Chapter 21 #3
Miles tried to pray. But the same feeling of abandonment that had enveloped him after the accusations returned.
Had God sent him back here just to have him experience the rejection of his neighbors all over again?
And what of Sylvie? None of the letters he’d picked up were from her.
Did her lack of response mean she was angry he’d hidden his role as her secret admirer?
Or did she not return the feelings he’d hinted at in his last letter?
Why would God put her in his path only to let her reject him?
He’d written at least five more letters to her since arriving, all of which ended up crumpled into a ball and thrown into the fireplace.
If she wasn’t interested in responding, he didn’t want to push himself on her.
He’d laid out everything in that letter, as clearly as possible.
She must have a reason for not answering.
But the very idea of her rejecting his heartfelt admissions was enough to bring unwanted dampness to his eyes and a terrible ache to his chest. Where was God in this turmoil?
That evening, Miles went to his mother’s rooms to dine with her, only to be told by a maid that she was waiting for him in the dining room.
That was a significant improvement. Miles hurried to the dining room to see for himself if she was well enough to be up and about.
Inside the room with its pale-blue walls, coffered ceiling, and tall windows, Miles found her sitting to the right of the head of the table.
Healthy color tinged her cheeks, and her eyes didn’t look tired at all.
“Mother, I’m so glad you’re feeling up to leaving your rooms today. ”
She tilted her head to receive the kiss he dropped on her cheek. “And the walk down here didn’t wear me out in the least either. I do believe I’m nearly back on my feet.”
Miles slid into the chair at the head of the table, where another place setting had been laid out by the staff. As food was brought out and they filled their plates, his mother glanced sideways at him. “I heard you went into the village today. Anxious to get the post?”
There was no point in hiding it. “I was. But the villagers were far from welcoming, and I didn’t receive what I was hoping for.”
“A letter from your Sylvie.”
It was a fact, not a question, and Miles appreciated the candidness.
“Yes.” He leaned toward his mother, wishing he didn’t sound so desperate.
“From the perspective of a woman, what would keep her from replying? Could I have somehow offended her so badly that she wouldn’t give me even the courtesy of a rejection? ”
Mother chewed and swallowed a bite of fish before responding.
“I quite doubt that. Any young lady who is as courageous and kind as you describe this Sylvie to be would understand if given a genuine, honest explanation. You’ll need to speak with her immediately when you return and learn what caused the lack of communication. ”
“When I return? I thought you were praying I would stay here.”
Guilt struck Miles in the chest when her eyes filled with moisture.
He reached out toward her, but she waved off his concern.
“No, it’s not your fault. I’m emotional because I said the wrong thing when we spoke before.
I’ve worried you would never experience the love your father and I did.
I believed your chances at finding it might be better here, where you have more in common with people. ”
She sniffled, then met his gaze with resolve brimming in her eyes.
“But if your lovesick wandering this week is any indication, you’ve found that devotion on your own.
It’s a wonderful blessing, my dear, and I give you my full support in returning to Ohio to convince that girl to marry you right away.
Or perhaps as soon as I’m able to travel to attend your wedding. ”
“But your health could fail again, Mother. A time will come when you and Mr. Brown can’t handle the estate any longer. What if God is bringing me back here for that purpose?”
Arching an eyebrow, his mother tilted her head.
“Who says we haven’t already considered that?
There are several young men in the village we’ve been working with to teach them how to care for the buildings and property.
It will still be here for the children I hope you’ll have someday, even if I’m not.
God made you with a passion for the work you’re doing.
If you look, you’ll see His hand leading you there, not here. ”
Miles’s heart stuttered at the implication of her death, but she smiled and took his hand in hers.
“My dearest, I want more than anything for you to live the life you want to have. I shouldn’t have made you feel as if you needed to be here when your heart is elsewhere.
And I shouldn’t have been so selfish in my prayers.
I only ask that you bring that wonderful young woman—and any children you may have someday—back here to visit when you can.
The villagers can fling their opinions into the creek. ”
Chuckling at her vehemence and overcome with the sudden freedom of knowing she didn’t expect or want him to leave the life he’d built behind, Miles rose and wrapped his mother in a gentle embrace.
If she continued to improve, he would hasten back to Ohio in another couple of days and explain everything to Sylvie in person.
Then, if she wouldn’t have him, at least he would know for certain.
Perhaps in time, he would be able to move on from his feelings for her.
But until that moment, there was still a chance he could win her heart. God hadn’t abandoned him, after all, but was allowing him to correct his mistakes. This time, he wouldn’t waste the opportunity testing out theories.