Chapter 27 #2
Not that I could sleep. I kept my eyes closed, but my breathing never slowed.
The presence of Chris was a strange comfort that made it impossible to relax.
I heard the rustle of his jacket and then the chair creaking as he shifted his weight.
For a moment, I thought he might say something more, but he didn’t.
“Do you want to know about the baby?” I asked, keeping my eyes closed as if that would help me stay strong and hide any vulnerabilities from him.
“If you’re ready to tell me.” His response was cautious but hopeful, which made my chest tighten slightly.
“I didn’t realize I was pregnant. I kept getting tired, but I just assumed I wasn’t used to working at the diner. It’s a completely different lifestyle from what we had in Seattle.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” he said softly.
“I never could have imagined spending a day on my feet at a construction site would take so much out of a person. My hands and my muscles ache in ways I couldn’t have described.
But it’s not just physical labor. You do so much, Beth, you always have. And I haven’t always appreciated that.”
That confession hit me harder than I thought it would.
I opened my eyes to look at him, surprised to see the sincerity in his gaze.
He wasn’t just saying it for the sake of it; I could see that he meant it.
And the emotion in his eyes made my heart ache.
All this time, I thought I was the only one carrying the weight of our relationship, but Chris was just as lost as I was.
Maybe more so. I had taken things into my own hands and made decisions I thought were necessary, but I never stopped to ask what he thought, to check if he understood how deeply the cracks between us had grown.
“When did you figure out your plan?” My voice wavered, and I cleared my throat before continuing. “For the building.”
“It took longer than it should have. It was around the time I stopped sending gifts. Jessica came to me and made her intentions clear. I’m sorry I never defended you from her comments.
That has eaten at me every day since. I don’t know if it was calculated, but she made a play for me.
I din’t know if you want the details, what with you already having fainted, but I forced her into a buyout and she is no longer part of the company. ”
“She came into the diner before I collapsed.” The image of Jessica’s smug face as she threatened me was suddenly all too vivid.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about what Chris was telling me.
On one hand, he had dealt with her and done something to push her out.
On the other hand, I didn’t know if that meant he had feelings for her that he was trying to hide.
“She did?” His voice rose slightly, filled with shock and a touch of anger. “I just saw her yesterday in town. I had no idea she had come to the diner. That conniving?—“
“Don’t,” I said, placing a hand on Chris’s hand. “Let’s not talk about her. She’s not worth the words. Tell me what happened after.”
“I found your notebooks. After that, I came here. I didn’t even really know what I was doing.
But I got a room at the motel down the road and connected with the town administrator.
And the folks in the county planning office.
They were suspicious of my intentions at first, but I think they’re happy with the results so far.
Not that the food hub is anywhere close to opening.
But they like that people are working. And they like that I’ve structured the deal to keep the money flowing into the community actually in the community. ”
“So it’s not yours, then?”
“I don’t want any of it to be mine, not that it matters. But if this is your dream, I want you to see it realized, not just for this town but for any that might be in similar positions in the future.”
That was exactly what I would have hoped, but there was more behind it that I didn’t understand.
Why did this mean so much to him now? There was still an ocean between us, full of words not yet said and feelings not yet sorted.
I needed time to think, time I didn’t feel I had anymore.
Not with the baby growing and Chris sitting right here.
But this moment, for better or worse, was the closest we had come to finding each other again, even if we were still worlds apart in many ways.
I shifted in the bed slightly, suddenly aware of the monitor beside me, keeping track of not just me but also my baby.
And Chris, I realized, was trying to find his place in that new picture.
I could see it in the way he glanced at my stomach, his expression full of wonder and fear.
He had been in the dark about this for weeks, just as much as I had been in the dark about the construction site.
We had so much catching up to do, so much to understand.
But right now, it was too much to take in.
I didn’t know if I could handle it all at once.
So I just sat there, looking at him, my hand still gripping his, knowing we both had so much to say but unable to find the words yet.
But I also felt something shifting, a softening.
There was more hope now than before, even with everything else still uncertain.
Maybe, just maybe, we were finally on the right track. Or so I hoped.
“I didn’t do any of this the right way,” Chris said, looking down at my hand in his, “but I swear to you I’ll fix it, Beth. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
My chest tightened again at those words.
I wanted to believe him. But trust had been broken long before this moment, and rebuilding it wasn’t going to be easy.
It would take more than just grand gestures.
It would take time and honesty, things I wasn’t even sure I could offer in return.
For now, I was just too tired to say any more.
But Chris didn’t push. He simply nodded, squeezing my hand once more, and settled back into his chair.
The room went quiet, the steady beep of the machines the only sound left between us.
I let my eyes drift shut again, not to sleep but to shut everything out for just a moment.
Chris didn’t let go, and neither did I. Maybe, in this moment, that was all we needed.