Chapter 16 #2
Why on earth was he so angry about the reporter seeking him out?
Was his discovery some sort of secret? There couldn’t be anything dark about it, from the excitement he’d expressed that day at the resort.
Sylvie was desperate to ask, but she wasn’t supposed to know he’d discovered something.
Only the lady archer knew that. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Miles. What dark past?”
Miles examined the lines of Sylvie’s face, searching for any hint that she’d caught his accidental reference, that she’d exposed him to the press.
There was nothing in her expression except concern.
He ran a shaking hand over his face. “You don’t know, do you?
You didn’t send that man to investigate my past at all. ”
She shook her head while reaching out to grasp his hand.
Miles allowed her to wrap her fingers around his, warmth seeping through her silk gloves to reach his skin.
The touch was reassuring. It made him want to spill all his secrets right there in the tiny dressing room while simultaneously wracking him with guilt for the tone he’d taken with her.
“I’m sorry, Sylvie. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. ”
“It’s not like you to be that angry, so I understand something terrible must have set it off.
” She took a half step forward, her skirts swishing against his shins.
“All I know is what you’ve told me, that you left England in a difficult situation.
Not only would I never send a reporter to reveal anything about your past to the public, but I have no idea what there would even be to report on.
If you ever choose to share the specifics with me, I’d be glad to listen and would guard your secrets with my life. ”
Sincerity suffused every word. Miles believed her, and his heart urged him to share the entire sordid tale with her. Other than his mother, no one else in his life knew it all, not even Alexander.
But what if the revelation changed how she saw him? What if she decided, as so many others had, that he was guilty despite the truth being the opposite?
Was it worth the risk to finally take someone into his confidence? To share the deepest part of himself with Sylvie?
She reached up and rested her palm against his cheek.
The unexpected touch, obscured as it was by her glove, sent heat coursing through Miles.
After that ever-so-brief kiss in the woods, the taste of her lips had lingered for days afterward.
If he did reveal everything and she still accepted him, it would be a step toward the relationship with her that he wanted, toward being able to win her over.
But still, was it worth the risk?
Sending a desperate plea to the Lord for wisdom and courage, Miles placed his hand over hers and removed it from his cheek, but only so he could entwine their fingers.
With both her hands grasped in his, Miles tugged to pull her closer.
Having her body pressed against his was a strong distraction, but the urge to keep her close so he could see her reactions was unavoidable.
“Are you certain you want to know? You might never look at me the same way again.”
Eyes softening, Sylvie nodded without hesitation. “I know you, Miles. Nothing you say could change the man I know. It will only deepen my understanding of you.”
Something broke loose in Miles’s core, deep in his heart.
He’d needed to hear those words for the past ten years without realizing it.
The story he was about to share with her had changed everyone’s perception of him, the only exception being his dear mother.
He’d been longing for someone who would see it as a vital part of his past, but not the whole of who he was.
“I was sixteen and shared a room at Eaton with a fellow named Reginald Davies. Reggie was the closest thing I had to a brother after mine died, but many of the other boys didn’t like him much.
By this point, we’d begun arguing about the time I spent with some of them instead of him, but it was only bickering, as siblings would do. ”
Miles had to break off for a moment. He released Sylvie’s hands and ran one of his through his hair while drawing a deep breath, seeking the fortitude to continue.
“The day it happened, we’d had another small argument because I was going to go on a hunt with some of the boys, while Reggie wasn’t invited.
He wanted me to stay and keep him company as I did when we first began attending there. ”
Sylvie listened with an open but inscrutable expression.
If she had any idea what horror he was going to reveal next, she didn’t show it.
It was too late to back out now, so Miles pressed on.
“I stormed out and spent a few hours in the library that evening. It was early enough in the term that few students were bothering to study, so I saw no one going in or out. Even the librarian was off doing other work rather than at the circulation desk. I had only passed the group of boys I was supposed to go with the next day on the way out of my room, when I was still irritated. I was a bit curt with them, I suppose.”
Silence fell for a moment while he gathered his thoughts.
“When I returned to our room, he was on the floor, staring lifelessly at my bed. There was so much blood, enough that my mind froze. I didn’t know what to do, so I went down the hall to the prefect.
My response wasn’t the right one, I suppose, because as soon as word spread about his death, the accusations started.
They said I was too cold and emotionless to have found him like that, which surely meant I’d done something to him.
I should have been more upset to stumble across such a horrific scene.
The boys I’d believed to be my friends were the worst, spreading a tale about how I’d left the room in a rage, although I’d only been a bit frustrated in reality. ”
If only he could stop there. Wasn’t what he’d already said bad enough?
But Sylvie shuffled closer and snuggled against his side.
Miles wrapped an arm around her waist, marveling at the heightened awareness that accompanied her touch and reveling in her reaction.
She wasn’t repulsed. She wasn’t immediately taking the side of the other boys, as most people had.
She was supporting him. He wasn’t sure what to do with that.
But there was more he needed to say. “Because of the other boys’ accusations, constables interrogated me over the course of several days while they kept me under watch at the school.
Officially, they never arrested me. But all anyone cared about was that I was suspected of murder.
It didn’t matter that it was all hearsay, that there was never any evidence I’d done anything.
In fact, officials determined that Reggie was overcome by a sudden fit and fell, hitting his head hard enough on his bedframe to cause the bleeding and to damage his brain.
No one killed him. But it was too late for me to overcome the reputation of a murderer. People had made up their minds.”
As he spoke, Sylvie stiffened in his arms. Was this it, then? Had she determined he was a murderer, as all the rest had?
He let his arm fall away from her. But when he looked down into her upturned face, her eyes flashed, forehead crinkled in the most charming way.
“How dare they? I doubt you were so different ten years ago that anyone who knew you could believe you capable of something so horrid. And to treat a boy of merely sixteen as if he were a criminal with no proof! It’s a good thing I’m unlikely to ever see any of those people because they would get a piece of my mind. ”
It took a long time for Miles’s comprehension to catch up with Sylvie’s words. She was ready to defend him without question or hesitation? She didn’t doubt him, even briefly?
Holding back the giddiness that flooded him wasn’t possible.
Without bothering to consider the consequences, Miles swept her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers.
He would have stopped in a heartbeat if she’d shown signs of distaste, but rather, her arms slid around his neck, and she pushed up on her toes to get closer.
Heaven help him.
Miles deepened the kiss, lost in the softness of Sylvie’s lips and the way her body molded to his. His hands slid up and down her back of their own accord. Sylvie shifted, gripping his shoulders.
And it occurred to him that they were sharing intimacies while alone in a tiny, dim dressing room.
Everything about the situation was unseemly.
If anyone opened the door or saw them leaving together, if anyone caught the slightest glimpse of her disheveled as she was now, both of them would pay the price.
While Miles would be more than happy to marry her on the spot, he didn’t want her to accept him out of necessity, but because she cared for him and wanted to be his wife.
So he gathered the shreds of his willpower and ended the kiss, releasing her with an immense amount of reluctance and stepping back. “Sylvie…”
Before he could apologize, she reached up to once again rest her hand on his cheek, with a soft smile lighting her face. “Miles, thank you for telling me the truth. I hope you know I would never see you differently for something that was so out of your control.”
It was as if she could read his mind, and his heart melted for her all over again.
Not for the first time that night, he was forced to admit that he was in very, very deep trouble if his varied plans for winning her heart didn’t succeed.
He loved Sylvie Bryce and had every intention of convincing her to return that love.
But in the end, all he could do was trust that God had a reason for placing them together that summer, whether Miles got what he longed for or not.