Chapter 18 #2
Watching him walk away while she returned her hood to its place, Sylvie set her sights on taking full advantage of the next three weeks.
She would find a solution that would save Miles from Lucy while allowing Sylvie to keep performing her show.
Her secrets might have destroyed her friendship with him, but the need to gain independence before Mother pushed another suitor on her remained.
If this was her only summer of freedom, Sylvie refused to let it end in disaster.
Fear and worry had a way of pressing someone into actions they didn’t want to take.
For instance, Miles didn’t want to visit the Bryce home when Sylvie wasn’t there, especially considering the news he’d received and the urgency building in his chest. She would be performing at the resort, or else he might have gone to tell her what had happened.
His mother wasn’t merely under the weather, as she’d made it sound in her last missive.
The estate steward had written to inform Miles that she could be on her deathbed.
With the amount of time it took for mail to cross the ocean, Miles’s deepest fear was that he was already too late.
But he had to try to reach her, anyway, in case God sustained her long enough for him to tell her what she meant to him.
First, however, he had a pressing, unpleasant task to face.
He’d visited the Casburns first, hoping to catch Miss Casburn there and speak with her privately.
But their butler informed him she was visiting the Bryces.
Under any other circumstances, Miles would never have dreamed of chasing her around the island.
But there wasn’t time to spare, and he couldn’t leave without setting the matter to rights.
So, rather than boarding a steamer immediately as he wanted, Miles ended up striding up the stone stairs and ringing the bell at the Bryce home.
Once he was shown into the parlor, he headed straight toward the pair of settees flanking a large fireplace, where Mrs. Bryce and Miss Casburn sat across from one another.
Both women glanced up in surprise at his entrance, Mrs. Bryce with an inscrutable expression and Miss Casburn with a stormy one.
Miles wasn’t the most perceptive man when it came to ladies’ feelings, but even he could tell Miss Casburn had been aggravated at the ball the other night. Possibly hurt, even. She somehow believed she had a claim to him. Well, it was past time to put a stop to that.
Miles had no intention of returning to England and taking over the family estate as the steward had requested.
But he also didn’t know how long it would take to tie up matters in England.
If his mother showed signs of recovering, he might be there for months helping while she recuperated.
He didn’t want to leave Miss Casburn thinking he had intentions toward her all that time when he most certainly didn’t.
This wasn’t how or when he would have preferred to address the issue, but urgency had taken the choice from him.
Not bothering with small talk, Miles didn’t even sit down as Mrs. Bryce invited him to. “Miss Casburn, might I speak with you a moment? It’s urgent.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Miles saw Mrs. Bryce arch an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a bit ill-suited for a visit of this nature? My daughter isn’t here right now, but you are welcome to sit and converse with both me and Miss Casburn.”
The insistent need to finish this task grew, compressing Miles’s lungs. He had to get started on his journey as soon as possible. There was no time for social niceties. “I wouldn’t normally argue with you, Mrs. Bryce. But time is of the essence. I need a private word with Miss Casburn.”
Mrs. Bryce’s expression went cold, and her eyes sharpened.
She rose from the settee with the regal bearing of the Queen Consort herself.
“Sir, I will not allow you to declare your intentions to this young woman in my house when you have spent the summer encouraging my daughter’s attention.
It would be far more proper for you to visit Miss Casburn during her own at-home hours. ”
Panic took over, causing words to tumble out of Miles’s mouth unchecked. “Oh, no, Mrs. Bryce. That’s not my intention at all. I’m leaving town on an urgent family matter and came here to free Miss Casburn from any romantic inclinations I might have implied this summer.”
Mrs. Bryce’s face shifted, but he didn’t have time to dwell on what her narrowed eyes meant, because Miss Casburn gasped.
Miles glanced back at her. Oh, he’d bungled the entire thing in such a callous way.
He softened his tone, despite the pressure still agitating him.
“I apologize, Miss Casburn. But I didn’t want to leave with you believing I might return to claim your heart.
I never meant to encourage any romance between us. ”
She blinked at him several times before her lips tightened into a firm line.
A small, expensive Tiffany clock on the mantel chimed, spurring him into action once again.
“Again, I apologize to both of you for this intrusion. I must go, though. Mrs. Bryce, will you please tell your daughter how sorry I am to have left without seeing her? I’m certain she’ll understand if you explain I was called to my mother’s side while she’s ill. ”
Mrs. Bryce frowned, but there wasn’t time to explain further.
He would miss the next steamer, which would make him late for the train that he had to be on to get to the port in New York City before his ship departed.
Tipping his hat and striding out of the house, he decided he would send Sylvie a letter.
Yes, that was just the thing. On the train, he would compose a final secret admirer letter that would reveal his identity and explain everything.
The steamship ride passed without delay, and soon enough, Miles was stepping onto a train in Sandusky and settling into a seat. He slid a notebook from his leather satchel and began to pour out his explanation to Sylvie in ink.
Dearest Sylvie,
I have a great many apologies to issue in this letter, the first of which is that I’m sorry for deceiving you all these weeks.
I’m the one who’s been writing you the letters signed by a secret admirer.
When you enlisted my aid in uncovering his identity, I wanted to tell you.
I should have told you. But I needed more time to convince you to give me a chance.
I know the last thing you want is to give in to your mother’s plans for you, so I hoped the letters would allow you to fall in love with me without worrying about her.
While that may not have happened yet, I’ve received bad news and had to leave in such a rush that I missed seeing you in order to explain.
And there is my second apology. I’m sorry I missed the archery show today.
My mother has taken ill, and the letter I received from our steward this morning revealed that she may be near to death.
I’m on my way at this moment to be with her.
I only regret that my last bit of time this morning was spent finding Lucy Casburn.
In case you hear of the visit, I want to be clear that it was only to put an end to any belief that I have romantic intentions towards her.
I let her know in plain terms that I’m not interested in pursuing her, now or when I return.
Along those lines, I’m also sorry that I’m not there to explain all this in person.
I hope your mother relayed my message to you, but it was still a brief, incomplete picture of what’s in my heart right now.
Sylvie, I can’t wait any longer to tell you that I love you.
I think I’ve loved you since you dismissed me during that first ball of the summer.
It was charming, endearing, and bewildering all at once.
And my feelings only grew once I learned that you’re the famed lady archer.
Yes, I knew all along. I hoped it would aid my cause to keep your secret for you.
And finally, I’m sorry that I took so long to tell you everything.
You should have known my feelings from the start.
I should have pursued you more persistently.
Instead, I contrived plans and kept secrets from you.
I can’t guarantee how long I’ll be in England.
I’m praying I’ll arrive in time and be able to spend a few weeks or months helping my mother recover.
But even if I have to let Mother go, I intend to return to you. I hope you’ll be waiting for me.
As Mr. Dickens wrote, “The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.” And we shall, my love. On top of my many apologies, I leave you with that promise.
Your former secret, now open admirer,
Miles Wentworth