CHAPTER ELEVEN
JAKE
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So, I don’t actually have a plan.
I’ve dated a lot and have no issues wining and dining a beautiful woman. That part isn’t a problem. What I mean is I don’t have a fucking plan to navigate this hurdle between Caylee and me.
I realize if I want to keep seeing her, and have her forgive me, I need to say something.
But I can’t.
She’s a relative. That’s more than I’ve told anyone. You see, in my family, you don’t say anything. You keep what happens between us behind closed doors, and that includes medical people and officials.
Yup, I am very aware of the irony.
Thing is, when those words, threats and instructions have been pounded into you as a kid, said over and over, you do as you are told.
They become the rules which you play by.
You live by.
Even when you can see the absurdity of it.
Parents and family units have enormous power. Add in the guilt of losing a sister...
I shut up.
I do what I need to protect my remaining family.
And pay the cost personally every day.
After Liam triggered me this afternoon, I almost canceled the date, but there was no way I was going to miss this chance. My second chance, but I know it will be my last.
I can’t fuck it up.
I don’t know exactly what I’m asking her and the likelihood of Caylee telling me to take a flying leap is extremely high.
Which makes me the stupidest man on the planet.
I get her settled in my black Chevrolet, and we make small talk all the way to the restaurant. When we’re seated and facing one another, it’s like someone handed me the microphone. Everyone is waiting for me to speak.
Crap.
Still no plan.
I’m going to mess this up.
“Should we order?” I pick up the menu, and Caylee hesitates for a moment, then does the same.
We order.
And now the clock has run out, big boy.
“This place looks good,” she says, being nice. It’s more than I deserve.
“It’s my first time, so if it’s not great, we can blame Liam.” I sip my water.
“You told Liam we were having dinner?” Caylee asks surprised. “That explains why Cole called me. Five times.”
Jesus, really?
“What is he, your gatekeeper?” I respond, annoyed. But then again, Liam was right, if this was my sister, I’d have been waiting at the door with a shotgun. “I just asked him about any good restaurants in the area. I live about thirty minutes away.”
Caylee glances down.
She didn’t know that.
“Listen, I’m sorry, I realize—”
Our meals arrive, and I just bought myself another few minutes. Fates are on my side tonight, but I know I have to come clean.
Except I can’t.
Caylee is not the first girl who’s accused me of not being monogamous, but she’s the first that I care about having to walk away from.
I watch her pour soy sauce on her sushi and glance up a few times. I move my teriyaki chicken around the plate.
“You were saying?” she prompts.
“It’s a family thing.” I bite down on the chicken and chew as if another forty odd seconds are going to help anything. “My mom, she...” I feel my heart beating faster, the disloyalty tightening around my lungs. “Sometimes I have to be there for my family.”
Caylee slides another piece of sushi into her mouth.
“There was no other woman. Ever.” I add.
“We all have to be there for our family, Jake. But at three in the morning? Repeatedly. Is she sick?”
My jaw starts to clench.
This is getting close to uncomfortable territory.
“I went about it all wrong. Dating hasn’t been a priority for me, and I think we both agree the sex was incredible.”
Diversion.
Nice one, Jake.
Caylee blushes, and I itch to reach across the table, drag her to her feet and take her home.
Why do we need to talk about this? I wasn’t cheating—I would never cheat on Caylee.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” I smirk, and when those blue eyes of hers meet mine a bolt of desire slams into me.
Jesus fuck.
“Yes, it’s a yes.” She fluffs about with her napkin. “But that’s no excuse for never taking me on a date. Why? Why didn’t you?”
“You never asked, I thought we both liked how things were going.”
“Jake, it wasn’t going anywhere. We were fuck buddies.” She frowns.
I reach for my drink, annoyed with the term. Does she have a new fuck buddy? I’ve never even asked if she’s seeing anyone else and am suddenly highly irritated. Because if she is, and I’ve just opened up more about my life than with anyone outside my family I’ll be pissed.
Maybe I shouldn’t have asked her out.
Maybe...fuck.
I should be mending my relationship with Cole. This is a huge opportunity with BHS, and in our line of work, the connection you have with your team members is important.
Not to mention the money is four times better than on the force.
I should walk away.
Say goodbye.
Let her go...but I am not going to.
Caylee is still interested. Her attraction to me is on display in her eyes and the way she holds herself, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
I’m not hiding mine, either.
Still, she hasn’t forgiven me yet, so sex is completely off the table.
Although, sex on the table would be hot as fuck.
First, I need to work out if she’s single.
“Why did you come out with me tonight? Have you met someone? Looking for closure?”
The moment the words leave my mouth, I see my mistake.
“Do I have a replacement fuck buddy?” Caylee pushes her plate away. “Nice one, Jake.”
“That’s not what I was asking.” My appetite fades at the same time, because it kind of was.
I don’t do relationships, so have no experience in how to truly wine and dine a woman.
Caylee sighs, taking a sip of her drink, then meets my gaze across the table. “You never answered about your mom.”
“She’s not sick.” I confess.
“So, you’re a mommy’s boy.”
“Something like that.”
“You need to set boundaries. Any woman is going to be annoyed with that behavior.”
I nod.
I am very aware of that, and if it was that simple, I would’ve fixed it a long time ago.
It’s not.
I’m to blame as much as the other members in my family at the end of the day. If I’d stopped him...
Becca would still be alive.
Then my mother wouldn’t feel the need to ring me multiple times a week...broken, filled with her own guilt and yet seeking to blame me.
As she should. I was old enough...
“Jake, are you listening?” Caylee interrupts my dark thoughts.
“Yup. I know. She’s going through some stuff,” I say and hear the lie in my words.
“I’m sorry.”
Fuck.
I slide my glass an inch away and meet her eyes. “I want another chance. I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I realize I messed up and—”
“Jake.”
“I know Cole and I need to talk, but leave that to me. I’m a big boy. Which you already know.” I smirk, letting my dimples do their important work.
Don’t let me down, guys.
When she blushes again, I know I’m close.
“You’re impossible.”
“Tenacious.” I lean onto my elbows, closer. “Madly attracted to you.”
Her blush deepens.
Christ, if she doesn’t stop, my cock is going to turn rock solid under the table, and I’ll have to drag her into the bathroom and find out how far down that blush goes.
I know what she tastes like.
I know how wet her pussy gets.
I know how deep my cock fits.
I watch her nipples harden, and my voice is husky when I rasp, “And I want to fuck you again very soon.”
Caylee shudders and licks her lips.
I curse, glancing around the room looking for the server and our bill. Right now.
When our eyes connect again, I see her dilated pupils. This is what we do. Our chemistry is off the charts, and there is no point ignoring it.
“Say yes, Caylee.”
She chews her bottom lip, making my dick twice as hard. “Yes.”
“Good girl,” I growl, standing, and reach out my hand. I slam some cash down on the table and drag her sexy ass out of the restaurant.
When we hit the pavement, I spin her around and against my chest, clasp both hands on her face and smash my mouth down on hers.
Caylee moans.
The world just righted itself.
My world, at least.