Chapter 40 - Out of Control #6
"Okay."
I froze.
Okay?
That was worse than no.
"Don't agree with me. That's terrifying."
His mouth moved faintly.
Good.
Still in there.
Thirty minutes later, his temperature hadn't climbed.
It hadn't dropped much either.
103.0.
I accepted the microscopic victory.
For now.
Adrian had drifted somewhere between asleep and awake again.
The same strange place he'd been in last night.
Eyes closed.
Then open.
Then closed again.
Aware of me without seeming entirely aware of anything else.
I sat beside him with the basin on the nightstand.
Changed the cloth.
Wiped his forehead.
His temples.
The back of his neck.
Then dried his hair carefully with the towel.
His eyes opened.
Barely.
"Hey."
He looked at me.
Or somewhere near me.
It was difficult to tell anymore.
"You with me?"
Nothing.
I touched his cheek.
"Adrian?"
His eyes closed again.
"Okay. That's reassuring."
I leaned closer, trying to see his face properly.
"Open your eyes for me."
He did.
Slowly.
"There you are."
I moved the hair away from his forehead.
"You're burning again."
His head shifted slightly against the pillow.
"Angelica."
"Yeah."
His voice was barely there.
"I'm here."
I reached for the thermometer.
His hand caught mine.
I stopped.
"What?"
He didn't answer.
His fingers just stayed around mine.
"Do you need something?"
Nothing.
I leaned closer.
"Adrian?"
His eyes opened.
I looked at him.
He was looking at me.
Actually looking at me this time.
My face was above his.
Close.
Too close, probably.
But I didn't think anything of it.
I was trying to figure out whether he was actually awake.
Then his other hand moved.
Suddenly.
His palm came to the back of my head.
I went still.
Before I could understand what he was doing, his fingers slipped into my hair and he gently pressed my head down.
Toward him.
My hand dropped.
I didn't even have time to pull back.
Something warm pressed against my lips.
Soft.
Hot.
My entire body went still.
I stopped breathing.
His lips.
Adrian's lips were against mine.
His hand was still at the back of my head.
Not forcing me there.
Just holding me close.
His lips stayed there.
One second.
Maybe two.
I couldn't tell.
I couldn't think.
Then his lips moved.
Just once.
The smallest, softest press against mine.
A tiny smooch.
Barely more than the first touch.
And then his hand loosened.
His lips were gone.
His head settled back against the pillow.
His eyes closed.
I didn't move.
Couldn't.
I just sat there.
Completely still.
Staring at him.
My lips still parted.
My heart stopped.
Or exploded.
Possibly both.
What.
The.
Fuck.
I touched my lips.
Slowly.
They were still warm.
Adrian's lips had just been there.
On mine.
I stared at him.
He looked exactly the same.
Eyes closed.
Face flushed from the fever.
Breathing slow and heavy.
Like absolutely nothing had happened.
Meanwhile, I had apparently forgotten how lungs worked.
"Adrian?"
Nothing.
I waited.
"Adrian."
His eyes didn't open.
Of course.
Of fucking course.
He could put his lips on mine, destroy every functioning thought in my head, and then immediately pass out.
And apparently Adrian Vale had just kissed me.
Sort of.
Maybe.
Technically.
No.
Definitely.
His lips had been on my lips.
That was generally how kissing worked.
I looked at Adrian.
He was completely uncontrolled.
Maybe unconscious too.
Or close enough to it that I wasn't sure there was much difference.
And suddenly, that mattered.
Because this would never have happened if he were in his right mind.
Adrian was always controlled.
Painfully controlled.
Every word.
Every expression.
Every touch.
Especially every touch.
He was careful with boundaries.
Mine.
His.
Whatever strange, invisible thing existed between us.
He could stand too close.
Look at me for too long.
Hold my hand.
Dance with me.
But he always knew exactly what he was doing.
Exactly where the line was.
And he never crossed it.
But right now-
there was no control.
No wall.
No Adrian Vale standing guard over every single thing he felt.
He was sick.
Feverish.
Barely conscious.
I was there.
I was close.
And he kissed me.
My heart did the thing again.
Fuck.
It was definitely a kiss.
Not a kiss kiss.
But still.
A kiss.
His lips had been on mine.
And for one tiny second, they'd moved.
I touched my lips again.
Goddammit.
I looked down at his hand.
Still loosely holding mine.
Then back at his face.
His fingers tightened faintly around mine.
My heart did the stupid thing again.
I sighed.
And somehow, I was supposed to sit here and act normal after that.
I looked at him.
Still asleep.
Still sick.
Still holding my hand.
"Asshole," I whispered.
His mouth moved.
Barely.
I narrowed my eyes.
There was absolutely no way.
No.
He was asleep.
He had to be.
I watched him for another second.
Nothing.
Fine.
I leaned back against the headboard.
And kept holding his hand.