8. Eden
EDEN
When Sterling takes off his clothes and steps into the steamy shower, I think I might be able to come again right here in the bathroom just from the sight of his naked body.
He’s not embarrassed one bit. He’s all rippling muscles with random scars, a double-R brand on his shoulder, and very little hair … until he turns to face me.
When I see his hard cock and the small patch of black hair, my legs nearly give out. Michael would look like a string bean next to him.
The water starts dripping down his abs and the V-shaped muscles that lead to his cock. My mouth dries up. I feel like a complete freak watching him, but curiosity keeps me from bolting in fear.
He grabs the base of his dick, eyes still on me.
He doesn’t say a word as he pumps his hand slowly up and down over his hard length. The arousal that was previously sated from my orgasm starts building again as a low thrum in my core.
I squeeze my thighs together. He’s gripping it so tightly; it almost looks painful. I lean against the counter, wondering if there’s something wrong with me for enjoying this.
But he doesn’t stop. It must not bother him to have an audience because he keeps pumping over his dick with his tight fist, like he’s almost enjoying me watching him.
I bite into my bottom lip when he reaches up to press his free hand against the tiles, abs flexing in a way that makes me imagine he’s doing it on top of me. I wish I were the one making him feel this way, drawing out the breathy moans from his lips.
He lets out a louder groan, every muscle contracting as white liquid spurts out onto the floor. My mouth waters when he opens his eyes halfway through and stares at me.
It’s too much, too overstimulating, so I turn around and face the wall, sucking in a huge gulp of oxygen I didn’t realize I’d needed. The air is thick with steam, so I open the door to let in some fresh, cooler air. I hear the shower turn off behind me.
I hear him step out and grab a towel. I shut my eyes, exhaling and trying to convince my heart to slow down a little.
My emotions are all over the place, but the most overwhelming one at the forefront of my mind is guilt.
I’m pregnant out of wedlock for giving in to these exact desires the first time with someone I didn’t know that well. Now, here I am, with Sterling, doing the exact same thing.
Thankfully, the difference now is that we’re married, but the marriage isn’t even real. He did it because he’s a good man and he wants me to watch over his house while he’s deployed.
I feel his presence at my back. I tense up, waiting for his touch.
“Are you okay?” he finally says.
I nod, but the tears are already building behind my eyes.
“Eden, I’m sorry if this … made you feel uncomfortable. I don’t want you to ever feel obligated to engage in sexual acts with me just because you’re living here and—”
I spin around, pressing my finger to his lips. His brows are pinched with concern, brown eyes searching my face.
“It’s not that. It’s … ugh, it’s so hard to explain. It’s hard to separate my desire and what I want from what I’ve always believed. I’m pregnant by someone else, and I just watched you shower. It makes me feel … it makes me feel dirty.”
He reaches up, grabbing my shoulders. I see that he’s wrapped the towel around his waist, thankfully. I don’t think I could have this conversation if he was still naked. My bottom lip trembles as I stare up at him.
“Eden, you need to listen to me. You are not dirty, and sex is not dirty. For one thing, you being pregnant by some asshole who abused you isn’t your fault.
I doubt you even had enough sex education to realize he should’ve worn a condom.
The hand you’ve been dealt is a shit one, but you have me here now, helping you wade through it.
Your baby is a blessing. Me happening to stumble upon you outside that truck stop—which wasn’t even on my normal route, by the way—was a blessing.
You’re going to be just fine. You’re not in this alone anymore.
And if exploring your smothered sexual desires is what you want, I’m definitely willing to help you with that.
If you tell me to never touch you again, I can swear to you right now that it’ll never happen. I’m a man of my word.”
For some reason, I believe him. But instead of telling him I don’t want him to touch me—because on top of everything else, I don’t want to turn into a liar—I simply nod and release a shaky exhale.
“Okay. Thank you for understanding.”
He nods, finally releasing my shoulders. “Look, this is my fault. I should’ve said no to the shower thing. I know you don’t have much experience, and I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. I’m sorry.”
I step back into the hallway, shaking my head. “Don’t do that. You’ve been amazing and supportive since day one.”
He stands there in a towel, flexing his jaw.
He’s beautiful without even trying. I just want him to hold me right now, but it feels wrong to ask for anything else from him.
I turn around and walk into his bedroom, shutting the door behind me, the sound of it closing making my heart feel like it’s breaking in two.
We’ve been tiptoeing around each other for over two weeks now, until he comes home on Friday night with a shopping bag from a store I’ve never heard of. He sets the bag down on the coffee table.
“Get dressed. I’m taking you out.”
I chew on my lower lip, looking up from the library book.
I found out it was only a mile down the road, so I’ve been walking to it every few days to check out Regency mystery novels.
The one I picked up last time has a heavy romance subplot that I can’t get enough of.
The duke has thrown off all societal expectations and started up a whirlwind romance with a woman far below his station.
“Where are we going?”
“There’s a country music concert at an outdoor venue. Some of my friends are going, along with my brother Duke.”
My throat constricts.
He told his friends about me. His brother is coming here.
“Doesn’t he live in Texas?”
“Yeah. He’s coming down for the weekend since I’ll be shipping out soon.”
I look down at the bag on the coffee table, curious about what it is.
“Open it. I’m gonna go shower. Leave in an hour? That’s when Duke’s plane lands.”
I feel myself nodding. He disappears down the hallway. I reach for the bag. When I pull out the items inside and unwrap the tissue paper, I nearly drop the clothes.
He picked out a sweater dress for me. It’s a rich brown color in a soft, cozy yarn. Inside the bag are also a pair of leather brown boots with a low heel and a fringe leather jacket. It’s chic and beautiful, and it will fit over my growing bump comfortably.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
I’ve never had anyone buy me a brand-new outfit before. It would’ve been thoughtful enough for him to just invite me out, but to go to the lengths of buying me an outfit suitable for the occasion and would also be comfortable with my baby belly is almost too much.
I can’t figure Sterling out. Since the shower incident, we’ve been quiet and courteous.
He asks me how I’m feeling every day. He cleans up the dishes after dinner and takes me on a walk.
He makes sure I’m taking my prenatal vitamins, but other than that, he doesn’t speak.
He hasn’t made any type of move on me, none whatsoever.
I even left the door to his room open while I was changing, just to see if he would take a peek. Nope. He was the perfect gentleman.
I sigh, taking the clothes back to the room.
Maybe he’s not even interested anymore.
I wouldn’t blame him after the freak-out I had after what happened last time. He deserves to find someone who isn’t so confused and at war with their desires and the competing morals they’ve been stuck with since birth.
When we arrive at the concert venue, Duke hops out of the back seat of the truck and immediately opens my door with a smile. He extends a hand to help me down. I take it, careful not to let my heel snag the hem of the sweater dress.
“You know, when Sterling first told me he married a girl he had just met, I didn’t get it. But now that I’ve met you, I very much understand.” He winks at me, but doesn’t release my hand until Sterling comes around the car, eyes blazing.
Sterling reaches for my arm and places a hand on his brother’s chest. I gape at him as he physically shoves Duke away from me.
“Hands. Off. My. Wife,” he grits out.
Duke chuckles, lifting his palms defensively. “I was just helping her out of the truck. I know she’s yours, brother.” He grins at me, looking my body up and down. “Lucky bastard.”
Sterling pops his knuckles, bracing himself, as if he’s ready to throw a punch. He widens his stance, throwing his shoulders back. Duke ducks out of the way, using me as a human shield. My heart pounds as I stand between them like a deer in headlights.
“All right, all right! Jeez, don’t get your panties in a wad. I’ll find my own golden-haired beauty.”
“Do you need me to remind you what it feels like to get your teeth kicked in, little brother?” Sterling pulls me to his opposite side so that his body is between Duke and me.
I don’t even know how to feel right now about the very potent realization that Sterling is being extremely protective and doesn’t like his brother flirting with me.
Why would he care?
He called me his wife again …
The tension between us eases as we walk up to the venue, my arm locked inside Sterling’s with no room for me to move away, not that I want to. He’s warm, and I feel completely safe being so close to him, like he’s my personal protection detail.
The venue is outdoors in an open area with pine trees sprinkled throughout.
There’s a large stage to the left with various food trucks and bars scattered about.
String lights and small firepits provide light and warmth, making the space feel cozy.
A band is already on the stage, playing a slow country song.