
He pointed out a discrepancy.
I wrote it down.
He changed a detail.
I agreed.
He asked for a revision.
I said I'd do it.
Simple.
Professional.
Safe.
Eventually, he closed the drawings.
"That's all."
"Okay."
I stood.
"See you tomorrow, Mr. Vale."
I crossed the office and reached for the door.
"Angelica."
My hand stopped on the handle.
I turned.
He was already standing.
And then he started walking toward me.
My heartbeat changed.
Of course it did.
Apparently my body hadn't received the updated professional-boundaries memorandum.
He stopped a few feet away.
"What's wrong with you?"
I frowned.
"Why are you asking me that?"
His eyes moved over my face.
"Because I feel like something is not right with you."
For a second, I didn't say anything.
His voice was soft.
Worried.
Was he worried about me?
It didn't matter.
It couldn't matter.
"Why are you unusually quiet?"
There was something in his expression I wasn't used to seeing.
Concern.
Real concern.
And that somehow made everything worse.
"Nothing's wrong with me, Mr. Vale."
I turned back toward the door.
"See you tomorrow."
I reached for the handle.
His hand closed around mine.
I froze.
Warm fingers.
Large palm.
That same immediate awareness shot through me before I could stop it.
"Angelica."
His voice was closer now.
"What happened?"
I tried to pull my hand free.
"Please let me go, Mr. Vale."
His hand opened immediately.
No hesitation.
I pulled mine back.
For one second, neither of us said anything.
I couldn't look at him.
So I opened the door.
And left.
By Wednesday, I realized I couldn't keep behaving like this.
People were noticing.
Maya was noticing.
Ben was noticing.
And Adrian-
Adrian noticed everything.
So I decided to be normal.
Or at least perform a convincing imitation of it.
I ate breakfast.
Almost all of it.
I put on makeup.
Did my hair.
Went to work.
And smiled.
It felt strange at first.
Forced.
But I did it anyway.
Ben said something stupid.
I laughed.
Maya showed me a ridiculous email.
I made a joke.
Nicole stopped by my desk.
We talked for ten minutes.
At lunch, I went out with everyone instead of claiming I had work.
And slowly, pretending became easier.
Not real.
Not completely.
But easier.
Ethan appeared at my desk Wednesday afternoon and stole my pen.
I looked at him.
"Seriously?"
He examined it.
"Nice pen."
"It's mine."
"Was."
"Ethan."
He grinned and handed it back.
I laughed.
An actual laugh this time.
For a few minutes, I almost felt like myself.
Then I looked across the office.
Adrian was standing near the conference room.
Looking directly at me.
Our eyes met.
His expression gave me nothing.
I looked away first.
The smile disappeared without me meaning it to.
That became the pattern.
With everyone else, I tried.
I laughed.
Talked.
Went to lunch.
Had coffee with Maya.
Argued with Ben.
Let Ethan annoy me.
Daniel and I spent half an afternoon working through a design problem and somehow ended up debating where to get lunch the next day.
Normal things.
Safe things.
With Adrian-
Work.
Only work.
"Did you revise the elevation?"
"Yes."
"Send it to me."
"I will."
"The client moved tomorrow's meeting to ten."
"Okay."
"Have the package ready by nine."
"I will."
No more than necessary.
No less than professional.
I wasn't rude.
I wasn't cold.
I wasn't punishing him.
I just stopped giving him anything that wasn't required.
And Adrian noticed.
I knew he noticed.
I saw it in the pauses.
The looks.
The way he'd sometimes remain beside my desk after the conversation was already finished.
The way his eyes followed me when I turned away.
But he didn't say anything.
Not after Tuesday.
For a while.
A little over a week later, I was in his office again.
It was after six.
Most of the floor had emptied out, and the building had settled into that familiar evening quiet.
Once, I had liked these hours.
I hadn't realized that until I stopped liking them.
The loosened tie.
Rolled sleeves.
Black coffee.
Crooked little house tattoo.
The version of Adrian Vale that sometimes appeared after everyone else went home.
I didn't look at the tattoo anymore.
Or his hands.
Especially his hands.
We finished reviewing a set of drawings.