25. Ember
TWENTY-FIVE
EMBER
Not only was I stupid, but I was also a coward. I heard Jack and Darby go downstairs and eat dinner. Their conversation was muted, but it sounded like they’d made up.
I didn’t hear any piano, but I didn’t hear any yelling, either.
Then I realized I was straining my ears trying to figure out what they were doing, and I put some earbuds in to distract myself. First, I worked at my computer, my gaze bouncing from my laptop to the door to the suitcase I’d rolled into the corner next to the dresser.
Then there was a knock. It was strong and authoritative, rattling the door in its frame.
Jack had come to talk.
For a bright, blazing moment, I imagined him opening that door and looking at me with the soft, tender look that made my heart melt.
I imagined him wrapping his arms around me and telling me he was sorry for speaking so harshly.
Then I’d apologize for overstepping, and we’d find our way again.
There’d be no question of me leaving. Right here was exactly where I belonged. I was home.
But that’s not what happened. I opened the door and saw the same flat mask he’d worn before.
Stepping aside to let him in, I steeled myself by lifting my chin and straightening my shoulders.
He faced me, but I spoke first. “I apologize for overstepping with Darby,” I said.
“I didn’t know about the meaning of piano for you.
I was only trying to be supportive of her. ”
His eyelid twitched, and he nodded, but he didn’t say anything.
And whatever hope existed inside me died. I slumped slightly, then forced myself to look him in the eye when I asked, “Was any of it real?” My voice creaked, but I continued: “What happened between us? Any of those things you told me?”
Jack’s jaw looked like it was made from stone. He swallowed once, then did a little half-shrug, half-shake of his head. “I don’t know, Ember. I think we both got carried away.”
Ouch. It hurt because it was true.
I knew my eyes were glassy, but I held back my tears with all my might.
I nodded. “Right.” It was a harsh whisper, but it was all I could manage through the constriction in my throat.
A bitter laugh spilled out of me. The pressure in my heart became too much for me to hold back.
I’d let this man in, and this is how he treated me?
He was looking at me like he didn’t even know me.
Suddenly, I needed to know: “What happened between you and Sofia?”
He blinked at me, and finally it looked like he was in the room with me. He frowned. “What?”
“Obviously something happened. What was it?”
He scoffed, spreading his hands. “We slept together a few times. She left. That’s it. It didn’t mean anything.”
I didn’t believe him. I didn’t believe a word. He’d probably crushed her heart the way he was crushing mine. Maybe he hadn’t done it on purpose, but he’d done it. My bottom lip trembled. “Is that what you’ll tell people about me?”
He jerked like I’d just stabbed him. Then his expression hardened again. “Come on, Ember,” he said, like I was the one who was being ridiculous. Like it was so insane for me to be hurt right now. Like the past month hadn’t happened.
I didn’t want him to see me cry. I sucked in a hard breath and grabbed the doorknob in the universal get-the-hell-out signal. “I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”
Something flashed across Jack’s expression. Another flicker of emotion, there and gone. “You don’t—” He grimaced. “You don’t have to rush. I’m not kicking you out. It’s just…”
No. He didn’t get to play the good guy now. He didn’t get to pretend like I was welcome here when we both knew I wasn’t. I shook my head. “It’s fine.”
It really wasn’t.
“Ember—” I waited, but he just stared at me, then shoved his hand through his hair and exhaled sharply. He closed his eyes for a beat, then dipped his chin and walked out.
That was it. That was how hard he fought for me to stay. That was how real all his pretty lies had been. I was hollowed out and exhausted, but my mind spun too hard for me to sleep.
A hellish night followed. I passed out around four o’clock in the morning after tossing and turning all night.
Finally, the day dawned, and I busied myself packing the last of my things while I could hear them eating breakfast downstairs.
If it hadn’t been for Darby, I would’ve waited for Jack to leave before scurrying away like the coward I’d always been.
But I forced myself to haul my suitcase downstairs and face the girl who meant the world to me. The girl I’d probably never see again.
She looked at my bag, and her face crumpled. That’s what did me in. Tears flowed down my cheeks like a river, and I couldn’t stop them no matter how hard I tried. She threw her arms around me and squeezed.
“I’m so sorry,” I said into her hair. “I’m so sorry we put you through this.”
“Don’t go,” she said.
“I have to.”
She pulled away, her face red and splotchy. Jack reached for her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and she buried her face in his chest.
I was a monster. I met Jack’s gaze, and I knew he was thinking the same about himself. We’d been selfish and stupid and shortsighted to do this to Darby. The shame of it was overwhelming. All I could do was run away from it, leaving the two of them behind.
Three miles outside of Marswood Harbor, I had to pull over and sob.
Then I wiped my face, pulled myself together, and kept driving.
JACK
She left her rings on the bedside table in the attic room. I stared at them for a long time. She was gone, and that was good. We had our house back. Things could go back to normal. I would be able to focus on my daughter the way I had before.
I’d been selfish to get involved with Ember. It had been a massive mistake.
But it was over now.
Maybe if I kept telling myself that, it would eventually feel like the truth.