26. Ember #2
She blamed me for all of it, and as the days wore on, I was pretty sure she was right.
But what was I supposed to do? The woman had come to me with a contract. We’d had a plan. Wasn’t it smart to stick to it? She was supposed to leave.
All that shit that had happened in between…
I grimaced, shaking my head. It didn’t mean anything. We’d gotten carried away. I’d forgotten what it was like to have a woman in the house, that was all. Warm meals and laughter and sex. Anyone would miss it. Wouldn’t they?
I blasted the heat when we climbed into the car, driving slowly in the direction of the school. Darby said nothing to me until we were idling outside the school gates. Then she looked at me, and I saw the stubborn tilt of Tanya’s chin as she lifted it toward me.
“I miss Ember.”
It was a punch to the gut. “Darbs…”
“You were different when she was here,” my daughter continued. “You laughed more.”
“I laugh plenty.”
She rolled her eyes, but I caught the trembling of her bottom lip. Then she swallowed and said, “She made me feel…” A sharp inhale. A shrug. “She made me feel like life was easy. Now everything seems so much harder.”
Blue eyes stared into mine, glassy and filled with tears. My throat was a raw mass of shredded flesh. I exhaled, opened my mouth, and paused.
I knew exactly what Darby meant, because it was how I felt too. When Ember was with us, the future was bright. Now…
Darby sighed. “I have to go,” she said, slithering out of the car. I watched her rush inside, feeling like I was bleeding out from a hole in my chest that had been there for a decade and no one had even noticed. Including me.
My brothers wouldn’t expect me to come into work today, but I had nothing better to do. I made my way toward Main Street so I could turn toward headquarters.
When I passed Ivan Popov’s antiques shop, the lights were on.
The door opened, and a beautiful blonde walked out, all willowy limbs and wild, curly hair.
Wind whipped up the strands so she had to shove them off her face as the ends of her wool jacket flapped.
She shut the antique shop door and fumbled with a set of keys.
Sofia Popov.
I parked before I knew what I was doing. Got out before I could change my mind.
She glanced up, blinked, and smiled. “Jack. Hi.”
I stopped a few feet away from her. “Hey, Sofia. You’re back.”
She found the right key and slid it into the lock. It snicked shut, and she straightened. Her gaze slid over to me, a groomed eyebrow arching. “I’m back,” she confirmed. “My father left me a mess to clean up. A few messes, actually.”
I glanced at the antiques shop, then at her. She was studying me in that particular way that women studied men they might be interested in. Wondering if I’d be worth the trouble. I had the immediate, overwhelming urge to shut that down, so I said, “Can I ask you a question?”
She tilted her head. “Sure.”
“When you left town…” How to word this in a way that didn’t make me sound like an arrogant asshole. I shoved my hands in my pockets. “When you left town, were you…” Shit. Why was this so hard? I looked into her eyes and said, “Did I hurt you?”
Sofia blinked. Reared back a little, then let out a tinkling laugh. “Jack,” she said, almost fondly. “You’ve always had a very high opinion of yourself.” I opened my mouth, but she continued: “I guess my dad probably didn’t help shrink that big head of yours, huh.”
“That sounds like a no.”
“We had sex, what, three times?” She gave me a look that said, you stupid man. “The answer is no. You didn’t break my heart.”
I exhaled, not quite understanding the soup of emotions simmering in my gut.
I was relieved that I hadn’t misjudged the situation between us.
But I also remembered the way Ember had looked at me when she’d asked me if I’d describe our relationship the same way I’d described mine and Sofia’s, and my stomach knotted with disgust. The two of them weren’t on the same planet in my mind. They weren’t in the same universe.
If someone asked me to describe my relationship with Ember, I had no idea what I’d say.
“My father went a bit funny after Mom died,” Sofia continued.
“He kept talking about me staying at home and taking over the shop. He said it was what Mom had always wanted. Wouldn’t listen to me when I told him it wasn’t what I wanted.
” She gave me a sad smile. “I had to get out of here, to get away from all of it. It had nothing to do with you.”
“Oh,” I said, thinking of Darby. She hadn’t played the piano since Ember left, and I’d told her she still had to do the recital. I was no better than Ivan Popov. My eyes felt hot, and the bridge of my nose prickled.
It was this fucking day. Every year, it came around and knocked me sideways.
Sofia cast a glance around Main Street, down to the wedge of dull gray ocean we could see from here, seeming lost in her own thoughts of the past and the present and all the ways they were tangled and messed up.
She snorted. “And now I’m back in Marswood Harbor anyway.
” Her eyes took on a gleam I remembered from our short relationship.
She looked me up and down, a small smile curling the corner of her lips. “But being back isn’t all bad.”
It was the type of invitation I was used to. She obviously had her own baggage and was feeling strange about being back. Usually, I would do anything for a distraction from my spinning thoughts.
We could use each other, and we’d know exactly how much it meant: zero.
Two months ago, I would’ve invited Sofia home and spent the day in bed with her. She was beautiful and willing. It was a no-brainer.
But right now, I couldn’t think of anything worse than sleeping with her.
I smiled. “No, it’s not all bad,” I said. “There’s a new bakery in town. Opened about five years ago.” I nodded down the hill toward Knead More Bread. “You should check it out.”
There was a flash of surprise in her eyes, but she still smiled at me. “Will do, Jack,” she said, and waved me off. No hard feelings between us. In fact, there were no feelings at all.
I got back in my car just in time to feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and glanced at it as I slipped it into the center console, then did a double take.