Chapter 17 - Authority You Dont Have #2
I made it back to my desk without crying.
That felt like an accomplishment.
I sat down.
Opened the elevations.
Changed four inches.
Saved the file.
Then stared at the screen.
My hands were completely steady.
That was almost funny.
Friday night I'd danced with him.
Three days ago he'd looked at me across a ballroom like he'd forgotten there were other people in it.
He'd crossed the room.
Held out his hand.
May I have this dance?
There you are.
And now-
I've tolerated a great deal of informality from you.
I swallowed.
No.
Not here.
I clicked into another drawing.
Work.
That was apparently what I was supposed to remember.
So I worked.
For fifteen minutes, nobody bothered me.
Then I needed a print from the large-format printer down the hall.
I sent the file.
Stood.
And walked away from my desk.
I was halfway down the corridor when-
"Angelica."
I kept walking.
"Angelica."
His footsteps came closer.
I didn't turn.
Then Adrian moved around me and stopped directly in my path.
I stopped.
Looked at him.
Waited.
His face didn't look anything like it had in the conference room.
No cold authority.
No carefully controlled CEO.
Just Adrian.
And Adrian looked-
I didn't care.
"Move, Mr. Vale."
His jaw tightened.
"Can we talk?"
"I have work to do."
"I know."
"Then move."
"Not yet."
I stared at him.
He stared back.
"About the meeting-"
"I understood."
"No."
My eyes lifted to his.
"No?"
"No. You didn't."
A strange little laugh almost escaped me.
I swallowed it.
"I'm pretty sure I did."
"Angelica."
"What?"
He stopped.
For once, apparently, he hadn't expected me to answer.
His eyes searched my face.
"Don't do this."
I blinked.
"Do what?"
"This."
He gestured vaguely between us.
I looked down at the space between us.
"Stand in a hallway?"
"You know what I mean."
"I really don't."
"You haven't looked at me since the meeting."
There it was.
I looked directly into his eyes.
"I'm looking at you."
His face tightened.
Not the same.
He knew it too.
"That's not what I meant."
"Then I don't know what you want from me."
"I want you to talk to me."
"About work?"
"No."
"Then I don't think that's appropriate."
That hit him.
Hard.
His lips parted.
I waited.
He had told me where the line was.
I was simply standing on my side of it.
"Angelica."
"Yes, Mr. Vale?"
Another hit.
His eyes closed for a second.
When they opened again, something in them had changed.
"I shouldn't have said what I said in there."
I said nothing.
"I was angry."
Nothing.
"No."
He ran a hand through his hair.
"I wasn't angry."
Still nothing.
"I don't know what the fuck I was."
That got my attention.
Adrian almost never swore.
His hand dropped.
"I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."
I looked at him.
"Okay."
His eyebrows pulled together.
"Okay?"
"Yes."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I heard you."
"No. Don't do that."
My chest tightened.
"Do what?"
"Say okay like that."
I almost laughed.
Apparently even my acceptance was incorrect.
"What would you like me to say?"
"I don't know."
"Then I don't know how to help you."
"I don't want you to help me."
"Okay."
His jaw flexed.
I stepped to the side.
He moved with me.
"Mr. Vale."
"Just-"
He stopped himself.
I waited.
He looked genuinely frustrated now.
Not with me.
With himself.
"I didn't mean it the way it sounded."
I stared at him.
That was the first thing he'd said that actually hurt.
Because there were only so many ways those words could sound.
But I wasn't doing this here.
I wasn't giving him anything.
"Okay."
"Stop saying that."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to say something real."
My throat tightened.
I held his gaze.
"I don't have anything to say."
"Yes, you do."
"No."
"You always have something to say."
Not today.
His eyes searched mine again.
"You're angry."
"No."
"Hurt."
My face almost betrayed me.
Almost.
I looked away.
And apparently that was enough.
His entire expression changed.
"Angelica."
I stepped around him.
He caught up immediately and moved in front of me again.
"Don't."
I stopped.
"Don't what?"
"Walk away."
I stared at him.
There was something almost absurd about hearing that from him.
But I didn't say it.
I wasn't giving him that either.
"I need to get my print."
"Forget the print."
"I can't. It's my job."
His face tightened again.
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Do that either."
I waited.
He struggled for the words.
"Don't turn everything I say into-"
He stopped.
"Into what?"
Silence.
Apparently he couldn't say it.
I nodded once.
"Can I go now?"
"No."
That came too quickly.
I stared at him.
He seemed to realize it too.
His voice changed.
"I mean-"
He dragged a hand through his hair again.
"Just give me a minute."
I said nothing.
"I know I fucked up."
There it was.
Simple.
No CEO voice.
No explanation.
No defense.
Just-
I know I fucked up.
Something inside my chest twisted.
But my face stayed still.
He took a breath.
"I shouldn't have said any of that."
I said nothing.
"I knew that the second I said it."
His jaw tightened.
"I've been sitting in my office for fifteen minutes trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to say to you."
I swallowed.
Still nothing.
"I don't know how to fix it."
His eyes held mine.
"But I'm trying to talk to you."
For one dangerous second-
I almost did.
Almost said something.
Instead, I looked at him.
"Are you finished?"
The question visibly hurt him.
But he nodded.
Slowly.
"Yes."
"Then I need to get back to work, Mr. Vale."
I stepped around him.
This time, he didn't block me.
But after I'd taken three steps-
"Angelica."
I stopped.
His voice was quieter now.
"I am sorry."
For a second, I forgot how to breathe.
Adrian Vale had never apologized to me.
Not once.
Probably not to anyone else either.
They should have made something better.
Instead, the words hurt.
Because he meant them.
And it still wasn't enough.
My eyes burned.
I didn't turn around.
I didn't tell him it was okay.
Because it wasn't.
I just kept walking.
The next morning, I was late.
Actually late.
By the time I stepped out of the elevator, it was a few minutes after nine.
And apparently, my absence had become a situation.
Adrian was standing beside Maya's desk.
Not passing by.
Not looking at drawings.
Standing there.
Maya had her phone in one hand.
"I called her twice. She's not picking up."
"When?"
"The first time maybe fifteen minutes ago. Then again just now."
"And she didn't answer either time?"
"No."
"Did she text you?"
"No."
"Did she say anything yesterday about being late?"
Maya shook her head.
"No. Nothing."
Adrian looked toward my empty desk.
"Is this normal?"
Maya frowned.
"For Angel?"
"Yes."
"No. She's usually here before me."
His jaw tightened.
"Do you know if she had somewhere to go this morning?"
"Not that she told me."
"Did she seem okay when she left yesterday?"
Maya hesitated.
Oh.
That was an interesting question.
"I don't know," she said carefully. "I didn't really talk to her before she left."
Adrian was quiet for a second.
Then-
"Do you have her address?"
Maya blinked.
"Angel's?"
"Yes."
"Yeah."
"Give it to me."
Now Maya stared at him.
"Why?"
"Maya."
Something about his voice made her stop.
She looked down at her phone.
"Okay. Hold on. I have it somewhere."
She tapped the screen a few times.
Then she looked up.
And saw me.
Her eyes widened.
"Angel."
Adrian turned.
His eyes found me immediately.
Something changed in his face.
His shoulders seemed to loosen.
Just slightly.
His eyes moved over me once before returning to my face.
I didn't stop long enough to think about it.
"Good morning, Angelica."
I walked past him.
"Morning, Mr. Vale."
I didn't look at him.
I went straight to my desk.
Put down my bag.
Took off my jacket.
Turned on my computer.
Adrian didn't ask why I was late.
Didn't ask where I'd been.
Didn't say anything about the fact that he'd apparently been trying to get my home address.
A few seconds later, I heard his footsteps retreat across the office.
Then his office door closed.
I worked.
For the next hour, that was all I did.
At ten-oh-three, I printed one document.
I read it once.
Then again.
Nothing changed.
I stood.
Maya looked up when I passed her desk.
I kept walking.
Across the office.
Straight to Adrian's door.
I knocked.
"Come in."
I opened it.
Adrian looked up immediately.
His eyes stayed on me as I crossed the room.
"Angelica."
I walked to his desk.
Placed the letter in front of him.
His eyes dropped to it.
Then lifted back to me.
"What is it?"
I looked at him.
For the first time that morning.