Chapter 14
Paul wants to mark the occasion with steak and a whiskey or two, so he stops at Steiner’s, his local grocery store, on the way home. When he’s good and loose, he’ll give Tom a call.
As he palms a sickly-looking banana, he realizes it hasn’t even crossed his mind to steal.
He hasn’t wanted to for days, and he knows that has little to do with being caught by that buffoon last time and everything to do with Judith Stanley.
He’s too full to steal. Full of Judith’s images, full of excitement about the opportunities opening up before him.
Opportunities he deserves. Finally, finally, the world is cracking open, tossing him a well-earned, if overdue, pearl or two.
And a nice juicy steak. He starts to whistle as he walks the narrow aisles.
Paul takes great pleasure—and a simple sort of pride—in watching his selected items travel down the conveyer belt to the clerk.
He smiles at her, hoping for some reciprocal admiration, but this worn older woman with dark circles under her eyes ignores him as she picks up one item after another and tosses it carelessly into the paper bag.
When Paul looks at her, he sees his old self, moving through life without purpose or delight.
He’s disgusted by the sight of her and pays without looking up.
Then he hugs the two heavy bags to his chest as if they were small children, happy to leave the store with the fruits of his honest labor.